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Born in the 50s

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Members: 768
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Discussion Forum

social security widow/widower benefits

Started by Lissa. Last reply by booktime (Susan) Sep 10. 17 Replies

Dating

Started by Mike. Last reply by Ultra2015 Aug 29. 32 Replies

Camp Widow San Diego

Started by Kathy. Last reply by Dianne in Nevada Jul 9. 8 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by chef (John) on July 16, 2019 at 3:53pm

Hugs, Melissa.

Shelly, I'm almost envious. People were asking me when I was going to begin dating when I hit four months, because I was supposed "to get on with my life". I'm a few days short of hitting the eight-year mark--and am still single. Go figure... :-)

Comment by shelley on July 16, 2019 at 3:32pm

I know what you mean, Melissa.  Can't get away with the total indulgence in sadness anymore.  Almost 20 months now.  People are less sympathetic, less patient.  Can feel the judgment.  

Your son's wedding-  of course you have to go and it will be hard.  I'm sorry you'll be without Gilbert.  

Comment by LP on July 16, 2019 at 2:15pm

Nothing is too whiny for us..this is place to let it all out, because, honestly, where else can we?

a son’s wedding without your husband sounds really tough! With these kinds of family things, I find it helps to talk to my husband in my head- so time spent with my stepdaughter and grandkids, I’m saying to C “See what we’re doing? You’d love this! We’re carrying on as you’d want”. I can’t say it fixes everything, but it helps a bit. That’s what’ll be saying to C when I take the family on a holiday to “celebrate’ ( not sure that’s the right word) my sixtieth next month. I’ve rented a dog-friendly cottage by the beach for me, the dog, my stepdaughter, son in law and the grandkids. We’ll have C there in spirit.

Comment by Melissa on July 16, 2019 at 11:08am

Hi riet,

I posted it here, but deleted it. It sounded too whiny.

My son is getting married on the 27th, and I just don't know how I'll get through the wedding without Gilbert.

Comment by riet on July 15, 2019 at 11:31pm

I got a message from Melissa in my  mail box, but it doesn't appear on this page if I click on the link.  What happened?

Comment by Melissa on July 10, 2019 at 12:31pm

Susan and Ultra, I'm glad things are going so well.

If we can push back the sadness for a while, that is a very good thing.

Hugs to you all.

Comment by chef (John) on July 10, 2019 at 7:04am

@Ultra: Glad to hear that things are going well for you! [Hope you had those extra pints for us back in the US.]

@Susan: Congratulations on both your retirement and insights. [Speaking as one who is about three years away from retirement, I am somewhat envious. :-) Who knows? I may continue another year or two past that when I finally get to that point.]

Comment by Ultra2015 on July 10, 2019 at 3:45am

Susan

happy you are liking retirement. So understand about being someone’s number one. Miss that and having some to call and say “it’s me”. Keep rolling with the retirement. 

Comment by riet on July 10, 2019 at 2:56am

Dear Susan,

  Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. I hope you can enjoy every moment, despite the lasting sadness.
Hugs and love

Comment by booktime (Susan) on July 10, 2019 at 2:21am

Just thought I would update - I am into week 2 of retirement. I was with family the first week (my siblings and I finally interred my parents into the family plot). This week is giving me more of a sense what this is all about. I have lots of errands I am doing, some get togethers with friends, and doing much reading on my porch. I am not trying to get anything done, just unwinding and relaxing. The background work chatter in my head is gone. I feel like I am sleeping more than usual.

I have a few more getaways planned for our summer cottage and doing some travel with my sisters.

My summer looks and feels busy!

So far, I am really enjoying this retirement thing.

Last week did have some emotional moments as July 2 was our anniversary (would have been 24 years) and July 4 was Ed's birthday (he would have been 67). I guess one thing I realized (again) is I am on my own and should just focus on my own needs. To have expectations from family about anything else just results in disappointment. I feel I keep coming back to this - I am not anyone's number one and I had better just make myself my own number one!

The week on the whole was very good with family. And the weather was perfect!

Hugs to everyone.

 

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