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Born in the 50s

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Discussion Forum


Started by Mike. Last reply by Alysoun Nov 30, 2018. 24 Replies

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter Oct 6, 2018. 13 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Barzan on December 5, 2018 at 7:18am

It's been 7 years and I still find it hard to decorate for Christmas.  It's a joyous holiday that I find no joy in.  Kind of feel like a zombie going through the motions.  

I volunteer for the Holiday gift market and give an open house party every year.  I get together with friends and family around the holiday but just can't muster up the holiday spirit.  

If only he were still here.  

Comment by Allan_sch on December 5, 2018 at 6:50am

This will be the first anniversary, Christmas and New year without my wife of 31 years 

i think about her everyday. Having trouble getting the Christmas tree decorations up

she loved celebrating the holidays with the family. I’m trying to live up to her Traditions

Comment by Tekwriter on December 5, 2018 at 5:47am

I have made plans for Christmas, and accepted we will have to carry on for New Years eve, but I am so dreading seeing the beginning of a new year without my husband by my side for the first time inn 36 years. It has been since May 3rd and people are probably tired of me by now but it seems like such a small amount of time to me.

Comment by wildflower on December 3, 2018 at 4:19pm

Susan I can relate to your post.  Missing my husband this sixth Christmas season also. It is hard to comprehend that I have hit the fifth year mark.  Sending hugs your way.  ((hugs))

Comment by booktime (Susan) on December 3, 2018 at 2:03pm

I am finding myself feeling more this Christmas season. It is my sixth without Ed. I am not necessarily sad but just feeling the absence of him. I hold onto how lucky I was to have loved and been loved. Can't go further than that. I guess I just miss him. I even came across something the other day which would have been a perfect gift for him!

I will be with my siblings if the weather allows it. Staying two nights with my brother with my niece hosting a big Christmas Eve. If the weather doesn't allow it, there might be a Plan B but I don't know. I just hope it will be good travelling!

Hugs to all. We will get through this. I'm sorry so many have to do this.

Comment by Melissa on December 3, 2018 at 1:47pm

I know, riet. Everything is happy families and kisses in the snow and happy, happy, happy. I'm so sad and tired I can't bear it. You are not alone. You have us. We are our own family, one that no one wants to be a member of, but one that always understands. When we can't say it anywhere else, we can say it here. Please take extra care of yourself. My husband's birthday is in 10 days, then two weeks after that is Christmas, and I will be alone. I keep reminding myself that I'll get past it and January 1st will come.

I wish you peace and comfort, dear riet.

Comment by Barzan on December 3, 2018 at 10:40am

This time of year is very trying for all of us.  Even the Christmas carols are about joy and family sharing the holiday spirit.  These songs are not sung for us.  I will put on my holiday face and live through it as I have done for 7 years.  I think about our traditions that died with him.  

I know that what we here feel needs to be kept hidden from our family and friends.  Out of love for them, I don’t wish them to suffer with me.  I will start each day saying something that I am grateful for and hope that my mood by Christmas Day will rise to the occasion.

hugs to all,


Comment by riet on December 3, 2018 at 10:18am

This song reminds me of our beautiful time together. Unfortunately, it is now over. Sometimes I think I can continue with this reality. Nothing is less true. The Christmas preparations in the houses around make me so angry. How can people decorate their homes if my dearest is no longer there. Next week is his birthday. Our children and I will certainly celebrate it, but it will be a bittter sweet experience. My grief is as bad as the day when he died. I wish I could hide away in a hibernation to avoid these sad days. My husband would not allow this. He wanted to be a cheerful family together. And always asked me to continue this tradition. And then asked to think again of "that old fool". How could he say that? He is not a moment out of my mind. I read somewhere: grief comes and goes like the waves in the sea. For me the sea is now very stormy. Rarely did I feel so exhausted.

Comment by Melissa on December 1, 2018 at 3:17pm

Thank you for this, LP.

I love The King and I, and this song has always made me teary. Now that I'm a widow, I understand Anna better.

Comment by LP on December 1, 2018 at 1:07pm

On another note, for us who were born in the 1950s, here’s a link to a video of a song that has always brought me to tears in a happy/sad way since we did this musical at school in the 70s. Little did I know then how true it would ring for me now. My nephew in Texas has just told me that he intends to propose to his girlfriend early next before they visit me here in England. Whenever I hear of young people setting out, I wish them all the happiness that Chris and I had. Here’s the song - Hello Yong Lovers from the musical The King and I, where the widow Anna remembers her husband.


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