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Born in the 50s

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Members: 695
Latest Activity: 9 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Self Discovery

Started by Tess. Last reply by Tess 9 hours ago. 11 Replies

TRAVELING ALONE?

Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by Slick on Saturday. 69 Replies

DATING?

Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Tess Jan 14. 109 Replies

MOVING?

Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Sheryls Dec 5, 2017. 6 Replies

I'm A Grandma!!!

Started by Susan. Last reply by Susan Nov 7, 2017. 9 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

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Comment by Lev on January 13, 2018 at 7:25am

Dear Riverside

that must have been devastating for you.  no warning.  I cannot imagine what the suddenness of your  aloneness must feel like.  i am deeply sorry for your loss.   I hope that we can offer you some comfort so that you feel less alone.  

with love and hugs

Lavona

Comment by danny's girl on January 12, 2018 at 9:35pm

Muns, I just read your post and my heart hurts for both you and your daughter.  I am with you in  that I also believe in God. I practice Faith and Gratitude every day.  I Have Faith that I will one day be reunited with all my loved ones that have gone on before me. I am grateful for the years we had together and the memories that we made.  My husband has been gone 7 years and it is my unwavering faith in God that has gotten me this far.  

May God bless you, your daughter and your granddaughters as you travel this journey. Better days are coming...it just takes time. 

Comment by Muns on January 12, 2018 at 9:22am

Thank you all who responded to my post.  I am fortunate to believe in God and the power of prayer, my daughter does not.  I also find comfort in the fact my Steve was re baptized by our wonderful pastor a week or so before his death.  I have a stronger faith now since that day.  My husband was so peaceful after that instead of being angry about dying. 

Besides this group, I have a wonderful support system here in the Phoenix area and a wonderful sister in California.  My daughter will be moving back to Arizona when school gets out the end of May.

I did get some counseling before the holidays and I learned some coping tools.  What helps me the most is to look at my glass half full instead of empty.  Steve was my second marriage and so loving.  My first was verbally abusive and volatile.  Of coarse Steve and I  had our bantering back and forth, just like most married couples, but we weren't mean to each other and we enjoyed each other's company.  I am grateful that I was fortunate enough to marry such a good man and to have him for as long as I did.  A lot of women don't get that second chance at love.

So the pain is still awful and I miss him like crazy but I am a survivor.  I know now from reading your posts the pain will never go away, it will get better.  Thanks again.     

Comment by riverside on January 12, 2018 at 5:43am

Muns, I feel you pain.  I lost my husband very unexpectedly 2 months ago, while we were vacationing in California. At dinner time, we had a good time with friends, then two hours later, boom, he was gone.   We both worked hard and then retired in 2011, started to enjoy life with lots of travelling. Now the essential part of me is no longer exist, the pain is unspeakable and it is 24/7.  Hope we can support each other here.  

  

Comment by Slick on January 12, 2018 at 5:22am

My dear Muns....My heart feels such sorrow for you and your daughter.....God be with you both , and bring all of His peace to your hearts.....I'm so sorry I have no words...to comfort you....may peace find you...

Comment by Lev on January 12, 2018 at 12:03am

Dear Mums

it took some time for me to digest your story and your daughters.  

a load upon a load.  Nothing luck about that. absolutely nothing.

Sending you hugs on a ray of sunshine. Thinking of you and your daughter.

I share all the sentiments that Barzan posted earlier.

Lavona

Comment by LadyAva on January 11, 2018 at 1:49pm

Hello Group, 

I joined a second GriefShare group this week. This group is at a different location. It's been almost 8 months since my Moses passed away. I've moved to a new apartment about 40 mins away. Today I cried because he's  not in my new place with me. At least I'm sleeping since I've moved. I'm happy for support from this group.

Comment by Barzan on January 11, 2018 at 11:53am

Hello Muns,  I just read your post.  That is absolutely devastating for both you and your daughter.  I cannot offer words of encouragement that would adequately reflect what you are going through.  Please keep posting on here with whatever is on you mind or in your heart.  We are all here to lift each other up and be there for you.  If you haven't joined a grief counseling group yet, I strongly encourage you to do so.  They can help het you over some of the hurdles on coping.  

God bless you and keep us posted on how you are doing because we are on the same journey.

Comment by Muns on January 11, 2018 at 8:02am

This will be my first comment although I joined this group and have been reading your comments for some time.  One day at a time.  Such simple words but that is how I am surviving this journey.  My husband Steve and I had our own business and worked together side by side till we retired in 2014.  He started not feeling well last March and was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 4/6/2017.  He faded away very quickly and passed away the morning of 4/22.  I get tired of hearing from well wishers how lucky we were because he did not suffer.  I don't feel lucky.  We were married 23 years and we did everything together. 

My daughter from Utah visited us right before Steve started not feeling well.  She came with my two granddaughters 4 and 6 at the time.  When she arrived home her husband Jesse, 37, was not feeling well.  In April he ended up in ICU with a colloid cyst in his brain.  He passed away 4/13, a week before Steve, leaving her with two little girls to raise.  I couldn't be there for her because I was taking care of my husband.   

On a more positive note, your comments and blogs are a comfort knowing I am not alone. We all have our story to tell and I learn so much from all of you. They helped tremendously over the holidays.  A friend, a widow, suggested I join Soaring Spirits back in April  It's the best advice I have gotten since I lost my Steve.

Comment by CarLady on January 11, 2018 at 7:37am

Hi Lev and NancyD - I’m also in that stable wondering if I can find a horse to ride after the old barn burned to the ground.  It may be that we need to find a new ride rather than expecting to pick up where we left off at some point in the past.  I need to figure out who I am now, and what I want for my future years alone - my choices, likes and dislikes were influenced by what was best for others, but now I have to decide everything on my own.  It’s daunting, and the realization that I don’t know who I am or what I like has shaken me.  I’m glad I gave everything I had to my DH while I was lucky enough to have him, but I completely lost myself somewhere along that journey. I’ve made tons of decisions and changes in the past 4years since his passing, it’s becoming easier with time. Last year I pushed myself to renovate the house and retired from my long-time career a couple of weeks ago in December.  I figured I might as well face these big changes now while I’m youngish (62) and healthy instead of waiting until they were forced on me - I wanted it to be my choice.  Let’s hope there’s happy trails ahead for all of us.  Hugs. 

 

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