This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

Members: 740
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum


Started by Mike. Last reply by Alysoun Nov 30, 2018. 24 Replies

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter Oct 6, 2018. 13 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Born in the 50s to add comments!

Comment by LP on August 29, 2018 at 9:42am

All of us here recognise that- the pointlessness of everything, the. Absoluteness of death, how the one thing we want more than anything - the return of our loved one -  will never come true. It is all so very painful, and the feeling of loss will never go away because our loved ones are gone forever. But I think the most recent thinking on bereavement is helpful - it says the loss never diminishes but that your life grows around it. In rime, new life experiences will not lessen the loss but will give us something else to think about. 

Comment by riet on August 29, 2018 at 9:28am

 Today everything I do seems pointless without my husband. I feel completely numb and lack energy for anything.

I wished so much he was still with me.  But he isn't, he isn't.

Comment by shelley on August 29, 2018 at 8:44am

I talk to my husband all the time.

Comment by NancyD on August 29, 2018 at 8:26am

I talk to my husband a little bit, too.  Sometimes I'm very aware of his "presence"  and I do feel like he sometimes communicates with me.  Mostly he "tells" me that he is OK, that I needn't worry so much, that I am doing just fine and making good decisions, that he is still loving me.  It makes me cry and it also is very reassuring.  I don't share this with many people in my daily life for fear they might think I am "hearing voices" (!!!) but I feel comfortable talking about it here.  I'm sure some of you have this kind of experience, too.

MsWizard, don't be afraid to cry.  And don't be worried---You won't cry 24/7 for the rest of your life!  It seemed like that in the beginning for me, but it has turned out not to be true.  And the tears did and DO help.

Comment by LP on August 29, 2018 at 6:23am

Talking to my husband is very comforting. I do it all the time. I don’t care who thinks I’m crazy- I do whatever gets me through the day. I talk to his pictures, I talk to him as though he were standing next to me, and it helps me cope. 

Yesterday was 6 months to the day. I really hate this, but there is nothing i can do about time passing. 

Comment by Tekwriter on August 29, 2018 at 4:55am

MsWizard I don't care if anyone thinks I am crazy I talk to my husband. It helps me. When it is at its worst I talk to him and it helps.

Comment by shelley on August 27, 2018 at 12:42pm

I've been crying so hard for so many days, too exhausted to do anything else, missing John so much.  And then this morning I woke up not quite so sad.  What a roller coaster.  And I really, really really hate roller coasters.  

Comment by chef (John) on August 27, 2018 at 12:30pm

Go ahead and cry, MsWizard.

Keep reading and posting. Believe it or not, doing both will help.

Comment by Melissa on August 27, 2018 at 11:55am

MsWizard, please allow yourself to cry. You will cry hard and long and loud, and when you stop, you can rest. There are toxins in grief tears. Crying will make you feel better. In the early days after my husband's death, I'd cry so hard I'd vomit. The neighbors could hear me cry. I cried and cried and cried. I cried so much my eyelids blistered.

But when the crying stopped, I would sleep a restorative, restful, deep sleep. I felt more able to cope. Now, 10 months later, I still cry almost every day. It's a different kind of crying, though. It's not as intense; it's a gentler crying, and it doesn't last long.

Know that we are all here with you, walking beside you. You are not alone.

Comment by Tess on August 27, 2018 at 2:38am

MsWizard, I am so very sorry. I know that feeling of being severed from the one you love and shared feelings and talks with with. It can feel so very lonely. I still have times that I feel I just want to talk with my husband and no other will do.

Please know that tears help. Let them out. I still cry nearly every morning at the prospect of this life without my husband and will never apologize for that. If it takes a couple of hours, so be it. It needs to come out, so don't suppress the tears.



Members (740)


© 2019   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service