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Born in the 50s

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Members: 649
Latest Activity: on Sunday

Discussion Forum


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Patience (Diane) Oct 18. 103 Replies


Started by Nardly. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 11. 14 Replies

Health problems after losing a spouse

Started by NoLongerInBergenJC. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 10. 22 Replies


Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by lonelyinaz Aug 18. 40 Replies


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Slick Jul 26. 9 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by irishlady on Sunday

country girl...I understand the feeling of wanting to run away. I have said that so many times over the last 3-1/2 years, I will say...I just want to throw my dog into the car and start driving. Never acted on it though. I was with my husband for 44 years also and still can not imagine being with anyone else. I get from my daughter all the time...You know Dad would not want you acting like this, when I would have my breakdowns. That still makes me mad as I am the only one who REALLY knew my husband and what he would want/expect out of me and what you see is just what he knew I would be like. I am sick of having to pretend I am tough and doing just great. But, if I don't, then my kids, especially my daughter are all over me. Wait till you hear..You are so strong. I would never be that way. I would be a basket case, I'm not "that" strong. You aren't there when the door closes. I have learned over these years, to plaster the fake smile on when I go out the door and when asked how are you, I reply fine. No one really wants to know. When you start explaining your real feelings ,they get this look on their face like they can' get away fast enough.

Comment by country girl on Sunday

I have gotten the are you sure you are ok? Now I answer "No I'm not ok.i will
Never be ok again. So eons asked me today if I wanted them to fix me up o a
blind date. REALLY? Its only been 3 months. NO I don't want a date. I want Paul
back and we know that is not going to happen. Everyone thinks I need a companion .
REALLY? Please someone tell me what am I supposed to say or do when this happens.
I spent 44 years with one man and can't begin to imagine being with someone else now or later. Sometimes I just want to go where no one knows me. Running away isn't the answer but sounds good at times. Good night all.

Comment by camsmom on Saturday


Great last sentence! So true...

Comment by susanelizabeth on Saturday

I talk to both Kevin and my father, who died 13 years ago. I'm always asking them if they're proud of me when I do something difficult, or even if I'm watching Jeopardy and get a hard question about baseball or WWII right (I learned a lot about both from both of them.) Six months after Kevin died I started keeping a journal in which I wrote to him. I started off with just the things I would have told him about my day or things I saw or read that nobody else would appreciate. Then I got into the heavy stuff--yelling at him for leaving me alone, or for certain messes he left behind I had to clean up; then the tears and apologies for the things I'd done wrong. I wished him a happy birthday, and a merry Christmas, and begged him to give me a sign that he forgave me for everything. I kept it up for about six months, then life got too busy to write, but I still talk to him. It's hard to stop talking to the only person who ever understood me. Do whatever helps you. If people tell you they're worried that you're "stuck" or "not moving on", tell them they're welcome to bring over a pan of lasagna or help clean out your garage or whatever else you need help with--but the market for unsolicited advice is closed.

Comment by camsmom on Friday

If Not For You

Comment by Slick on Friday

One of my favorite Dylan songs...Sweet Melissa....I still listen to him..God bless..

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on Friday

(((Solamente Mio)))

Numerous times I googled "Where is Bob?" I was directed to many celebrities named Bob, just not the light of my life. I had to laugh when I kept getting Bob Dylan's song Rainy Day Woman ...

Well, they'll stone ya when you're trying to be so good
They'll stone ya just a-like they said they would
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to go home
Then they'll stone ya when you're there all alone
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.
Well, they'll stone ya when you're walkin' 'long the street
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to keep your seat
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' on the floor
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' to the door
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.
They'll stone ya when you're at the breakfast table
They'll stone ya when you are young and able
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to make a buck
They'll stone ya and then they'll say "good luck"
Comment by solamente mio on Friday

I call these times my paybacks. You seem to go along and are functioning - working, handling estate matters, cleaning up..... but now it's payback. all of the sudden this sad sense of melancholy and mourning has moved back in for a bit. You can just be trying to do some work or any little thing and a thought, a picture will cross your mind and bam, you in the thick of it.  I try to remind my self it's only been 10 months. Its probably more enhanced as I need to go to our Central office for a Division meeting.  I'm uncomfortable and "dread" hearing you're doing so well, and basically just want to stay down here in my area where all know the drill and give me space/ understanding.  There when I need and otherwise...

for me I actually have his fingerprint as a ring so he does travel with me wherever. I chat with him, tell him what's going on and then ask the stupid question I always ask and tell him it's stupid as well, where are you- you're not where you're supposed to be. Mine was a suddenly widowed with a younger husband so I'm always wondering whose idea this was and whoever has a sick sense of humor.  All this even though I logically know he didn't have the best cardiac but...   so  much for grown old with me.  I have allot of angry sorrow. So I'm going to try next week to keep this melancholy at bay and just stay to myself.   I'm venting guys - thanks for the ear.

Comment by country girl on Thursday

Hi carlady. I also redid odd bedroom . the last week of Paul's lid was sent in that room. He died in our bed. Our oldest grandsons don't understand why. They are all in their 20's but ha e fond memories of watching basketball piled up on the bed with him. Eating popcorn and cheering their team on. This will be the first season without that treasure.It won't be the same with him not hete.I also kept his favorite jacket and wear it on a really bad day.It still smells like him.
Donated all his clothes to charity.His suspenders still hang in the closet though.
Hugs to all

Comment by CarLady on Thursday
I have Williams's ashes in the den, the room where he passed away as it was turned into a hospital room for the last week of his life. It was 3 years last month. I have no plans to move his ashes, the box is surrounded with a large picture of him and some glass angels and remembrance candles. Our house was the place he was most happy , we bought it on our first wedding anniversary and lived together there 33 years. I also talk to him and feel his presence in the house. My son and daughter agree their dad would want to be here with me. When the time comes and I can't or don't want to look after the house any more I may scatter his ashes in the garden, I'll cross that road when the time comes. I kept a few of his things that held meaning for us and donated the rest. The one room I completely changed in the first week after he passed away was our bedroom - I couldn't even go in there. I bought all new furniture, bed, run, etc. and made the room mine so I could live there. It's a really small house and this was the only way to cope. We all have to do things in our own time and space. Hugs to all.

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