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Born in the 50s

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Discussion Forum

TRAVELING ALONE?

Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by TCHA Mar 29. 78 Replies

Problems with moving

Started by Racingfan60. Last reply by Melissa Mar 10. 2 Replies

Companionship

Started by Tess. Last reply by Beansy Feb 9. 21 Replies

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Comment by Slick on April 4, 2018 at 1:14pm

I have to agree ...I have never been frightened until I had multiple counselors tell me it could be dangerous in my case....but I do believe for people with PTSD if it's plausible it should be used....

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on April 4, 2018 at 1:09pm

Thank you Slick for providing additional information on your experience with EMDR as well as the issues you're dealing with. It's a helpful therapy no one should be frightened to utilize ...

Comment by irishlady on April 4, 2018 at 12:23pm

Shelley...My husband had a pulmonary embolism while being intubated.  He never regained consciousness. I was in the waiting area waiting to go back in when I heard the code red and watched all the people fly by me and no one would make eye contact and I KNEW. This wonderful young asian woman doctor came and got me and brought me into my husband and pushed everyone else away. they were still doing CPR, she shoved me up to him and said "he can hear you. Lean down and talk to him." We eventually stopped all resuscitation as he had been without oxygen too long, so I sat there for don't remember how long and just held his hand and talked and talked till the end many, many hours later. I hope she was right and he did hear me. I like to believe he did. And by the way, my husband, God love him was cracking jokes just before the intubation began while he was on a bipap machine and coughing up blood. that's the type of man he was. Miss him so.

Comment by Slick on April 4, 2018 at 9:45am

That is incredible SweetMelissa....I wish I was so lucky...when I dissociate .. I am not in the same state you are..it''s not like watching TV to me...I am triggered ....and the only way I can describe it is that I am in a blackout....functioning without knowing it.....my family can spot it...my counselors could always spot it...when I dealt with the traumas as an adult...they were clearly in front of me, I had all the anxiety to go with it...but worked it out in my mind as an adult....it was the hardest way....I really am happy for you that this worked so easily for you ...I have not been as lucky.

No ..sadly nothing cures grief..living through it helps us put it in a place in our hearts that we can live with..I am also a multiple loss survivor.....the losses are not related to my PTSD...

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on April 4, 2018 at 9:04am

Hi Slick,

Incredibly, I was the first patient this particular clinician performed EMDR on - it was successful. For some reason, the others w/over a decade each of experience were not able to. At the time of training, the classes were the secondary updated & improved w/better information. I never had a bad experience w/any of the other clinicians from dissociating as well as had never heard it was possible - no additional trauma. The nice thing about dissociation is that the event is like watching TV - there's no emotional attachment. The fatigue from the session caused heavy sleepiness - I slept hours for it to continue processing. I always woke feeling refreshed as if my load was falling away. I've also read Neurofeedback, a subdivision of biofeedback, is quite helpful for many w/PTSD when EMDR does not work for them ...

For those considering this treatment, EMDR does not cure grief - nothing does other than the natural grief process. EMDR is used to process a traumatic experience that interferes w/the brain's ability to do so on its own to assist victims in moving forward w/grief using coping skills ...

Comment by shelley on April 4, 2018 at 9:02am

I have a hard time sleeping.  Not all the time, but most of the time.  I've tried everything from Chinese herbs (from acupuncturist), valium, benadryl, wine, reading, television, meditation, chanting, counting.  Sometimes I don't sleep at all, just lie in bed listening to my heart beat.  If I do fall asleep, it's only for a few hours.  I have this tape in my head that plays over and over again- how my husband died, the days before and after, everything the doctors & nurses said and did, everything I said or didn't say/did or didn't do that I wish I could change. My therapist suggested I write the thoughts down to try to get them out of my head and sometimes that helps during the day.  But not at night. Any suggestions?

Comment by shelley on April 4, 2018 at 8:49am

Thank you so much, Barzan.

Comment by Barzan on April 4, 2018 at 6:06am

Shelley, I can assure you that your husband knew you were there.  My husband was unresponsive for the last 2 days of his life and I, too, kept talking to him.  I commented that I hope he can hear what I'm saying and he smiled slightly.  I also kept saying "a penny for your thoughts" and after he passed, for months, I would find coins in the strangest places.  Once, right in front of our house in the middle of the street, there was a handful of change.  I live on a court, so very little traffic.  Just watch for signs and keep talking to him.  I do and feel his presence after 7 years.

Comment by Slick on April 4, 2018 at 4:43am

Thank you Melissa for explaining..how you did it....I have been to 4 specialists and it's not so much the PTSD ..it's the fact that I dissociate when triggered......I have spent the past 2 years with one counselor working on living the traumas in the here and now and dealing with them as an adult...I have been very successful...very hard...but have done the work....I can still be triggered but 98% of the time I am not...so that is progress...we did it this way although takes longer because it was safer for me....so EMDR is not necessary anymore....now I am starting with another counselor next week....not a PTSD specialist ....because I have learned how not to be afraid of it....and how to control it...now I need to work on all the changes I have made in me...going through a late mid-life crisis....since I have been married my entire adult life....and at 64 am having a hard time knowing what I want to do ..she will also help with grief which of course I will always have, new relationships....so many different things....

Comment by Melissa on April 3, 2018 at 10:07pm

Irishlady, I wanted to watch a documentary on the Shelbourne Hotel in Dublin on Netflix last night, and had to turn it off after only a few minutes. My husband and I stayed at the Shelbourne for a week in 2004, and it felt like we were there yesterday. I just remembered how much fun we had and it broke my heart.

There are so many shows that I will never watch again, and so many books I'll never read, because Gilbert read them in bed. I can't stand to remember how we'd lie in bed and read and talk about what we'd read. It feels as if everything normal died when Gilbert did.

 

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