Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to help locate folks "like you," and maybe say "hi."

Welcome to this group's coordinator, Wannabmartha!

Members: 485
Latest Activity: 4 hours ago

Positive Thoughts Forum Discussion

Here's a link to the Forum discussion with "positive" quotes, photos, links, etc.

http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/stop-by-this-forum-when-you-need-a-positive-pick-me-up

Comment Wall

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Comment by Kerrie 4 hours ago
Thanks all for the hugs and kind words. I too always shrugged away from hugs. Grew up that way so not sure where older sister got it from but she is a hugger. She was visiting from out of state before Don got sick and she and her husband both "forced" hugs from me. I had to jokingly thank her for that since hugs are definitely a part of this damn journey! !!
Comment by Gordy's widow 10 hours ago

kerrie you have to do something don't ignore the holiday all together as  I feel that would be more depressing... my first after my divorce from SATAN... I was in a bad way my mom  made me this sweet little 1 foot tree and it sat on my tv.... do something even if it small and simple..... and as I said Gordy LOVED CHRISTMAS  in a BIG way.... so I feel  I can never ignore it just as a way to honor him...  

Comment by Slick 18 hours ago

Thanks Dave55....you're are so right ..never enough...I'm volunteering...today...and the place I go to is a specialty cancer treatment facility.....they are huggers.....so it's a nice place with a bunch of brilliant minds...and when their ties come off...great senses of humor.....so you started my hugs today.....and I send you one back......HUGS>>>>>>>>>

Comment by Dave55 18 hours ago
Hugs Slick, Weaxie and another for Kerrie, you can never have enough, and like another friend I met very recently I used to shrink from them, strange.
Weaxie, that was a wonderful insight, I'm always going to remember that when I'm back in a dark place, thanks so much for sharing it from your Aunt.
Comment by Slick 18 hours ago

Kerrie I wish I could give you a real Hug......I'm sorry...it hurts and is so hard...to go on...but God hasn't given us a choice or a book of directions.....

Weaxie...thank you for writing what you did to Kerrie....it will help a lot of people.....it did me..I go on...I do have some things in my life I enjoy...it's not better...it's not even what I would call good....I'm still stuck somewhere at almost 4 years.....but I have faith that it will all work out....

PEACE

Comment by Weaxie yesterday

(((Kerrie))) So wish I could make it better for you. I have no words other than I am so sorry you have to be here. I remember going to see my 85 year old Aunt in just an awful crying state (her husband had committed suicide and OMG way too many issues to mention) about 4 months after Bob had died. She looked me in the eye and said "Life will be good again, different, but it will be good." I'm sobbing as I tell you this (my heart so goes out to you), but I can say at 17 months out, she was right. It has gotten easier, not great, but good enough to see it will only get better. Hold on sweet girl, it will be ok in time. But go ahead and cry your eyes out, that is what you are suppose to do-it's healing to cry.

Comment by Kerrie yesterday
So..I worked an hour later then usual (almost grabbed for phone to call Don) and it was dark out..went past a house with Halloween lights on. It got me crying as I thought about our Christmas decorations. Last year was the first time I ever had lights on a timer.my brother had helped me put the lights up and I was looking for an easier way to have Don turn them on for me since I was working night shift. This was before we knew anything about Don not feeling good. It was nice to have them on when I came home and now I don't think I will even decorate at all! Between the lack of stockings and the memory of stage 4 diagnosis on December 21st....not sure how I will keep it together for this very scary "first" as I sit in bis recliner crying away tonight.
Comment by Shaye on Friday

Gordy's widow...we are on opposite coasts, so can't get together, but Dec 7 is JR's birthday, first without him, so I will hold you in my thoughts too!  I agree about starting 'new' traditions.  i scheduled a group tour for Christmas week, won't be alone, won't be with anyone that reminds me of JR, maybe I'll have a better time.  Undecided if I'll even decorate this year, going with whatever i feel like each day.  It's going on 10 months, seems a bit better each day, at least I seem to be able to 'control' my tears more when I must.  My friends and family are tolerate!  Blessings!

Comment by Gordy's widow on Friday

what makes my brain and my heart literally twist i n my body is that my dad the other important man in my life passed 12 mo to the day from my Gordy  both on 12/7.... it makes me insane LOL even though my mom and my brothers lost dad too, it makes different for me and they not one of them has ever really  acknowledged that for me... I am a fool to even think they would....   

Comment by Gordy's widow on Friday

Kerrie, Holidays are hard as are any anniversaries. Gordys 3rd angelversary is 12/7 so dec is a mine field . We used tohost my mil's sister who is in her 90's but she decided not to do that anymore and she has been diagnosed with some type of dementia and hallucinating lately so, that is probably better. Christmas is tough but Gordy loved it so .. I can not ignnore it, I decorate the house, go to church services, last year made lobster for us.... but still feel so empty inside... so this year need to find something to do special for me and mil. My family doesn't get together, as MOTHER usually goes to MD where little kids are. So gonna try hard to make things fun ....

But the anticipation of these days is worse than the day itself.... change the way you celebrate maybe we will volunteer at a soup kitchen, or go to the movies... something to make it different even a little...      

 

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