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Born in the 50s

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Discussion Forum

Just an introduction

Started by Jim. Last reply by KJPE on Friday. 6 Replies

Anyone experiencing loneliness?

Started by bblue5. Last reply by Laurie Nov 10. 15 Replies

Sleep

Started by Butleri62. Last reply by KJPE Nov 4. 9 Replies

Little Family?

Started by Hope. Last reply by saddy Oct 27. 8 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by DrummerGroupie (Christine) on October 8, 2019 at 7:25am

I'm so sorry Eddiemoney - that does make the holidays even more difficult.  I don't have any other family close by, my step son and daughter and their families have always included me in everything.  I also have 4 fur babies and I don't know what I would do without them.  

Thinking of you. 

Comment by Eddiemoney on October 8, 2019 at 7:17am

I lost my husband last year the day after Christmas so it will be tough. We never were too much into the holiday but did have one little tradition. Not having any family or close friends makes it even tougher. No I am not doing the pity party guys. I have my fur babies, but this loneliness is tough. I stopped working last Nov when Rex was placed on hospice. Work associates just blew away! Thanksgiving was always a time with just he and I. Just enjoying a dinner at home, watching football, etc. I better stop. The tears are starting 

Comment by DrummerGroupie (Christine) on October 8, 2019 at 7:17am

That's a great idea for Thanksgiving, Claire.  I'm thinking about that also.  Thanksgiving this year is our wedding anniversary, Nov. 28 - so that's a tough day.  My step kids all want to get together for dinner as we usually do, but no one can seem to make a plan...so I'm not sure.  Then, one of my closest friends is getting married on Saturday, Nov. 30 so I'll be making a trip to Nashville to be at her wedding - hmmmm, 2 days after our anniversary AND she's marrying a guy named Mark - which is my late husband's name also !!  

I think it's going to be an emotional few days !!!  I'm really happy for her, and he's a great guy - just a lot of emotions. 

Comment by Claire on October 8, 2019 at 7:11am

For the Thanksgiving holiday I'm going to volunteer at a mission that provides dinner for homeless. Christmas, I'm not sure about that yet. 

Comment by booktime (Susan) on October 8, 2019 at 6:54am

I know what I am doing for Thanksgiving - going to my sister's in Maine. I've done this since my mother died so it's the third time.

As to Christmas? i have no clue. I haven't been invited anywhere tho I know the same sister welcomes me - it's just a bit of a drive in winter.

I don't really want to do what I did last year. I felt really uncomfortable when my brother's ex showed up and showered her daughters and grandchild with gifts for hours. I didn't know she was coming. I remember going upstairs to my room for a bit of a cry.

So I am hoping for more joy this year.

Hugs to all!

Comment by DrummerGroupie (Christine) on October 8, 2019 at 6:27am

Whew - the holidays!  I know that they are just around the corner, and as much as I enjoy the weather and the time off work - the holidays are still daunting.  My friends always include me - but I feel like I'm infringing on their family time.  My step kids are great - but they both are married and have their in-laws etc....

I decorate very sparsely at my house - cuz it's only me and my fur babies.  I haven't put up a tree in several years.  Somehow, we'll get through it all, once again. 

Chris

Comment by Tess on October 8, 2019 at 6:22am

I hear you Jules and LP. I get along doing what is expected of me on holidays and special events, but it’s a facade. There really is no genuine joy involved. I love my daughter and grandson to the ends of the earth, but they are not a substitute for my lost love. 

I recently posted a picture of me with them at the beach. Of course we were all smiling. An acquaintance commented that I looked so happy. Of course I let that one go but I wanted so desperately to say looks deceive. 

Hang in there. 

Comment by Barzan on October 8, 2019 at 6:18am

Oh the dreaded holidays!  While my husband was still alive, we hosted some Thanksgiving dinners but we didn't care if we had an invitation to other family member's houses because we were quite happy to just spend it by ourselves.  Now, it's sitting around wondering if I get an invite because it feels like I'm an afterthought.  If air travel wasn't so expensive during holidays, I'd fly somewhere I haven't been before and take in the sights.

I have good friends who would include me if the knew how I felt but I don't want to intrude on their celebrations with their families.  So like many here, I dread the holidays.  

Suzan

Comment by LP on October 8, 2019 at 6:06am

Yes, the season when we have to swat away the dreaded question “are you ready for the holidays?”   People don’t realise that losing a spouse is not like losing a parent. The latter is sad of course, but losing my husband was like having half of me torn  off. I haven’t felt like celebrating anything since he died. I nap a lot too, like many of you. It allows me a break from a world that doesn’t have Chris in it anymore. 

Comment by Jules on October 8, 2019 at 5:39am

Tech writer: The holidays!! Yikes! Since my Mom passed away 2 1/2 years ago I’ve taken on the Christmas morning brunch. I’ve already let some family member know I’m not doing it this year. One response was, “oh, what are you doing instead? Are you going on a trip?” I was a little dumb founded at that response. My thought was, not sure I’m even getting out of bed.  The same person also suggested I “ fake being happy until I’m happy???!! I have to keep in mind she’s younger and has never gone through something like this. She thinks it should be like when my mom died. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!

 

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