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Born in the 50s

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Discussion Forum

social security widow/widower benefits

Started by Lissa. Last reply by booktime (Susan) Sep 10. 17 Replies


Started by Mike. Last reply by Ultra2015 Aug 29. 32 Replies

Camp Widow San Diego

Started by Kathy. Last reply by Dianne in Nevada Jul 9. 8 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Roxi on July 2, 2019 at 10:09am

riet not all joy is lost... we have to recognize it and give us the permission to feel it again ciao roxi 

Comment by LP on July 2, 2019 at 10:07am

Then V&A is central and easy to get to. in fact the daughter of a friend works there. I will neon London this Friday for some meetings if you like to meet up late afternoon. 

Comment by Ultra2015 on July 2, 2019 at 9:29am

Going better than I expected. The kids and London are great. The lonely nights are hard and wanting to share this with Sandi. She would have loved it. Brought a memorial urn with some of her ashes to Nick. He asked me to bring them over. I had to do some wash LOL so I made it an easy day. Going to a pub for the women’s soccer. Or the proper and as they would say , fobal ⚽️

Comment by chef (John) on July 2, 2019 at 9:19am


Hope that things are going well.

Comment by chef (John) on July 2, 2019 at 9:15am


Jude and I used to practice in the kitchen (large clear area there) almost every night for 10-15 minutes, and we actually became quite good at it--not that anyone would have ever mistaken us for Fred and Ginger.  :-) [We had taken up ballroom dancing as a form of joint exercise after Judith broke her wrist and was encouraged to take up an impact sport to prevent a repeat occurrence, and to strengthen her ankles.] I did continue to go to the dance studio after she died (after a several-month hiatus), but it just wasn't the I stopped. Every now and then I get a text message from our instructor inviting me back (even after all this time), but I don't think it's a good idea. Perhaps I'll feel differently down the road.

As to travel: The "single supplement" annoys me, but...if I REALLY want to go to a particular place, I just bite the bullet. I also want to be able to see some the places I dreamed of seeing since I was a kid collecting postage stamps...and have actually been to Hong Kong, the Falkland Islands, South Georgia and Antarctica. I've been "adopted" into groups on occasion when traveling, because I speak German and French--not as fluently as my native English, but I can hold my own in most conversations--or those folks were extremely gracious with my heavily-accented conversation. I am sorry that you are not able to travel as well, but I understand your difficulty.

Comment by Ultra2015 on July 2, 2019 at 9:03am

LP.  My son works at the Victoria &Albert. Would that be close?

Comment by LP on July 2, 2019 at 8:47am

A peaceful birthday, Riet. Treat yourself as your beloved would have done.

Chris and I used to do ballroom dancing years ago. His disease slowly robbed him of the ability to move, so dancing with him was one of the things I gradually lost, along with going for walks, etc.

I couldn't ever dance with anyone else. But those were good times.

been having some bad times over the last few weeks, sometimes barely able to get out of bed. But taking Ibuprofen helps a lot. Apparently it is good for depression, and there are currently a lot of medical studies investigating this (including at my place of work, Kings College London). I really does help me, and it's as cheap as chips and OTC.

Comment by Barzan on July 2, 2019 at 4:57am

Riet,  So happy to hear that your birthday turned out to be pleasant with the help of your family gathering to honor you.  I know how emotional it must have been.  Hugs to you.

John, I gave up dancing when I married Barney.  He had no sense of rhythm at all and was blessed with 2 left feet.  We did dance at out son's wedding and we came out unscathed.  I love to travel but haven't done so as much as I would have liked to.  My friends either work or have mates.  I do travel stateside with my MIL once or twice a year.  Half my family is in Europe but I haven't gone for a visit because I just can't do it alone.  I had hoped to meet a fella that would like to be a travel buddy but the ones I've met have wanted more.  I think you know what I mean.  I'm still hopeful.  Hugs to you.


Comment by Melissa on July 1, 2019 at 10:27pm

I'm so glad the day was better than expected, riet. Life continues to surprise us!

I wish you comfort and peace.

Comment by riet on July 1, 2019 at 11:55am

Dear friends, 

Your sweet words touch me deeply. Chef John, thank you for making the effort to wish me a happy birthday in my own language.
Sweet Melissa, I will definitely discuss this with my doctor. It could indeed help. Thank you for the detailed explanation. Suzan, I know you are always there and you understand everything that troubles all of us. A big hug to all of you.
I had a nice day. Children and grandchildren, neighbors and friends came to visit. It went better than what I had imagined.
The lack remains, but I could also think of the others and be happy for them. For their school results, for their travel plans. I no longer thought he should be there at every moment of the day. And what's more: I don't feel guilty about it.
It is so extraordinary that I can tell all of this here without being judged.
Dear fellow sufferers, thank you


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