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Born in the 50s

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Problems with moving

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Comment Wall


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Comment by Abby on July 28, 2011 at 4:41pm

I have not been on line lately as I have been busy and feeling "pretty ok" for a stretch and then BOOM/CRASH I feel like my life has come crashing down around me for the zillionth time. I am trying to see if there are any triggers and sometimes there are, but other times, for no apparent reason, I get so angry and so sad and go buzerk at my husband for leaving me! I know this is irrational but it is the truth. When will this roller coaster end and when will I start to move upward with the odd blimp instead of feelings of being OK with more often than not the overwhelming sadness?  You are all one understands our pain more than we do. You just don't put in your time and then move on and build a new life. I must say that I am so tired and worn out from feelings of sadness and from missing my husband so much that it aches.  I am just over 6 months out and I feel like everyone around me feels like I should start coming out of my depression. I am soooo tired of "acting" in public, so tired of people asking me "how are you doing?" I feel like saying I am SUPER NEVER the hell do they think I am doing?  I lost my life partner, the only man I ever loved and my life is lonely, empty and filled with sadness. Yes, I have a lot to be grateful for but  I really  do not feel that way. I just don't understand why these kinds of horrible things happen and yes I wonder, selfishly, why me? why my husband? we had everything a couple could ever want and now I have only memories of happier times.

Thanks for listening. Good to be checking back to make sure I am not going totally insane.


Comment by shirley on July 28, 2011 at 3:01pm

Yes, this journey will likely having you questioning your sanity at some point.

Probably one of the best things we can do is reach out to each other so we don't feel so alone in our craziness.

Comment by Robert's Baby on July 28, 2011 at 12:43pm

I'm really glad that someone else relates this experience to being 'biploar'! That's exactly how I feel sometimes. Some days filled with great hope and expectation and then the crash! I had begun to wonder if I needed medical attention but this site and your comments help me to understand I'm just walking down a road that has no detour .... just have to walk the path before me.


Comment by Elle on July 27, 2011 at 9:28pm
LOL--thank you, wannabmartha. I think we would ALL agree that widowhood invokes a very unique "craziness" that has it's very own personality that only we widows can identify---or at least understand and relate to! I was just sharing with a WV friend in an email how it feels very much "bipolar"! Happy one hour, crying the next. Feeling like you're moving in a positive direction, then feeling like you cannot even move (or breathe) at all! Feeling like there's hope, then feeling devastated---again. Up and down, up and down. Crazy-making. But we are all in this thing together, and that somehow makes it a little, tiny bit more bearable. WV is a life-saver, cherry flavored! (The red ones were always the best!) So glad I found this place---and you all!
Comment by wannabmartha on July 27, 2011 at 7:44pm

Hi you all!

Elle, I'm so glad that you joined us here in the group "born in the 50's" It's nice to meet you. =)

Your comments to everyone here is so welcome and nice. This widow stuff is for sure crazy making but I like your idea of being crazy together!

Comment by Elle on July 25, 2011 at 10:42am

Hello, all. I finally admitted I was born in the 50's and joined this group....I was thinking, "Well, it was LATE 50's, so can I sneak into the 60's group??" (LoL) Nah, the 50's were great times, and I am happy to be a card-carrying member of the Baby Boomer generation.

I can certainly relate to many of you here. SallyStarre, yes, 2 steps forward, 10 steps back. Sometimes, it feels like 1000 steps back, doesn't it? (Same for ShadowandCloud, obviously!) Mary99, you make me nervous---I have no idea how you are getting through the stresses of your life. I could say just "b-r-e-a-t-h-e..." but I wonder when you will have time to do even that! I guess all we can do is take one single day at a time, and one "event" at a time. I could so relate to your crying on the floor, amongst the rubble. I bet you were thinking, "Here I am, taking down this wall, trying to move forward--but I'd SO much rather have that old paneling back, along WITH my husband!" That's exactly what I would be thinking! Thank you all for your wonderful posts--I enjoyed reading them. This widowhood is crazy-making behavior, isn't it!? In my mind, it's okay---we can all be "crazy" together!! And this kind of crazy is not so bad, but necessary to wade (or nearly drown!) through the waves of emotions that only WE can understand and relate to. Blessings, all.  

Comment by SallyStarre on July 22, 2011 at 4:32am
Thanks Dawn.  Been wondering where you were.  How is your daughter doing?
Comment by patsy on July 21, 2011 at 5:13pm

@Mary99, I've been through the skunk-dog disaster a couple of times. I know too well what you went through last night. I certainly sympathize with your financial worries too. I lost my husband's income - S.S. disability was not great, but it was more than my income - and I just barely get by on my little income. But you have kept it going for 2 1/2 years, so you must be doing something right!


4 p.m. is not too early for a glass of wine.

Comment by SallyStarre on July 21, 2011 at 4:05pm
Having a bad couple of days.  It all started when I had to take my mom to the ER in Boston....cut open the wounds I'm trying to heal.  Trying to stay positive but it is so difficult.  2 steps forward 10 steps back.
Comment by Mary99 on July 21, 2011 at 12:23pm
Oh yes, and I let the dog out at 2:30 last night when she yipped - but she didn't need to pee, she heard an animal.  Her friend was a skunk, and by the time I ran to the store for supplies, gave her a bath (not so gently I confess), sprayed Febreeze everywhere, it was 4 a.m. before I laid back down.  And I couldn't even be in my own bedroom since it faces the side of the house where the skunk sprayed and my bedroom smelled of it.  Has not been a good week.

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