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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the 50s

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Members: 728
Latest Activity: on Sunday

Discussion Forum

Dating

Started by Mike. Last reply by Athena53 on Sunday. 20 Replies

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter Oct 6. 13 Replies

Anyone experiencing loneliness?

Started by bblue5. Last reply by bblue5 Sep 13. 6 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by Barzan on July 1, 2018 at 1:43pm

Wow Shelley!  That sent chills up my spine.  I don't think it was a coincidence.  I really feel he was sending a message.  Perhaps he's telling you he's passed on but still with you.  

Last week, I kept feeling like my husband was trying to convey something to me.  Then I was thinking of his best friend since they were young boys and his friend's wife.  Then last night, I got a call from his wife saying that he had passed away last week.  I truly believe that there is communication on some level and we just need to be open and accepting.

Shelley, he's there with you spiritually and in your heart.  Hang on to that.

Comment by shelley on July 1, 2018 at 1:11pm

I had a dream this morning about my husband.  I don't dream about him very often and when I do, I can see him in the dream but he doesn't speak or move.  I talk to him, touch him, feel close to him, but he doesn't respond.  He's just a body.  In this dream, I was at my childhood home in Syracuse, New York and I was doing household chores-  washing the dishes, etc.  Then suddenly I was upstairs in my bedroom and my husband was there in my bed.  Just his body.  Just sitting there.  Then I was back downstairs telling my Mom that I had to be with John because he was leaving soon.  I went back upstairs to my room, got in bed next to John, and told him that I didn't want him to go, but if he had to, I wanted to spend every possible second with him.  I said that I wanted to curl up inside him forever.  I can still see him just sitting there in bed not moving, not saying anything, looking straight ahead.  When I woke up, I tried hard to go back to the dream but couldn't.  I got up, walked the dogs, etc and when I opened my computer-  there was John's obituary from Legacy.com.  I hadn't gone to any web sites, hadn't checked my emails, nothing.  And there was John's smiling face on my computer.  With Legacy.com asking me if I wanted to send flowers.  I've been crying ever since.  Can't stop.  

Comment by Melissa on June 29, 2018 at 11:50am

I'm so sorry, Wood. I know how much it hurts.

Comment by WoodTurner on June 29, 2018 at 11:34am

Thanks Barzan.

Comment by Barzan on June 29, 2018 at 5:50am

Hello Wood,  Welcome to our group.  This is not a journey any one of us wants to be on but comforting to know you have a place where you can share your grief to those who understand.  So sorry for the loss of your wife.  Your grief is very raw.  As I think back 7 years, I can imagine your pain.

Comment by WoodTurner on June 29, 2018 at 5:36am

Hi all. Just joined after losing my wife in May.

Comment by Barzan on June 27, 2018 at 5:15am

Thanks Mike.  I just signed up for Widows and Widowers.  Always good  to have access to several avenues of support.  

Comment by Mike on June 27, 2018 at 4:34am

This is a great group and has helped me a lot. For those of you on Facebook there is another group wihich I find helpful. It is Widows and Widowers, All Welcomed. I find this group helpful also. The link is below :

https://www.facebook.com/groups/347795365429216/

Comment by NoLongerInBergenJC on June 25, 2018 at 12:54pm

@Lioness:  I always remind myself that I had given up on ever finding someone to spend my life with literally the day before I met my husband.  And I never dreamed that day that we would ever even go on a date, never mind spend 30 years together.  No, it wasn't all moonlight and roses, and the last ten years were hard sometimes (I now know that a lot of this was what was going on in his brain, but I couldn't know then).  But I am so grateful that I had it, especially when I think about what I thought my life would be like just the day before I met him.

Comment by Lioness on June 25, 2018 at 11:04am

Yes I can relate to that so much. A close friend who is in an unhappy marriage for 30 years reminded me the other day that I was so lucky to have been in a wonderful loving relationship for 28 years with my husband, while she had spent all her married life wishing she was not married to a deadbeat. She reminded me that I still had all the happy memories of our time together, and focused me on that instead of the pain of missing him. I am 5 years without him, and miss him every day. I recently found a group for widows and widowers that share social events, not a matchmaking group, but a safe place to be social. We'll see how it goes, but hope to make some new friends who understand the pain of losing the love of my life, and are open with sharing stories, as well as laughter. I feel lucky to have found this group, a couple hundred widows and widowers.  There are do many people in this world who have lost their lives, we are truly not alone as we struggle to find new life and meaning. 

 

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