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Born in the 50s

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Comment by Melissa on March 11, 2019 at 11:46am

Tekwriter, I'm so sorry. I really do believe that our husbands are there to meet our pets, and vice versa. They will ALL be there to meet us.

Hug your dogs for me. Much love.

Comment by Tekwriter on March 11, 2019 at 7:28am

My companion dog of 11 years had to be put down because of seizures two months after my husband passed. I had raised him from the time he was 8 weeks old. He made every step I made and I always felt safe with him. They had to lock him in a car when I fell outside and broke my shoulder so the paramedics could get to me. Anyway the last set of seizures were so bad he could no longer walk and he didn't always know me. I could tell in his eyes he was confused. We took him the next morning and I stayed with him. I told him Dad was waiting for him, and I honestly believe he was waiting for him on the other side.

I have another large dog now and a puppy but I think of my jack dog every day. I miss him so much.

Comment by Melissa on March 10, 2019 at 2:25pm

I'm going to tell you all a story that gives me great hope.

A friend of mine knew a medium, and I was having trouble dealing with my mother's death. My friend said, "This guy is really good. It couldn't hurt!"

So, I go to the medium. The first thing he asks is if I know someone named James on the other side. I said no. The medium was very insistent. Yes, you do. Jimmy? My dad's cousin had passed several years before, but he was the last person I was expecting to hear from. 

I said yes, I knew a Jimmy. The medium asked me to tell Jimmy's wife that his legs didn't hurt anymore, and he could ride horses again. The most important thing, he said, was that nobody made fun of him there.

Jimmy was in excruciating pain from circulatory disease, and it centered in his legs. He loved to ride horses and was heartbroken when he no longer could.

The most amazing thing was that he said nobody made fun of him there. When Jimmy was a young child, he had encephalitis. The doctors removed part of his skull to relieve the pressure on his brain. It left a dent in his forehead and he was teased mercilessly by other kids. It really destroyed his self-confidence and he had a very difficult life.

I will never forget that because the other stuff could maybe be guessed. The fact that he wanted me to tell his wife immediately that nobody made fun of him where he was just floored me. That defined his life. Of course, he saw an opportunity and came through so his wife could know he was healthy, happy, and perfect. And he had his beloved horses.

This should cheer us all up a bit. Hugs to you all.

Comment by irishlady (jan) on March 10, 2019 at 8:11am

Oh, thank you all so much for your support. It makes me know I am not alone. I agree Bergen...pets give you unconditional love. So, I think that's why we grieve so much. My Tiffy filled a void at just the right time in my life and I will always be grateful.   I had a friend who went to a psychic get together of sorts after we had to put my black lab, Mollie down and after my Mom passed. This friend was like another daughter to my Mom. She called my Mom Mrs. C. Well, at the event..she was out having a cigarette and the psychic came out for the same reason and she looked at my friend and said...Who do you know with the last name initial of C. My friend thought and the woman said, she thought of you as a daughter? And my friend immediately said Mrs. C. The woman said she watches over you. But who is Mollie, connected to her? My friend thought and thought and said...the only Mollie I know is their dog and sort of chuckled  The psychic smiled and said that explains why I couldn't figure it out and said tell your friend that Mrs. C has Mollie with her. Now, I don't know how many believe in stuff like this, but I found it extremely comforting and my husband was so close to Tiffy, I just know she has to be with him.Makes it more bearable. It's quite a boat we are all in together, isn't it? Much love to all.

Comment by booktime (Susan) on March 10, 2019 at 1:20am

Oh our little fur children! Shelley, your story resonated with me. Ed and I had adopted two dogs after our beloved dog Mirk died. when Ed died, there I was suddenly with two dogs who were then 14 years old. The next year I had one put down at 15 and the next year the other at 16. I picture Ed with his boys. He loved them so.Maybe it doesn't happen but I like to picture him with all 3!

Comment by shelley on March 9, 2019 at 8:23pm

Quite a story, Barzan.  Yuck. 

Comment by Barzan on March 9, 2019 at 8:03pm

My husband had been gone 2 years (cancer) when I adopted a runt rag doll cat.  She was such a sweet little girl and gave me so much comfort.  She had weepy eyes that had to be cleaned several times a day.  After a few years or so, she started to develop a bump on her head that turned out to be a tumor.  It kept growing and I realized she couldn’t completely close one eye, I took her to the vet and had her put down.  I still remember her looking up at me saying thank you and goodbye.  I walked out of there with the empty pet carrier and just bawled my eyes out in the parking lot.  I thought about how I couldn’t save my husband or my cat and how cancer took both of them and there was not a damned thing I could do about it.  

Jan, I understand completely how painful it was for you.  We love our animals because they help fill that empty space left by our spouses.  They give so much love and comfort.

hugs to all.


Comment by shelley on March 9, 2019 at 7:41pm

I am so sorry, Jan.  I know from experience how difficult it is to make the decision to put a pet down.  Another significant and special loss.  I really am so sorry.  I have a golden retriever, Bailey, who recently turned 11 and John and I never had a golden live past 11.  So I know her days are numbered.  Melissa (I think it was you), I never thought about Bailey and John being together again.  Bailey was John's favorite and I have many fond memories and photos of them romping together in the Eastern Sierras.  Imagining Bailey and John together again is both sweet and sorrowful.  But I'll take it.  

Comment by NoLongerInBergenJC on March 9, 2019 at 3:49pm

Jan, I'm so sorry about your kitty.  I'm also part of the double-whammy club.  Two months after my husband died, my beloved cat Maggie became ill and 3 vets couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.  I lost her 3-1/2 months after he died.  I swear, I cried more after she died than I did after my husband died.  I don't think it's that I loved her more, I think it's that the love for our pets is so uncomplicated.  We just love them.  We love them even when they chew up the sofa, scratch the chairs, knock stuff off the counter, eat the pizza off the table while your back is turned, pee on the rug, and so on.  When our spouses drive us crazy, it drives us crazy.  When our pets drive us crazy, we accept it and move along.

I went to the shelter a week after Maggie died.  It wasn't even that I felt ready for another cat, but my OTHER cat, who had only been with us for 5 months and who was the one who let me know something was very wrong with his daddy, desperately needed a buddy.  I brought home an 8-month-old kitten that 2 vets have told me is a purebred Russian Blue, and the two of them became best buddies.  It took me 3 months to warm up to Sammy because I was just not ready.  But he was so comical and so entertaining, that I warmed up to him.  It is now 5 years later.  I still miss my Maggie girl and her daddy, and the cat that had left us while my husband was ill.  That was my family.  Now I have a different family, just my boycats and me.

Comment by irishlady (jan) on March 9, 2019 at 3:21pm

Thank you so much Ultra2015,  laurjay, susan, Tess, Barzan and Melissa. I made it through last night. I spent today with my daughter and granddaughter. But, coming home to this empty house tonight is again a lot to bear. But, all of your kind words and thoughts and lovely sentiments helped more than you'll ever know. I'm not saying I will never get another pet, I've had them my whole life, dogs and cats. But, for now I need to heal and then decide what I want to do next. My daughter tells me I need to get out every day and decide what makes me happy to do. I've been trying to figure that one out since my husband died. I am in counseling and hoping it will help me figure this all out. Working on getting through this night and then dealing with the next day. One day at a time..the same way I survived my beloved husband, Leo's death. (((hugs to all))) and again...thank you.


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