Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Information

Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

Members: 728
Latest Activity: on Sunday

Discussion Forum

Dating

Started by Mike. Last reply by Athena53 on Sunday. 20 Replies

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter Oct 6. 13 Replies

Anyone experiencing loneliness?

Started by bblue5. Last reply by bblue5 Sep 13. 6 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Born in the 50s to add comments!

Comment by Pointbass on May 8, 2018 at 5:30am

My late wife, Bunny, had written an email to me that was still in her draft file, unsent. The email had been written the very last night she was at home, just before her final hospitalization. In her email, she said she knew it was the end of the line, that I shouldn’t be alone, and that she would send me signs ... but I was going to have to look for them and recognize the signs when I saw them, not just fluff them off. I didn’t find this email until two months after she passed away, coincidentally on the night before her memorial service!

i think her presence is always with me, in some form, as is the case with my wife Sheila and her deceased husband, Frank.  We firmly believe that both Bunny and Frank were instrumental in our meeting each other and ultimately marrying ... there are too many highly unusual circumstances (or signs, if you prefer) that never would have happened without their intervention. Many of those signs were undeniable, in our case, making it almost impossible not to see where they came from.

Both Sheila snd I have lost sons, as well, a sad common bond that we share. In those cases, months went by before we felt any sort of presence from our children. I believe we all experience these things in our own way, in our own time tables, different from those others who share our feelings of loss. But if we remain open to the possibilities, and also recognize signs when they are presented, those we lost will be there to guide us through. 

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 7, 2018 at 10:50pm

(((Shelley)))
I had some very desperate times when I begged Bob to send me a sign. I thought the reason(s) I wasn't getting any was b/c I had done something that offended him or could have done better in our marriage. I beat myself up - berated myself mercilessly. I tried every suggestion to no avail. Of course, it was once again my fault b/c I could not calm myself or I didn't do this, that or the other. Then one day I was just livid & came to realize Bob should be able to send signs no matter if I was catatonic or hysterical or whatever. It was like breaking through a barrier - waking up. Most all signs I receive from Bob are about me - my likes that put a smile on my face & dislikes that make me laugh at myself or they're about the kids ...
It can happen as well as be different for everyone ...
I believe our loved ones are always w/us whether we can detect them or recognize their signs. I came to believe they are filled w/love & peace - no negative energy such as anger or resentment ...

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 7, 2018 at 10:41pm

(((Hugs Maggie)))
Signs can be difficult to recognize no matter if one is right in your face. In the weeks following Bob's death, I noticed a light blue BMW Z8 in my fondness for James Bond movies. It seemed like every time I left home I saw one - I didn't think much of it till it seemed like everyone in the city was driving a 1999 BMW Z8 on the same day even when they were different colors. That's when I had to shout out, "I finally get it - thanks for waking me up!" ...
One thing I that might be helpful to know is that I was raised Catholic - I was trained to look for signs from God on a daily basis - which I have continued to develop throughout my life as a spiritualist. Awareness of signs can be developed at any time ...
I've read of widows who began to receive/recognize signs years later ...

Blessings ...

Comment by shelley on May 6, 2018 at 1:03pm

Maggie, My husband and I had been arguing before he died, we were sort of disconnected, making mountains out of molehills.  And when I felt only a bottomless pit after he died, no connection at all, I also felt that he had stopped loving me and moved on.  It was heartbreaking.  

Comment by Maggie on May 6, 2018 at 12:30pm

My husband has been dead almost 5 years and nothing..ever. No sign at all. But we were both not religious and didn't believe in an after life. Realistically I know he's just gone, but part of me also feels he no longer loved me, as we had some issues the last few years. It sounds crazy , but I always hoped for a sign and nothing. It breaks my heart.

Comment by shelley on May 6, 2018 at 10:48am

Mike, My husband and I were very close and for about a year before his death we were practicing 'telepathic' communication.  We tried little things- suggesting a phone call, picking up something at the grocery store, a crossword puzzle answer.  It often worked and we laughed about it.  And after John died, I did everything to try to summon his presence- religious rituals, meditations, etc.  I was sure he would come to me-  we had been so close, we were communicating telepathically!  And nothing.  One early morning as I got out of bed to head to the bathroom, I thought I saw him for a split second getting out of his recliner.  But that was it.  I also felt as if John had 'vanished'.  It was a tough feeling to deal with- that he was totally gone.  Something changed for me at almost six months, I'm sure I felt his presence for a split second.  But before that-  just want to acknowledge that I know the feeling of the chasm.  I wish you continued success in dealing with your loss.  

Comment by Mike on May 6, 2018 at 9:30am

I want everyone to understand that I am not trying to say that their loved ones have  come back.  I realize  I can’t prove a negative and that was not the intent of my post.  I am truly happy that people are finding signs that their loved ones are around and helping them and that it gives them peace.  As I said in my original post I’m not trying to deny what people feel or experience. It’s just a description of what has occurred for me. We all work through this grief in our own way and I respect everyone’s beliefs. 

Comment by Barzan on May 6, 2018 at 7:26am

I am not a religious person but consider myself spiritual.  I believe that you cannot deny what you don't know.  I do have a few examples of my late husband's presence in my life.  About a year after he passed, he woke me up around midnight and spoke in my head (sounds crazy, but am not) and told me to go close the garage door.  I got up and to my surprise the garage door was open.  I had forgotten to close it when I got home in the afternoon.  Another incident was talking me  through on how to take down the smoke alarm, change batteries and replace and test.  I had never done this before and with his direction, I did it like I had done it hundreds of times.  There are other examples but won't bore you.  

I also believe that my grieving process and healing has been positively impacted by feeling his presence.  Like Slick points out that no one has to agree or disagree.

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 5, 2018 at 6:21pm

Hi Mike,
Creationism is a major part of healing for a great many people rather then the natural processes of evolution ...
Either one or both can help w/the answers for death. For myself, I found a greater comfort w/spirituality than I ever could w/evolution or the forensics report. The fact that Bob had been murdered as well as the top & back of his head torn off was far too much too bare. I sought solace in my spiritual beliefs - it was the major contributor in my healing for accepting truth & reality. It took time, of course I had to work my anger w/God down in the trenches first before I could set on my quest for peace & serenity ...
Almost 11 years later, the disconnected house alarm still flashes whenever Bob is around ...
Whatever works!

Comment by Mike on May 3, 2018 at 4:12am

It has been about four months for me now and I get no feelings or sensations or whatever that my wife is near or trying to soothe me or anything like that. I am happy for the people who do and realize the peace it must bring. As for me I live in the same house we shared for almost thirty years and it’s as if she has vanished. We had a good and loving relationship. If she wanted to make her presence known then an empty house should be ideal. I am alright with this. I don’t believe in an after life and knowing she is gone forever, while it hurts tremendously, has actually helped me to accept her death and move on. I know this isn’t the common feeling on these posts, and I’m not trying to deny what people feel or experience. It’s just a description of what has occurred for me. 

 

Members (728)

 
 
 

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service