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Born in the 50s

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Members: 738
Latest Activity: 4 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Dating

Started by Mike. Last reply by Alysoun Nov 30, 2018. 24 Replies

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter Oct 6, 2018. 13 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by CarLady on December 13, 2018 at 11:38am

Today is my birthday.  Bill always made sure there was cake and a nice meal, and the kids were here. I’m alone today because I’ve come down with a cold & cough and don’t want anyone else to get it 12 days before Christmas.  My daughter and son-in-law are out of country until New Years so my son offered to come over but I nixed it. I’ve had phone calls and just received a lovely bouquet of red roses with baby’s breath.  I’m spending my birthday in my sweats sipping soup and tea. It’s for the best.  Next year will be a milestone birthday and we’ll go all out.   

Comment by Melissa on December 13, 2018 at 11:27am

My husband would have been 63 today. He always called his birthday The International Day of Joy and Revelry. He loved birthdays because that meant he made it through another year and got smarter and stronger than he was the year before.

It's really quiet around here today. I'm thinking about you, Riet, and sending hugs.

Comment by Allan_sch on December 13, 2018 at 5:54am

Yesterday would have been my 31 Anniversary and tomorrow is 7 month  from when my wife passed away. sure miss her. Christmas will never be the same 

Comment by Tekwriter on December 13, 2018 at 4:46am

We have finally reach the end of process with our home mortgage. The military marches at their own beat and it has been long. We are closing this week or early next week. The date is tomorrow, but I don't know if they can get a lawyer that quick. I hope so.

Comment by riet on December 12, 2018 at 10:09pm

Today is his birthday. He would be 74 years if this terrible glioblastoma had not taken him away from us.
Sorry, I had to call this out loud.
I have just returned from the hospital. I am well taken care of. But what a joy it would have been today with him.
We always made a special day for the two of us.
Walking, a bit of shopping and a nice restaurant.
All over. And in fact, I do not need these things. Just him.

Comment by shelley on December 12, 2018 at 8:38pm

It's been 13 months for me and sometimes, just for a split second, I forget that he's gone.  I'll think, 'I better finish this, John will be home soon' or 'I haven't heard from John, I wonder what's going on' or 'I'm almost done, can't wait to be with John'.  It's just a moment, when I think I'll be with him.  But it's a really, really great moment.  

Comment by shelley on December 11, 2018 at 6:48pm

Melissa.  Ditto.  

Comment by Tess on December 11, 2018 at 4:41am

I had to weigh in on this fascinating "why am I here topic" as well. I think about this every moment of every day. I too had a husband that was an alcoholic and on a self-destructive path. That really never stopped, but his family credited me with giving him love and direction. He certainly gave purpose and meaning to my life as well. Maybe that is what made my losing him so hard. But it served as direction for me all those years.

If I think about my life now, I realize that for over a year now I have been making the day of my sister who has dementia. I cook for her every Wednesday (something I had to learn to do, as my husband was my chief cook and bottle-washer before his death). It seems insignificant when I look at my total contribution to her, but if I reflect on it, I am doing something that adds value to someone else's life. That I love.

I want to do more for others and there are ample opportunities in the church and in the community. I have to choose carefully though because there is an assumption with many causes that the givers have disposable income to contribute. I am not in that category.

A sense of purpose doesn't always need to be a grand gesture, just needed and appreciated.

Thanks for opening this topic all. Hugs.

Comment by Maggie on December 11, 2018 at 3:58am

I don’t have a sense of purpose at all, but I’m not particularly depresuabout it. It’s going on 6 yrs for me and I have a new life and I’m fairly content, but no purpose. No new man....don’t want one.

i say do whatever makes you happy or at least content. For some it’s grandchildren, hobbies, reading books, friends or volunteering. It doesn’t have to be much. Besides having a partner, what made you happy before?

even when I was married, I didn’t necessarily feel I had a purpose other than a companion for him. I actually do more now than I did then, but then I’ve been forced to.

truth is we’re all just biding our time...I just try to enjoy it for what it is...my favorite thing is going out to dinner with friends and having a drink and good conversation.

life is really simple...just let it be.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on December 11, 2018 at 3:51am

I too thought about why I was still here and it's becoming clearer. I thought it was to work as long as I could but now I know I want to really enjoy life without the constriction of work. With 6 months to go before I retire, I have a lot to do there still but my mind is already thinking ahead to when I don't go to work. It does not scare me. I feel I have a lot to do: my weaving and spinning, exercising, meeting up with friends during the week (!), traveling with one or two sisters, and eventually volunteering somewhere in my community. If a sweet little part time job comes along, that would be good too.

I thank my mother for helping me to figure out why I was still here. She was 89 when my dad died, mostly blind, and wanted to stay in her home. She showed me how to thrive, not just survive. She died when she was 96 at home and at peace with her life, She missed my dad probably every day but she surrounded herself with friends, family, art, literature, and conversation, the livelier the better.

And ultimately, Ed would be happy to know that I am OK. I promised him that after all!

And Bergen, I so related to your post! When I married Ed, he was still a smoker, had been a heavy drinker, and probably other stuff too. I often heard from his family that marrying me was the best thing. When he was diagnosed with cancer in 2003, he often told me that had he not married me, he would most likely have died a lot sooner as he didn't exactly take care of himself! So that may have been my purpose as well!

Hugs to all.

 

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