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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to widville@gmail.com.

Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

Members: 557
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Comment Wall

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Comment by Jeane 2 hours ago
I cannot think of taking mine off either. I took my original one off two years ago when he gave me a new one. Thought when I lose weight I would put it back on but it is still too tight even though I have lost a lot. I buried Erv in his second ring I gave him on our 25th and he used to carry his iriginal on a key ring but I cannit find it. Hopefully I will one day. I feel lost when Ihave to take them off.
Comment by longwalks 4 hours ago

I wear his wedding band on a chain around my neck…my engagement ring on my left hand. Can't imagine not wearing them……..

Comment by Lakegirl33 6 hours ago
Dear Dianne,Delaware girl,Lost 15,bis4betsy,thank you. Diane, went to the forum, interesting. Thank you for huge reassurance. I have been freaking out about taking them off for the rafting trip, but the thought of loosing them there is worse, so I will leave them at home for that. Delaware girl, we started dating in 1972 and were also 41 1/2 years when he died.
Comment by bis4betsy 11 hours ago

this was a big topic in my grief group!  My sweet husband had lost so much weight it kept falling off his finger and so when I looked at mine all I could think of was his falling off. That made me too sad so now I'm wearing the ring he bought me for our 25th anniversary.  A happier day and it still makes me think of how much I was loved. I have our wedding rings together in my drawer, maybe some day I will be able to look at them without being so sad. 

Comment by Lost15 12 hours ago
I can't imagine taking mine off. He put them on my finger 41yrs ago. I'm almost at 3 months. Miss him so terribly.
Comment by delaware girl 12 hours ago
Lakegirl33, I still wear my weddings rings ... I still feel very much married even coming up on two years soon. We were together for 41-1/2 years and married almost 39; we started dating in 10th grade ... heck we grew up together. I wear my husband's wedding band on my left ring finger as well ... my engagement ring holds it in place. I don't know how I'll feel in the future, but for now, the rings are exactly where they should be for me. I have pondered the idea of maybe getting a birthstone ring signifying my husband's birthday for my left ring finger ...when and if I should transition my wedding rings to my right hand. No one would know its true significance but me ...
Comment by Dianne in Nevada 12 hours ago

Lakegirl ... There's a forum discussion that was started back when Widowed Village first opened in 2011 on the topic of when or if to remove your rings that you might find helpful. Here's a link to it:  http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/when-did-you-remove-your

Comment by delaware girl 12 hours ago
I've been a member for almost a year. I don't post a lot, but I come here often to get encouragement and to know that I'm not alone in such feelings of loneliness and longing for my husband. My husband was such a wonderful handyman around the house ... plumbing,electrical, carpentry, automotive, etc. Like others have posted, it is difficult now to have the sole responsibility of all repairs. With each thing that comes up, it reminds me of just how many ways I miss my precious husband. I, too, hate to ask for help, and the cost of now having to pay for repairs really adds up. For the first year, I only handled what had to be done ... too much in a fog to care. I figured the repairs wouldn't go anywhere and would just have to wait if at possible. It's very difficult not having anyone to share the 'to do' list with. I am fortunate that I work full-time ... it has been a lifeline many times. I'm coming up on two years in July ... I've never known such profound heartache. Definitely hard transitioning from being a "we" to now being 'me'.
Comment by Lakegirl33 14 hours ago
Hello, I am wondering if anyone has given thought to your rings? Not looking for a right or wrong, just thoughts. I still wear my mothers ring, wedding ring and engagement ring on my left hand and a family eternity ring on my right and my husbands band on my right pointer finger. I do have to remove them when I am in the OR. I have been asked about it on very strange occasions. Had not really given much thought. I have met some widows who have had necklaces made, and others who dontbwear anymore, and some like me who do. For me it is another item of indecision. I will be white water rafting in three weeks with my kids and will leave them home with my earrings. Otherwise, just curious. I can't imagine not wearing them, yet then wonder if I " should" today would have been 38 years, and I'd I am thinking of it today, perhaps remembering our wedding. Thank you for any thoughts......and this is my second anniversary without Bob. I survived! Hugs to you all.
Comment by Jeane 15 hours ago
Angelina it has been ten months for me. I have not been on here in so long but I believe we have talked about our husbands. Mine had GBM. I finally got our main bathroom almost finished, the guy left things undone and I was tired of him here so I will finish it. I still have roo s that need to get finished and flooring but I have been trying to get new flower beds done etc. that is what we were working on when he had his first numbness from the tumor. Then with all of the rain here in Texas it is slow go and I really do not want to hire anyone for that. Also myy bff of 52 years is dying and I try to take our rv out so I feel more comfortable doing it but it is just different without him and now when Brenda is gone she and her hubby were our camping buddies. I am very lonely and my kids just do not fill that void. Too many firsts have been happening for me and I cry almost everyday. I do not like to do things by myself and of course the other couples do not call. I have no clue how it will be. So etimes I would like to find a good spot for our rv and just go live in it by myself. Baby steps.
 

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