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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the 50s

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Comment by Barzan on December 31, 2017 at 10:43am

Slick, I get what you're saying about dating. No one measures up and most want something we aren't willing ro just give on a whim.  I also love to travel but have to save up for my trips and don't have a travel partner as my friends are either working. really broke or have a mate to travel with.  Perhaps you and I have to pursue this and see if we'd get along as travel friends.

Comment by genevive on December 31, 2017 at 3:39am

You said that well," I miss the person I was when we were together". I too, miss the happy, secure person I was. I have 4 children and 4 grandchildren who live close by. I have many friends, a full time job,  and stay busy, but I still miss what I had and who I was for 36 years. Although I am a strong person, I especially miss my husband when I have to make a hard decision, he was always my sounding board. 

I have recently started dating someone, and he is completely different than my husband. I have been surprised that this has brought out a teenager-y happiness in me. It has helped with the feeling I had of being alone even when I was with people. 

Comment by Lev on December 31, 2017 at 3:23am

I hear you.  This journey feels very painful and lonely. The question to myself has been.  How do I move past this sense of aloneness and isolation?  Love between two people is an active way of being human in this world.  I don't want a husband.  I just want to feel passionate about life and love.  My husband was the easiest person to live with.  The easiest person to love.  I miss everything about him.  However, I also miss the person I was when we were together.  Only I have the power to give that person permission to live again.  That is, at this hour, My  New year's Eve message to myself.  My nickname for my husband was Mr Wonderful..I will actualises the love we were in my everyday...I shall keep on trying....love with hugs to eveyone

 

Comment by irishlady (jan) on December 31, 2017 at 2:09am

Right there with all of you. My husband will be gone 5 years in April and some days I feel like I am doing OK and others, not so good. This was a tough holiday season for me this year too. I hate New Years....just reminds me it will be yet another year without my husband. I am trying counseling again. Hopeful, but....  She says I need to find out what to do that will fulfill me. Have no idea. I just know I am sick of being alone. I have a couple of grief group friends, but they are in a different financial category than me and can do things I can not. My 14 year old dog has developed separation anxiety and I got complaints from the neighbors, so now have to take her everywhere I go or not go. Tough in this severe cold weather. No one seems to understand that anymore than they do being a widow. You have to have gone through it all. And now I am facing a possible health issue and not looking forward to going through that all alone. It was an act of congress to get my daughter to accompany me as an extra set of ears at the appointment. Praying it is not something serious, but if so, I have already figured out I am on my own, Hugs for all of us....we need those.

Comment by Lev on December 30, 2017 at 2:15pm

It really feels like a roller coaster ride.  But I must thank the wonderful folk who started this online community for us and to all the members.  Joining this community is making me feel more optimistic about being a widow.  This is really just an awful time of the year.  It used to be a wonderful time of the year for us.  Thank you for sharing and caring.  

Comment by LadyAva on December 30, 2017 at 7:08am

Hello Group!

im in the 7th month since Moses passed. It feels like yesterday, but I can say it's a journey!!

I just moved in my new apartment in Ocala, FL,. I was able to sleep all night for the first time

in seven months. I'm hoping to raise money to go to the Camp Widow in Tampa, Fl in March.

I want to be able to add to the support of  Souring Spirits, and start a Regional Group in my area.

Blessings!

Ava

Comment by Maggie on December 30, 2017 at 6:21am

I feel so many of the things all of you feel. Just lately with a new year heading our way, I just feel the pointlessness of my life. Alone going on 5 years, no children, a few friends, some activities, but inside...alone.

not interested in finding a man at 71. I want peace of mind, but it is illusive.

Comment by Barzan on December 30, 2017 at 5:23am

Hi Lev,

My husband passed in 2011 and I'm still adjusting to this new normal.  It goes in stages.  What makes it so difficult is that we are not understood by those who have not gone through this and therefore unable to offer the comfort and words that we long to hear.  We are in a special group where we have to rely on each other for support.  I'm sorry you had to be part of this group but know that we are here for you.  

The holidays are particularly more difficult and I can't say they've gotten better as the years have gone by.  I just keep myself busy and focus on family.

Blessing to you.

Comment by Lev on December 29, 2017 at 7:11pm

Hi. Lev here from South Africa.  My husband passed away in August 2016.  I could never have imagined what life is like now without my best friend, my love and companion.  I have moved twice since he passed away and I am moving again.  This new normal is a difficult adjustment.   

Comment by Princess Warrior Widow on December 28, 2017 at 12:56am

Hi LadyAva.  I am sorry for your loss. I hope that you had some good memories on your anniversary.   Holidays and anniversaries are tough.  I trust God too.  

 

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