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Born in the 50s

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Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Misery loves company

Started by Tess. Last reply by riet Mar 1. 13 Replies

How old was he?

Started by sadderbytheday. Last reply by DIVA70 Jan 26. 6 Replies


Started by Lark. Last reply by Maggiepie Jan 24. 14 Replies

Keeping a journal sometimes helps

Started by sadderbytheday. Last reply by sadderbytheday Dec 31. 9 Replies

Little Family?

Started by Hope. Last reply by Freebird Nov 29, 2019. 18 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by shelley on August 30, 2019 at 2:10pm

Hey, Melissa.  Yes.  True.  Moving home would be comforting, simpler and less expensive lifestyle.  I'd be near my sisters whom I adore.  But hard to think about living 3,000 miles away from my son who's been my rock since John died.  Crying outbursts.  Yes.  I finally hired a tech guy to save all of John's computer/phone info and all of his voicemails to me.  Could feel the tears coming.  Was able to hold out until he left.  

Comment by KJPE on August 30, 2019 at 1:26pm

Dear LandL, It sounds like you are really missing your kids & grandkids who were able to be there for you & now (perhaps suddenly) are not.  You really need your husband now which brings back all the old grief.  Here's what could really help if you haven't tried already:  travel somewhere that you have loved ones (preferably a city).  Find a really good psychiatrist & get a full eval - of your depression as well as your anxiety.  There are so many good drugs now, and each addresses different symptoms, and anti-anxiety pills can make one more depressed rather than less (depending on what you take).  Get away for awhile, stay with a long-distance friend.  And consider moving out of the small town that has so few resources for you.  That's the long-term plan.  My heart aches for you - I can easily imagine years going by & always missing our departed spouses because they were wonderful & no one else lives up to them.  We have been given the gift of additional years, and must keep seeking to discover what we should do with them.  Sending hugs & hopes for relief of your sadness & hopeless!  This too will pass...

Comment by Melissa on August 30, 2019 at 12:30pm

Shelley, I'm meeting with the realtor tomorrow to look at the house. My therapist thought it was a really good idea for me to get back to my "roots".

You and I seem to be on the same page quite often. It would be great if we had the same hometown!

Comment by shelley on August 30, 2019 at 9:32am

Hey Melissa,  Just read your post about moving back to your hometown.  I'm having the same thoughts.  

Comment by chef (John) on August 30, 2019 at 5:23am


Ultra is right. If we can't vent here when we're having a bad day, there wouldn't be much point to logging on here. Keep on reading and posting. We all "get it".

Comment by MissYou on August 29, 2019 at 5:35pm

Linda please be strong, do everything you can to get out of this. There is a beautiful life outside everything you're feeling right now. Bless you 

Comment by shelley on August 29, 2019 at 1:27pm

I don't think I'm an introvert or an extrovert.  My family owned a small golf course, clambake/catering business in Upstate New York when I was young.  From the time I was tall enough to reach the grill, I was serving hamburgers and hot dogs to people of all ages and subsequently participating in a variety of  friendly conversations.  The social skills learned have served me well.  I can turn on my 'automatic pilot' when needed.  

Comment by Melissa on August 29, 2019 at 12:53pm

Linda, I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I know how that feels. I also know how it feels when your family falls apart when you need them most.

Everyone here understands, and we're here for you. Please come back and tell us your story.

Comment by irishlady (jan) on August 29, 2019 at 12:41pm

LandL...I could have written your letter. I am at 6 years now. Today is the 50th anniversary of the night I met my husband. It was rather unique all the planets had to line up just right. I was 18 and he 19, first love. He died at 62. I did not ever see my life going on without him. I am also a big time introvert, shy till I get to know someone, and just discovered I am a HSP. I moved to be closer to my daughter a year ago and I still have made no friends in the senior complex I live in. I am in counseling and it seems to be working after many failed attempts. And I recently discovered that out of the blue, I was actually having some happy...not deliriously, but happier than usual days. A think my wake up call was finding out I had a mini stroke somewhere along the line. I also live in a  very small town and totally get it. If you ever need someone to talk to you are welcome to contact me. I so feel for you, as I said, like I wrote your letter. Please don't give up. There is hope on the horizon. Many ((((hugs)))) to you.

Comment by irishlady (jan) on August 29, 2019 at 12:20pm

I knew I was an introvert, but never knew about the HSP. Explains a lot now. I always thought I was just a big crybaby and needed a thicker skin.


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