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Born in the 50s

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Members: 726
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Discussion Forum

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by shelley Sep 15. 10 Replies

Anyone experiencing loneliness?

Started by bblue5. Last reply by bblue5 Sep 13. 6 Replies


Started by Mike. Last reply by Athena53 Aug 28. 19 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Shoosie2 on May 16, 2018 at 2:10pm

LOL Shelley!  You know what older fat kitties look like? They have the sagging tummy that swings under their abdomen?  It's called a fat pad.   I used to tell my Rick  'don't touch my fat-pad!'  He'd just laugh and tickle me anyway.  I read your recent post in another discussion, and I too have found that instead of relaxing after work with a glass of wine, I too am drinking way too much alcohol, mostly wine, as it also knocks me out so I don't have stay awake too long at night.

This has just been a crappy day all around, and I can tell you right now, I'll be having my bottle of wine tonight with NO guilt.  His old truck, which the tree faller wants to buy, needed to be smogged and registered for the year. This huge GMC 4X4 was Rick's darling. In the UK, a big truck is a tiny Toyota pickup. He bought the GMC 2 days after we moved back to the US, and he loved 'Arnie'- named for Schwarzenegger. 

I knew there would be problems as it's now 23 years old. I took it through smog with no actual pass. I needed a new catalytic converter. OK, drove it back home up the mountain last night, then back down again today to get the work done. They called me at work, converter done, but guess what?  There are holes in the muffler, which also means it won't pass smog, and there is a hole in the water pump, too. They said for tonight, they can put an epoxy in the hole in the water pump until it gets replaced tomorrow. Just great.

I think OK, I'll just rent a car, which will be less wear and tear on Arnie. There are 2 rental car agencies in this little town- NO cars available! One of my co-workers offered to drive me home so I can get the other car, but that would leave me with 2 cars here at work.   So tomorrow, the muffler and water pump get put on , then back to the smog test, and pray it passes after throwing another $600.00 at a truck that's going to be sold. And here's the kicker that hit me...........there's no one, i.e. Rick, to help me with this.

I just feel so alone, and I am, and it sucks. I'll get through this, and will feel good about myself  for taking care of all of this mechanical truck work. But that won't happen until tomorrow. I'm going to splurge and reward myself for being  'tough' and get a really good old vine Merlot for tonight....I deserve it!

Peace to us all


Comment by Seashell on May 16, 2018 at 1:43pm

Sometimes it feels as though something is moving across the bed. I look for the cat but he is nowhere to be seen. One evening the cat was going crazy and chasing something on the wall. Other times it will feel like an icy finger touching my skin. Most times it is just a sense of knowing that he is there.

Comment by shelley on May 16, 2018 at 11:00am

Barzan, I'm so jealous.  Would give anything to feel that not even all the time, but some times.  Spooning-  such a treasure.  Miss it so much.  To no avail, I would tell my husband not to rest his hand on my paunchy stomach.  He would say, 'I love your paunchy stomach'.  

Comment by Barzan on May 16, 2018 at 7:18am

Shelley and all,

Last night I had trouble falling asleep and kept thinking how much I've missed being held.  It'll be 7 years in a few weeks that my husband passed.  I thought my cat had cozied up against my back but realized he was on the other side.  It had to be my husband spooning and suddenly I felt so peaceful and drifted off to sleep.  

Comment by shelley on May 15, 2018 at 9:28pm

SweetMelissa2007, just re-read your post about signs.  I've read it so many times.  It makes me feel hopeful.  And I'm having a very hard night.  Thank you.  

Comment by Barzan on May 11, 2018 at 5:35am

SweetMelissa, Sandi and Beth,

We are the lucky ones who can feel the presence of our husbands.  I don't want anyone else who hasn't experienced it to feel bad, it may have happened to all of you but you may not have recognized it.  Some of us are very sensitive to such things.  It's like singing - some can and others can't carry a tune.  

Animals are very receptive to spirits.  My cat, Milo, will suddenly stare at nothing.  I know that it's my Barney.   

I'm going to ask him to send me a companion because I'm not out looking and would love to have someone to stories and laughter, perhaps some travel.  We'll call it an experiment in spiritual matchmaking.

Comment by Beth on May 10, 2018 at 6:25pm

I have had signs also....I felt my husband move from his side of the bed to mine....I saw his three initials in a concrete sidewalk in Cape Cod,while other initials in entire sidewalk. He collected soaps from hotels, I kept one before giving the others to a shelter. Opened it one night only to find a penny inside. Who puts a penny into a hotel bar of soap?? So, I felt it was him. The smoke alarm goes off at intermittent times..checked it...all functioning. I said to God and hubby...if anyone man is to enter my life, you had best send him because I am SO not looking!! Now, a,man has entered who makes me laugh...double over type laughter...just like my husband....totally wrong for me on some levels so will enjoy the laughter until......

Comment by sandi on May 10, 2018 at 4:37pm

Barzan, loved your story BOUT SIGNS.  For me its been feathers..lots of them.  Last year at camp I asked my husband to send me a feather every day as a sign that he was there with me.  By the end of summer I had a bag full.  I used them this past Christmas to make dreamcatchers for my children and grandkids.  Now that winter is over I went to camp this week to open up. Again I asked hubby to start sending me feathers. I went for a walk and there was a huge EAGLE FEATHER!  My bday was this past Saturday.  As I was sitting looking out the window crying, I said honey I miss you more than I can bear.  All of a sudden a cardinal lands on the bush right outside my window.  So, I too believe in signs.

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on May 10, 2018 at 4:29pm

Barzan, thanks for the reminder ...
I also "feel" Bob or his presence ...
Bob touched me once when I was in a hysterical state - scared the freakin- begeezus out of me. I yelled at him to never do it again unless I gave the okay. Now, its on special occassions, holidays & anniversaries. The kids have mentioned they have felt Dad's presence on their birthdays.

Another tip that might be helpful is if you have a dog. Watch for any unusual behavior. Our Ruberoo would run & bark at the front door at pre-dawn hours - spirits are said to visit during those hours. She would also stare as if she was looking at someone or bark at nothing w/her head up directed to an area or bark at his clothing or other belongings. She did all them till she died 7 years later.
Ruberoo & I also had a nightly tug-of-war over Bob's pillow - 7 years of fighting w/her! Odd thing is, she & Bob didn't care much for eachother - when he came home on the weekends it was the battle for top dog position. Ruberoo was an alpha female Miniature Pinscher ...

Comment by Barzan on May 10, 2018 at 4:15pm

Thanks Slick.  I kept busy today but allowed only the happy memories in.  June 13 (will be in Philly) is the day he passed and that one is truly difficult.


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