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Born in the 50s

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in-laws of deceased husband

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Retire? Or Not?

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Comment Wall


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Comment by Susan on July 3, 2017 at 7:23am


     My son also cooks & grills... He started enjoying cooking in college...  He must have gotten his love of cooking from both of us, then had taken his culinary learning further... They lived in San Francisco for about 2 years. Learned a lot there...Now my Son & Daughter In Law have moved back here last year.  They are building a home here :-)...

   I'm looking forward to my Grandson ! I'll have a lot of fun quilting & Crocheting things for him :-) 

   I'm glad I'm not the only one who TRIED " not to pay attention " to Drs. when they said negative things... When we could go to see his Drs. I would record the appointments on my Ipad. I still listen to them just so I can hear his voice.

Warmest Regards,





Comment by WithoutJim on July 3, 2017 at 6:54am


Thank you for your caring words.  Such wonderful news about your first grandchild on the way! Grandchildren are the lights of my life.  

We also had some warning when we learned that his platelets were low 6 months before and a bone marrow biopsy was actually scheduled for the day before he died, but as you did we "tried not to pay attention" to what that might mean for the future and called it "living our bliss" until we learned otherwise. I am so sorry for your loss. Watching your husband so full of love and life go downhill must have been so devastating and painful. I think no matter how fast or slow we lose them, the amount of grief is the same. 

I too love seafood and enjoy it so much now that my must-have-meat-for-dinner hubby is gone. My son shares my love and grills fish, shrimp and scallops quite often for me. Of course, I would go back to meatloaf and steaks in a heartbeat if my Jim would just come back to my table. :)

Warm regards,


Comment by Susan on July 3, 2017 at 6:02am


     I'm sorry .... Somehow, it's EXTRA hard when the one you lose is so healthy and full of life.... Just like my late husband. Very full of love and life. At least we had almost 2 years of warning from the Drs. that the end of his life will come sooner rather than later... But I tried not to pay attention to them, UNTIL "I" noticed him going downhill. He had Glioblastoma, a very aggressive brain cancer that won't go away. It's just keeps making more tumors grow where the last one one was removed.... Anyway... I'm sorry for your loss. ( I hate those words) I always tell myself, " there must a better way to tell someone that you care of their situation." .

   Enjoy the kids you have visiting ! When October gets here, My son and Daughter In Law will be giving me my First Grandson !



Comment by mcbeth (Mary Beth) on July 3, 2017 at 6:01am


You said plenty, at least I know that I'm not nuts. For years Tom would salt something before he tasted it. I used to tell him to taste it first, he salted cottage cheese and it's already salty.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to sit at the bar eat my dinner on a plate on a placemat. I don't mind using a paper plate at lunch. Don't have a lot of time at lunch so that will work. Wish me luck

Comment by Susan on July 3, 2017 at 5:44am

I have SAID  a lot of nothing.

Comment by Susan on July 3, 2017 at 5:43am

Mary Beth,

   Paul was what you call a " Meat & Potatoes Man " ...  I don't care for them unless the meat is lean, medium rare and with a strip of bacon around it. LOL  Which is pricey... So I just love my seafood and what he called my " Healthy Food ".

   As soon as we sat down in a restaurant , his hand would stray to the ketchup or salt & pepper. I told him that it's disrespectful to the chef if you don't taste the food as it's served first. THEN you can do as you wish as far as condiments go. So he complied. Surprisingly enough, he would forego doctoring his food as usual once in awhile.

   So now I'll cook for our son & daughter in law when they come to visit on weekends just like I did for Paul. I just can't bring MYSELF to eat it.... I'm happy with fixing side salads for each of us.

   As far as paper plates go, I have used them up and am now using our everyday stoneware plates that we chose together almost 40 years ago.

   I realize I have a lot of nothing here, but it helps ;-) 




Comment by Barzan on July 3, 2017 at 5:18am

Athena53 - I've been wanting to go back to Hungary to visit family for several years but hate the thought of traveling alone.  My friends don't have the money for the trip and the kids can't take 3 weeks off from work.  So I am left to decide if I want to just do it or wait another year to see what happens. 

The world has changed so much in the past 5 years that make me question traveling overseas altogether.  I think since my Barney died, I have lost some of my courage.  Back then, nothing would faze me. 

Comment by mcbeth (Mary Beth) on July 3, 2017 at 3:40am


I haven't gotten past the popcorn stage!! I still eat that sometimes for supper...I count it as my grain for the day. ;)

Comment by Boo on July 2, 2017 at 2:39pm
D was the same way.. I even called him my picky eater. When he first was gone, I got stuff he didn't like, and it was awful. Not sure if it was the pre-mixed stuff or the food. He really didn't like lettuce, so salads were out... hence the salad bar tears.

I'm eating better now, but I ate too junky for awhile... ice cream, popcorn, junk food. I will be a regular at the salad bar now. I look at others my age there and wonder if they are widowed too.

Comment by mcbeth (Mary Beth) on July 2, 2017 at 1:26pm

When Tom and I first got married he was a very picky eater, he didn't even know what salt & pepper were. Down through the years, he loosened up and learned to like a lot more things but he wasn't fond of anything that was healthy and I learned to fix what he liked. I would find new recipes, more on the healthy side, that I would have loved but he always poo-pooed them. Now that he is gone I have no clue what some of those recipes are. I go to the store and still buy and fix things that he would like. I at look at things and some days I'm not even sure what I like. I guess I will eventually get to the point where I start to fix things that I like, fish, oyster stew. Heck I have just graduated from eating my dinner out of the pan to using paper plates, baby steps I think.


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