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Born in the 50s

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Members: 723
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Discussion Forum


Started by Mike. Last reply by Barzan on Saturday. 18 Replies

Anyone in San Diego ?

Started by ron323. Last reply by Melissa on Friday. 3 Replies


Started by ron323. Last reply by Melissa on Friday. 11 Replies

Giving Myself a Panic Attack

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by Tekwriter Aug 9. 10 Replies

Problems with moving

Started by Racingfan60. Last reply by Tekwriter Aug 9. 3 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Lev on December 29, 2017 at 7:11pm

Hi. Lev here from South Africa.  My husband passed away in August 2016.  I could never have imagined what life is like now without my best friend, my love and companion.  I have moved twice since he passed away and I am moving again.  This new normal is a difficult adjustment.   

Comment by Princess Warrior Widow on December 28, 2017 at 12:56am

Hi LadyAva.  I am sorry for your loss. I hope that you had some good memories on your anniversary.   Holidays and anniversaries are tough.  I trust God too.  

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:20am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

Comment by LadyAva on November 30, 2017 at 12:16pm
Hi I'm Ava, I'm a newlywed widow. Married a short 6 months, it's been 6 months today, when Moses passed away. I went to the UHual to reserve a truck. The clerk asked where was other half because we were always together.. she burst into tears. It was awful!! Dec 2nd will be out 1st year wedding anniversary. This week has been hard, but I'm trusting God for strength..
Comment by Mimms on November 30, 2017 at 7:02am

Comment by Mimms 1 hour ago
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Hi, this is Mimms from Pittsburgh PA. My beloved husband of 38 years, Bob, passed away suddenly July 22, 2012, from an infection called sepsis which he got while he had an aortic aneurysm in 2005. We thought the infection was being controlled but it seems that sepsis is a smart little bacteria and continues to evolve, knows how to hide in your tissues, doesn't show up in blood workups. Then suddenly shows back up and is vicious and attacks your body so quickly it's unbelievable. He got up in the AM like usual, didn't seem to be 'with it' - he was dead 24 hours later.
This past July I acknowledged the fifth anniversary of his passing with a few friends.
More on the story later.
Thanks for listening.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on November 14, 2017 at 12:57pm

My mother who passed in March at the age of 96 and 7 years after my Dad died, taught me to "thrive" not just survive. Courage too. Thanks.

Comment by Seashell on November 14, 2017 at 8:31am

I am very grateful to have had Jerry for nearly 35 years. I still celebrate our anniversaries by counting them. This year would have been our 39th anniversary. No matter when we lose our spouse it is always too soon. It's amazing how each of our stories of our spouses passing affects us. I lost my husband suddenly but the next person lost their spouse slowly over time. When I hear their story I am thankful my husband did not suffer but saddened that I was not able to say good-bye to him. After doing the math I have concluded that widowhood runs long in my family. My grandmother, my mother, and my aunts have all been widows for 30 and more years. I lost my husband a little over 4 years ago. It is the strength of these women and how they persevered through life that keep me going. My mother gave me one word two months after Jerry died "courage". She told me that I was courageous and that there would be times when I would just be flooded with emotions and afraid to go on but that somehow I would find the courage to continue. My mother has been gone for 2 years now and today she once again gave me the courage to go on. Thank you Mom.

Comment by Barzan on October 23, 2017 at 7:36am

Seashell, so glad my words were helpful.  We are all here to help one another get through our days as best as we can.  My husband has been gone "physically" for over 6 years but "spiritually" is with me all the time.  He talks to me in many ways;  sometimes in dreams, sometimes through my pet and often just pops into my head to guide me through some unchartered waters.  I never doubt that he's with me and so I feel blessed.

I only had my husband for 31 years so you should feel blessed to have had 8 more years with yours.  We have to always be thankful for what we had and grateful for what we still have.  

You, my friend, have a blessed day.

Comment by Seashell on October 23, 2017 at 6:50am

Thank you Barzan for your uplifting words. Both of my daughters are going through difficult times right now and I know they need to hear those words of praise from me. I had a difficult relationship with my oldest daughter for a good many years and 15 months after my husband passed away I came to the conclusion to just love her no matter what. That love has enabled her to come back to me and tell me she was ending her marriage and to include me into her and her children's lives since. Although I live 5 hours away from both of my daughters I try to get up to see them once a month.  I like your suggestion of the Vitamin D. I have not been on them for awhile and with the added stress to my life I have been fighting off something for the past month. On another note: Saturday would have been our 39th wedding anniversary. Although Jerry has been gone for over four years I still miss him. I asked him to show himself to me and last night I had a dream about him. 

Comment by Barzan on October 21, 2017 at 5:49am

Mary. Irish Lady and Slick,

I'm not one to pass out advice but having read all your posts this past week, I decided to chime in.   I have a great relationship with the kids and one of the things I do and have always done was to praise them.  I praise them on their parenting skills, how lovely the house is decorated, on their jobs and whatever else accomplishments they have made.  I never criticize them and only give advice that has been requested.  I love to bake and ask them if they'd like some goodies dropped off.  I never get a no and it gives me an excuse to visit briefly.  They all have high demand careers so bits of time spent is always a plus.  

I also think that when one parent passes, their anger really isn't meant for you but for the fact that the family dynamic has changed.  I try to inject a "your dad would have loved this, or would have been so proud of you....".  

Hope this was helpful.  I also hope that as time passes, your kids will be more accepting and caring.   Just keep taking care of you.

One more thing.  Talk to you doctor about having a blood test for vitamin D level.  A low level can add to depression or mood swings.  Mine was low and now, with higher doses, I can see a huge change.


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