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Born in the 50s

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Comment by shelley on December 25, 2018 at 10:26pm

Heading to bed.  Made it through Christmas with only minimal crying and breakdowns.  Year two of widowhood is really, really awful. 

Comment by Melissa on December 25, 2018 at 10:59am

That's a wonderful idea, Suzan. I think I will do that. Tekwriter, I understand. I'm shocked when I look in the mirror. I've aged 20 years in the last year. I don't know how to smile the way I did when Gilbert was alive. Sending you hugs and strength to help you through the rest of Christmas.

Comment by Barzan on December 25, 2018 at 5:43am

Tekwriter,  My thoughts are with you and sending you a virtual hug.  It will get a little easier each year.  I'm passed the 7 year mark.  I miss him like crazy still.  Your husband and mine would not have us feeling so sad.  I always keep that in mind.  I suggest you write him a letter and do so every year.  Tell him how your year was and what you've done.  Save them.  As you reread them each year, you will see how you've grown into your new normal.  


Comment by Tekwriter on December 25, 2018 at 5:20am

We made it through Christmas Eve and are up to Christmas day. So far so good. I have cried enough the last week to get me through I hope. I was looking at pictures. The day my husband passed I had gone in the  morning to have blue streaks put in my hair and after taking him lunch and showing him I took pictures when I got home. There is a dividing line there. All the life and happy has left my face. I cannot smile all the way anymore and have deep lines beside my mouth now. It is weird to see pictures side by side.

Comment by on December 21, 2018 at 12:28pm

Like you, Lostandsad, my 32nd Anniversary was yesterday and Thanksgiving Day was the fourth year of my husbands passing. A horribly hard season but not unbearable. It has gotten marginally easier each year. I’m doing just what you all are. Trying to fit in with family, making new memories. Old traditions are definitely out of the picture. Sad moments and longing for my love, but hoping God will see me through. Big hugs and wishes for peace e and comfort to you all.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on December 20, 2018 at 4:42pm

My heart does ache for all of you.

I am in a good place this Christmas - the 6th without Ed and the 2nd not at my mom's. I will be with my siblings and numerous nieces and nephews. New traditions are being born this year. I miss what was but look forward to these new configurations of family in new homes.

I know there will be moments when we will all acknowledge our dear ones no longer with us: my brother's wife, our parents, Ed. But many more moments as we fold into our family new members of the family. My little grand-niece.

Hugs to all.

Comment by Melissa on December 20, 2018 at 4:32pm

My heart breaks for us all. You have all been in my thoughts, my brothers and sisters on this horrible journey. Somehow, we will get through Christmas, because that's what we do. We get through things. We endure things. I suppose we get stronger every time we conquer one of these challenges, and we learn how to not just survive, but to live.

That's what I'm told by women who have been widows much longer than I. It won't always be so hard. Hugs to you all.

Comment by Barzan on December 20, 2018 at 3:54pm

Riet, Muns and LP,  It's been 7.5 years since my husband passed and the joy of Christmas still has not returned.  It gets a bit easier but the traditions died with him.  I'm lost at trying to create new ones because it just will not be the same.  I feel you pain and the deep sadness in your hearts. We will just put on our smiles and go through the motion for the family.  

Virtual hugs and support to all of you.


Comment by LostandSad on December 20, 2018 at 2:01pm

Today is our Wedding Anniversary. My heart is so broken. Would be 32 years. He was my whole life. I am so empty, I don't even feel like a person. My hubby went to heaven exactly 2 weeks before Christmas/2 weeks after Thanksgiving. Now our anniversary. :(  :(   This whole month is absolutely horrific. I feel like a zombie. I hate Christmas. I used to LOVE it. We LOVED it. It's way too hard to watch everyone celebrating with their husbands and family. I'm going to my brother's house Christmas Eve, but of course it's him and his wife, my mom and dad, everyone will have their husband. But me. Always, but me. I know you all are going through the same thing, and I'm so sorry for every single one of us. Nobody knows what it's like!!!  They are all cheery and happy and I can't wait until Jan 2nd. But then soon after, there will be Valentine's Day.......... 

Comment by riet on December 20, 2018 at 9:08am

 Muns and LP,  Warm Hugs to both of you.  


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