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Born in the 50s

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Members: 738
Latest Activity: 5 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Dating

Started by Mike. Last reply by Alysoun Nov 30, 2018. 24 Replies

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter Oct 6, 2018. 13 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by Barzan yesterday

It been over 7 years and I still (occasionally) have him in my dream.  What is weird is that he never speaks in these dreams.  Wonder if it means I'm forgetting his voice - which I know I'd recognize if I heard it.  I've had a few where he was lying next to me and only a few that were more intimate.  It is such a comforting feeling when I wake up and still feel like he'd been there with me.

Comment by AZBlueLady yesterday

I guess that is why they call them dreams; I've sure had some weird ones but I'll take them any day over nightmares.

Comment by LP yesterday

For the first 6 months or so, I didn’t dream about my husband. I had often had happy dream of him during his lifetime, and it worried me that I hadn’t dreamt of him since he died. But then I had the most wonderful dream. My husband had died of a degenerative neurological condition related to Parkinson’s which robb3d him slowly of all movement. In the dream, I was sitting next to him while he was lying on a sofa in a hotel lobby (yes, weird) in his PJs. I turned to a woman next to me and said, “my husband is dying”, and she said “Yes, I can see that”. But Chris was chatting to me, and then said he needed the bathroom. I was expecting to help him,  but then he got up and walked, stiffly at first, and broke into a faster walk. I said “you’re getting better!”, and he turned and smiled at me, and trotted off. 

I guess I know that he is not suffering anymore.

Comment by AZBlueLady yesterday

This is probably an unusual thing to say, but has anyone else experienced a dream of their husband which was of a more intimate nature? I have had a couple where I would swear that he felt like he was actually physically with me. I don't know if it is just because it has been so long or what, but these kind are different than the first dreams that I had of him where he would be lost in the dream and I would look and look and couldn't find him.

Comment by shelley yesterday

These days I often dream about John.  Sometimes the dreams are comforting.  In one recent dream I was standing next to him and put my head on his shoulder.  I can still feel the warmth from that connection, the electricity between us.  Sometimes the dreams are about me trying to let go of regrets.  I have so many regrets.  The dreams are always a little weird.  John is never the healthy man he once was.  He never looks at me with his beautiful blue eyes.  I think most of the dreams are about me trying to come to terms with the infinite amount of death-related stuff heaped upon me.   Last night a very long and complicated dream ended with me saying to John, "I know you're dead, John, but we're together again.  And this time you have to promise me that you'll tell me if you're not feeling well.  You have to tell me."  And John replied, 'Okay".  

Comment by riet on January 10, 2019 at 1:17am

I too have a difficult period in this new year. It does not feel like a new beginning at all. Just like a dull and pale remnant of what was once so wonderful.
I received some travel brochures. Very interesting to do with my husband, but so useless for me alone. How can I visit something without being able to discuss it with him? Just the idea of doing it alone makes me crawl away in my house.
How strange is a person? I have been forced to go home with a broken hip for 5 weeks now. I get a lot of help, a lot of visitors. And I'm recovering well. I dream of getting out again and seeing something. But I see so well how I would just walk around there with my soul under my arm. I miss him so much. My husband has now passed away for almost nine months, and I feel that I have not taken a step forward. On the contrary.

Tess, LP, Melissa, your stories could be mine. Hugs to all of you

Comment by Tess on January 6, 2019 at 3:17pm

LP, you make so many good points that I'm sure many here can identify with. When I saw the word slog that you used, I thought, that's it exactly! I picture having my feed stuck in mud and able to move forward, but slowly. It does improve with time though it still feels as if life moves in slow motion.

I feel much the same about travelling and am.unsure if it will ever change. I don't want to invest a lot of money on a trip that I am unlikely to enjoy.

I know these long winter days seem endless, but hang in there. Know that you are not alone.

Hugs to you.

Comment by LP on January 6, 2019 at 1:20pm

New year is hard. Grey,  chilly and and anxious about returning g to work. I was hoping i would feel more hopeful, but I’m dreading the year anniversary coming up at the end of Feb. Maybe it’s the thought of a new year of grief that saps me. I know that it’s supposed to get easier, but it all seems like a slog all the time.  I did go away at Christmas with a dear old friend, but although I used to love travelling, I find I no longer have any interest. I guess the fun was in discovering things withChris. It’s just not the same.

Comment by Melissa on January 6, 2019 at 11:09am

New Years Day was especially hard for some reason. We never did anything special, so I didn't expect a more difficult day. 

I think it's the thought of another year looming ahead. Another year without my husband.

Love and comfort to us all in the coming year.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on January 5, 2019 at 2:23pm

Hi Tekwriter, I did ok. My neighbor invited me over for sushi and pizza. He ended up talking about his wife who moved out this summer. Sounds awful but I was glad he feels comfortable enough with me to talk. I just want to be a good neighbor to him. I was only there for maybe 2 hours and I went to bed early. New Year's day - I went to a party which was nice.

My next big thing is announcing retirement to my Trustees - next week. Whew! Hugs!

 

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