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Born in the 50s

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Discussion Forum

Problems with moving

Started by Racingfan60. Last reply by Melissa Mar 10. 2 Replies


Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by Christogigi Feb 18. 76 Replies


Started by Tess. Last reply by Beansy Feb 9. 21 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Slick yesterday

Don...I am so sorry for your loss....this is raw to you right now....Mike has given you great advise....I"m not sure about your family members or friends...but I pray there is a brother, son, close friend who can help ...Please keep in touch with us here to let us know if you have gotten help...Peace and Prayers coming your way...

Comment by Tess yesterday

That is good advice Mike. Don, the grief process is extremely exhausting. I think people underestimate the toll that it takes, not only emotionally, but physically. Take it slow (I know I hated to hear that, but now see the wisdom in those words) and be good to yourself. I see the care from everyone on this website. I only discovered it a couple of months ago and find it is helpful to be able to identify with others who have been through similar losses. Prior to that I did individual therapy for a while. It helped to be able to talk and cry it out. You do need that outlet. I am sending healing thoughts your way. Remember you are not alone. (Hugs)

Comment by Mike yesterday

Hi dcube, my name is Mike and my wife died on December 23rd our thirtieth anniversary. I am 61. My wife was also my best friend.  If possible have someone come and stay with you and help you. In the beginning I could not do anything either nor did I want to. If you know someone who will just be with you that can helpful. Ask for help from anyone you know. People don’t always know what to do but want to help. Sometimes we have to ask or tell them what we need. Reach out. 

Comment by dcube yesterday

Hi every body my nameis Don I'm 59 and I lost my wife on feb 9 and theburial was Valentines day. I have no energy to move shower or anything else for that matter she was my best friend for 30 years

Comment by Muns on March 13, 2018 at 6:12pm

Irishlady...I am new at this.  My dear Steve died of cancer 4/22/2017.  My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best.  For me it is one day at a time.  .

Comment by Slick on March 13, 2018 at 11:12am

Irishlady....I also had a harder time this year with all birthdays and anniversaries...I don't know why but I did....7 years for my husband...20 for my daughter and yet last 2 years I was somewhat ok ..not this year...but I found that it was actually the anticipation that got to me this year....I was fine that day...and pray you are too..

Comment by irishlady on March 13, 2018 at 11:03am

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to me. I would just love to get out of this state and the one I came from...and go somewhere totally different. I have a friend in Florida who would have me in an instant, but alas,  I could not afford that on my budget. Being alone that day is not really an option for me as I suffer from depression and the more time I spend all alone, the worse it is. Some of you, know about my moving in with my youngest son and the trials I went through there with his girlfriend. The depression, unfortunately has continued. I do not want to take medications, I prefer to work through it and that is why I am in counseling again. But, this area has such bad memories right now, that I want to be away from it that day. I have gone to museums on that day, traveled back to my hometown one year, shopping expeditions, traveled to cities in our area. Like I said, for some reason, this year is particularly difficult. I'm sure something will come to me eventually. Thank you all again. (((hugs)))

Comment by Slick on March 13, 2018 at 7:06am

Barzan...this is a wonderful Idea...I have talked about getting out of town for about 5 years now...but sadly have no one to travel with...I hope there is a way we can meet while you are in the Philly area.

Comment by Barzan on March 13, 2018 at 6:16am

Irishlady, Like Slick, my husband passed nearly 7 yrs ago and after the first year of staying home, I decided that I would go with one of my friends somewhere for that week.  We've done Taos, NM, Santa Fe, NM and this year we are heading to Philly.  I am fortunate in that I have a circle of friends that are happy to take their turn on a trip with me.  My mother-in-law comes along sometimes.  This works for me but it may not be what works for you.  I know my late husband would be 100% for the way I deal with that awful day.  He'd want me to take care of myself and be happy.  

I hope you find the best way to get through that day yourself.  Most of all, be kind to yourself.

Comment by Slick on March 13, 2018 at 6:06am

Irishlady....I have to agree with everyone who has written.....I just passed 7 husband died on my deceased daughter's birthday so I have a double whammy that day....the first year I made plans...I picked up Balloons and Lady Ava suggested...and headed to the cemetery alone....I was so shaken knowing my husband passed the year before and I was singing happy birthday to my middle daughter...that I think I blacked out for a little while..still not able to understand dealing with this in one day ..but since the first year...and I will say as that the second year , the entire year itself was one of my hardest...I still struggle at times to make knew friends since 4 of my closest girlfriends passed very young....or even a male companion who would like to have some fun, take a day trip...I have kept busy , volunteered, etc...and yet I find myself in the same place....trying to make a happy life for myself....I would like to move, but have no idea where to go..I just wanted to throw that all in so you would see that we all have our times of not knowing what to do, how to help rights and wrongs here.....I do agree with Tess...I no longer make plans..but get up that day and do what I feel would be best for me...I am usually alone...I have pictures in a room of my house that honors all my my lost ones...there are so many .....I put flowers and sometimes if it's a birthday , a happy birthday balloon near their picture, light a candle , talk to them , say a prayer....and spend the day quietly , alone...doing things I like...the massage and maybe a mani and pedi I think is a wonderful idea and I may do it on Bill's and my anniversary which is coming up..or on my hardest day .....whatever you what is best for have a lot of support here..know that whatever you decide...there are so many thinking about you all over the world.....Peace


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