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Born in the 50s

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Members: 711
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Discussion Forum

TRAVELING ALONE?

Started by CarolinaHeart. Last reply by TCHA Mar 29. 78 Replies

Problems with moving

Started by Racingfan60. Last reply by Melissa Mar 10. 2 Replies

Companionship

Started by Tess. Last reply by Beansy Feb 9. 21 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by Drewlady on August 13, 2011 at 8:46am

 

Hello all !  A few months ago I began subscribing to Tom Blake's free weekly e newsletter Finding love After 50 after someone told me about it. I find it funny and informative with adventures and misadventures of women and men.Including widow/ers. The newsletters and books sprang from his newspapers columns in California.  To subscribe email him at tompblake @ gmail.com  or write to him at Finding love After 50 P.O. Box 442 Dana Point, Ca 92629   Take care of yourselves !

Comment by juliefx on August 11, 2011 at 6:03pm
sallystarre,i know how you feel.if i have a good day ,i just know that it might be the next day or the day after that i am going back again,and i cry so so much, i just take each day, because i know that i will feel the lose again.I miss my beloved so much,he was everything to me,i try every day to say come on,do it for the children,i know they are hurting but they forget so am i.xxxx
Comment by mahagen on August 11, 2011 at 1:21pm

Fixing things around the house.  Last week I broke my garbage disposal.  I didn't want to try to replace it myself, so I called the plumber!  Oh my goodness, got the bill today.....$377.27.  If I had known it would be that much, I might have tried to do it myself first!  Oh well, live and learn! 

 

I have a friend whose husband has been out of work for quite some time.  I told her he should open a rent-a-husband business, to do some of those things single women don't want to do, or don't know how to do themselve.  Clean out the gutters, wash the siding, till the garden, mend a fence!

Comment by tink on August 11, 2011 at 1:16pm

Moving forward one day then back the next   that is how it goes.  It will be 7

years on Tuesday the 16th that my husband Jack was told he had stage four

lung cancer  Seems long ago some days then just like yesterday on others.

Yes we do carry on and do things that our men did but unless you have a live in handyman what else do you do  I personnally can not afford all that. I am

lucky I have friends to help.   It also seems that things go in three"s has anyone else noticed this.

 

As for dating sites I have tried them all  and in my opionion none work.  It is just luck or it is meant to be when you run into a new man.  My first husband had been dead 5 1/2 years when a friend introduced me to my second husband  now I am waiting for the third to come along If it happens it happens

if not I guess it has to be okay.  I get out to different things there is a mix and mingle group here in Calgary that has a few things to do  they have a

Sunday night dinner think every week at different resturants.  Now that I am

taking this new career it is keeping me busy.  If any one would like to think

about doing a group cruise someplace  so that we would all have to oppertunity to meet each other   let me know.

 

Hey I guess I cope because I am an army brat and every 2 years when I was

growing up we moved  so I think that is what helps me start over.

 

well take care everyone and keep smiling

Comment by SallyStarre on August 11, 2011 at 5:53am
  • My life with my husband was a technicolor movie - now it's black and white.  Trying to keep moving forward.  Some days are better than others.
Comment by Marsha on August 10, 2011 at 6:39pm
Lanzini and Mary99 you give me hope. Right now I guess you could say I'm renesting. Worked on the outside of the house and now have to work inside. No social life as of yet though I do tell myself if I live another 20 years I should consider the possibility of someone else in my life. So hard to imagine as it's just going on 7 months for me. Also wonder if I want to open myself up to this type of pain again. Lanzini you give me hope for when I get a couple of years down the road. Everything too new right now. Thank you for sharing! I'm enjoying the conversation.
Comment by flamingt on August 10, 2011 at 6:11pm

That's it...you need to find your equilibrium.  I have tons and tons of books...and Canfield is awesome.  Right here in front of my his his newest Key to Living the Law of Attraction.  A simple guide to creating the life of your dreams.  "Once you make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen"....Ralph Waldo Emerson.

 

eHarmony was interesting, match.com brought out the widow hunters, didn't get to plentyoffish...so I went dancing!  I tried all types....and the one that I didn't think I'd ever like has become my favorite - Country!  Now my plan is to learn more than the electric slide and slapandleather!  All those dances make me feel so awesome.

 

The company I have now is awesome....he is no match to my Larry...BUT he has brought my spirituality back to me, something I let go when I married my Larry...a confirmed Athiest.  BUT....now I have something different...and he may not be here in my life forever...but right now....I'm happy and so is he.  When the "happy" goes away, so shall we!

Comment by shirley on August 10, 2011 at 6:07pm
Been there done that with on-line dating sites. It may happen someday, but nothing going on now.
Comment by Mary99 on August 10, 2011 at 5:31pm

Oh lanzini, I have looked - eharmony, match.com, and plentyoffish - so far not much to write about.  I did chat with a few men, both on line and on the phone - nothing to pursue so far.  I have decided that I can take the time to be selective.  I don't want to find someone just for the sake of finding someone.

 

There'll be someone, eventually. I'm sure of it.  I'm open to it - and I believe that the heart can expand to hold more love.  I don't think that Tom was my last and only great love. And I don't feel guilty about it at all.  We never discussed it - whether he would expect me to go on to a new relationship or remain alone the rest of my life. I cannot picture Tom remaining alone if I had been the one who died.  Like I said before, "if he didn't like it, he shoulda stayed."

 

So, for the time being, I am redoing the house, have taken a few trips, am keeping up the business, and getting back my equilibrium.  I just bought Jack Canfield's "The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be".  It's about making changes by changing your thinking.  I am going to be my new project - and I'm looking forward to it. 

Comment by flamingt on August 10, 2011 at 1:16pm

You know....it seems almost like a "re-nesting" of ourselves.  When my son (the last kid out) left, I changed his whole bedroom...made is a guest room and moved him (for weekends home) into the room that was his eldest sisters.

After Larry's death, not only did I buy new bedroom furniture and a new bed, then I redid the other bedrooms so when the kids came to visit it was "better".

I can reflect now....almost 4 years later...I am managed to change EVERYTHING!  I rented that house out to good renters, bought another house 250 miles away in the Bay Area.  Painted and cleaned and gardened and rented a room out in the house to my current "room mate".  I met him on the internet and the change in me has been significant!!!!  No wonder my kids aren't talking to me anymore! 

 

They have told me "you have changed so much, you aren't the same mother we used to know".  My room mate "friend" tells me "of course you've changed!  You lost weight, you are healthier than you have been in years.  You go and dance and enjoy yourself, AND you have traveled to places that you couldn't go to because your husband was ill.  You deserve this time, you should enjoy these changes, and not feel guilty about it at all."  

I have found new friends who didn't know Larry.  I get a pang when I visit our friends that were mutually ours together....still!  They love the new me.  They have told me that they still love me and support me 100%.  

So my dilemma is, when my daughter comes around and starts dialogue...to remind myself that I don't want drama of "history" because I rented the house out that he and I built together.

So......go out, dance!  Sign on to eHarmony and don't be afraid.  You aren't replacing your spouse...you are creating a new friend for life that can only uplift you and give you joy!!!!

Take baby steps.  Your mind will play games with you.  You will feel "guilty" if you are having too much fun.  But utmost remember...you came into this life to have joy....not depression.

 

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