Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Information

Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

Members: 726
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by shelley Sep 15. 10 Replies

Anyone experiencing loneliness?

Started by bblue5. Last reply by bblue5 Sep 13. 6 Replies

Dating

Started by Mike. Last reply by Athena53 Aug 28. 19 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Born in the 50s to add comments!

Comment by Barzan on May 10, 2018 at 3:03pm

Shelley - I just feel it and know it's from my husband.  Sometimes, I'll just mentally answer a question or an affirmation without thinking.  Basically, you just need to be open to it.  It may feel like someone has their hand on you and you feel soothed.  It is a different experience for everyone.

By the way, today would have been our 38th wedding anniversary.  I did feel his presence.

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 10, 2018 at 2:58pm

Hi Shelley,
Its all in the way I rationalized them ...
I have never received profound meaningful signs from God, angels or spirit guides that were deeply personal & immediately grabbed my attention as those from Bob.
One of my old grief buddies believed all her signs came from God. It was helpful for her in being able to remarry.
There were "our" songs played on the radio from the 70s - always. Many were simply found. The first ones were pennies (like the book Pennies from Heaven) all over the house for us to find - in closets, upstairs water heater closet, attic, all 3 bathrooms, behind vents (we were painting), hallways, in kitchen cabinets, on the stairs, garage. As we were preparing to leave SD, we found a bucket full of weathered pennies on the same beach path we had walked for days. When we returned home, my son found sandwich bags filled w/pennies at the park across the street. Since we not accustomed to receiving signs, we questioned one another as well as the friends that were w/the kids except those we found together.
Then it was screwdrivers. Bob always said he wanted to be buried w/a screwdriver in his right hand. The kids & I have found over 26 screwdrivers in or around our house- a couple in parking lots.
Our wedding flowers - a particular type of lily appears on TV on our anniversary - on one anniversary on the same day I found a sheet of Easter Seals w/our lillies outside a store, saw them on TV, had them placed on our restaurant dinner table after we sat down & found one on our a walking path.
I found a figurine of Joan of Arc in the dirt out in the mesa. Bob called me that for silly reasons ...
And so many many many more ...
The one thing you have to remember is I'm almost 11 years out, I've had many signs over that time. They didn't come quickly even when I was desperately begging, crying, screaming & asking Bob in prayer to send them. I first recognized them when I was angry one day, then nothing for weeks. Try to be patient or just put it out of your mind so that you don't beat yourself up from not getting any. And when you do receive a sign - simply interpret as he is w/you. Reading more into can make you crazy ...
It will happen regardless of when you became open to signs ...
Blessings ...

BTW, my cousin had an Easter Lily bloom on Christmas Day in the snow - we all went to see it. My other cousin shouted at her dead husband for not sending her anything. I had to laugh, then I mumbled hmmm & also thought Bob-O should buck up ... :-)

Comment by shelley on May 10, 2018 at 1:19pm

SweetMelissa2007, How do you know if the signs are from God or your lost loved one?

Comment by Pointbass on May 8, 2018 at 5:30am

My late wife, Bunny, had written an email to me that was still in her draft file, unsent. The email had been written the very last night she was at home, just before her final hospitalization. In her email, she said she knew it was the end of the line, that I shouldn’t be alone, and that she would send me signs ... but I was going to have to look for them and recognize the signs when I saw them, not just fluff them off. I didn’t find this email until two months after she passed away, coincidentally on the night before her memorial service!

i think her presence is always with me, in some form, as is the case with my wife Sheila and her deceased husband, Frank.  We firmly believe that both Bunny and Frank were instrumental in our meeting each other and ultimately marrying ... there are too many highly unusual circumstances (or signs, if you prefer) that never would have happened without their intervention. Many of those signs were undeniable, in our case, making it almost impossible not to see where they came from.

Both Sheila snd I have lost sons, as well, a sad common bond that we share. In those cases, months went by before we felt any sort of presence from our children. I believe we all experience these things in our own way, in our own time tables, different from those others who share our feelings of loss. But if we remain open to the possibilities, and also recognize signs when they are presented, those we lost will be there to guide us through. 

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 7, 2018 at 10:50pm

(((Shelley)))
I had some very desperate times when I begged Bob to send me a sign. I thought the reason(s) I wasn't getting any was b/c I had done something that offended him or could have done better in our marriage. I beat myself up - berated myself mercilessly. I tried every suggestion to no avail. Of course, it was once again my fault b/c I could not calm myself or I didn't do this, that or the other. Then one day I was just livid & came to realize Bob should be able to send signs no matter if I was catatonic or hysterical or whatever. It was like breaking through a barrier - waking up. Most all signs I receive from Bob are about me - my likes that put a smile on my face & dislikes that make me laugh at myself or they're about the kids ...
It can happen as well as be different for everyone ...
I believe our loved ones are always w/us whether we can detect them or recognize their signs. I came to believe they are filled w/love & peace - no negative energy such as anger or resentment ...

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 7, 2018 at 10:41pm

(((Hugs Maggie)))
Signs can be difficult to recognize no matter if one is right in your face. In the weeks following Bob's death, I noticed a light blue BMW Z8 in my fondness for James Bond movies. It seemed like every time I left home I saw one - I didn't think much of it till it seemed like everyone in the city was driving a 1999 BMW Z8 on the same day even when they were different colors. That's when I had to shout out, "I finally get it - thanks for waking me up!" ...
One thing I that might be helpful to know is that I was raised Catholic - I was trained to look for signs from God on a daily basis - which I have continued to develop throughout my life as a spiritualist. Awareness of signs can be developed at any time ...
I've read of widows who began to receive/recognize signs years later ...

Blessings ...

Comment by shelley on May 6, 2018 at 1:03pm

Maggie, My husband and I had been arguing before he died, we were sort of disconnected, making mountains out of molehills.  And when I felt only a bottomless pit after he died, no connection at all, I also felt that he had stopped loving me and moved on.  It was heartbreaking.  

Comment by Maggie on May 6, 2018 at 12:30pm

My husband has been dead almost 5 years and nothing..ever. No sign at all. But we were both not religious and didn't believe in an after life. Realistically I know he's just gone, but part of me also feels he no longer loved me, as we had some issues the last few years. It sounds crazy , but I always hoped for a sign and nothing. It breaks my heart.

Comment by shelley on May 6, 2018 at 10:48am

Mike, My husband and I were very close and for about a year before his death we were practicing 'telepathic' communication.  We tried little things- suggesting a phone call, picking up something at the grocery store, a crossword puzzle answer.  It often worked and we laughed about it.  And after John died, I did everything to try to summon his presence- religious rituals, meditations, etc.  I was sure he would come to me-  we had been so close, we were communicating telepathically!  And nothing.  One early morning as I got out of bed to head to the bathroom, I thought I saw him for a split second getting out of his recliner.  But that was it.  I also felt as if John had 'vanished'.  It was a tough feeling to deal with- that he was totally gone.  Something changed for me at almost six months, I'm sure I felt his presence for a split second.  But before that-  just want to acknowledge that I know the feeling of the chasm.  I wish you continued success in dealing with your loss.  

Comment by Mike on May 6, 2018 at 9:30am

I want everyone to understand that I am not trying to say that their loved ones have  come back.  I realize  I can’t prove a negative and that was not the intent of my post.  I am truly happy that people are finding signs that their loved ones are around and helping them and that it gives them peace.  As I said in my original post I’m not trying to deny what people feel or experience. It’s just a description of what has occurred for me. We all work through this grief in our own way and I respect everyone’s beliefs. 

 

Members (725)

 
 
 

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service