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Born in the 50s

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Comment by puddy on July 20, 2011 at 7:24pm
Yeah...how do you re-do all the plans, hopes and dreams we all made for retirement....we bought the condo...saved for the boat...everything was ready to retire to our dream place.  Poof...gonzo...I cry for the past, present and future...that is a lot of grieving we all have to do...I think that is why it takes so long!   2 months...and counting...hopefully I will quit doing that one of these days.   Mary99....you are too funny...I would have to think what kind of fruit I would like.....Everyone sleep tight....tomorrow is another day.
Comment by shirley on July 20, 2011 at 4:30pm

To Mary99- There are many similarities to our stories. I get it - all of it. My LH was going to retire and we were going to move near the ocean and spend time visiting our sons. Never happened. Now I don't know where I belong.

Dating or another relationship is questionable. It's a lot of work to get just the right piece of fruit, so to speak. I hear ya, sista.

Comment by mahagen on July 20, 2011 at 9:57am

Mary,

Where can I find that produce department? 

 

I was 2 1/2 months from early retirement when Mike was diagnosed.  Now, I don't know when I will be able to retire!   Well, at least I have a job!

Comment by Mary99 on July 20, 2011 at 9:36am

It'll be 3 years on November 3rd - It's hard to wrap my head around what life was like 5 years ago.  I look back on the me of 5 years ago and think how naive I was, thinking that I had my life all planned out.  I was just going to work a little longer before I retired; then I was going to spend my time fixing up the house to sell it.  When I was done, Tom would retire, and 'poof' the house would be sold and we would move to the lake house up north.  Well, NONE of that happened.  I am fixing up the house, because it needs it and because I couldn't stand not changing things up.  But the economy keeps getting worse (regardless of what the talking heads say) so I am continuing to work and at this rate it'll be 5 years before I can quit. 

 

And I can't really say when - or if - I'll ever move to the lake house.  It's isolated, which was great for the two of us, but not so wonderful for one.  I'm afraid I'll turn into the resident crazy lady with the 63 cats (and no social life). 

 

Some days I'm okay with the person I have become in the last 2 years - and sometimes I feel incomplete.  I definitely feel cheated.  We put in all that work; on our relationship, on our careers, on our kids, on the lake house.  We were within 5 years of grabbing the brass ring.  I look at couples celebrating 50 - 60 years of marriage and wonder why they were graced with a long life together and we weren't.  Of course, I don't really know these people and what they're like to get along with - maybe they weren't "graced" so much as were "cursed" with the extra time.  It's a petty thought and I should be above that, but sometimes I'm jealous.

 

And, dating at this age?  I wasn't that good at it back in my 20s!  If the right man crossed my path, I would jump back into dating and a relationship again; but it's not like I can go and pick him up in the produce aisle.  But just picture it, pick a man that's not too green and not too ripe, squeeze him just a little to see how firm he is,  give him a thump to see how solid he is, sniff him to see if he smells 'right', and check the price to make sure you can afford him.  If it weren't for the assault charges it could be a good plan.

 

Thanks for listening.

Comment by tink on July 19, 2011 at 5:02pm

Hi Juliefx

 

at 15 weeks we were all like that you are only in the early stages  it does get better you will have some good days and some bad days  just take care

Comment by juliefx on July 19, 2011 at 3:12pm
well 15 weeks,and i seem to be getting worse,i want my micky back in my life,i miss him,i love him.He was everything to me,my soulmatexxxxxxxxxx
Comment by tink on July 17, 2011 at 12:20pm

Grief is hard to overcome  It will be 7 years in November for me  I can say I

am moving on  but I still miss Jack the bad times are weekends and holidays

that's when you feel alone.  living alone and being lonely are 2 different things

hey crying is natural I still have moments  sometimes the moments are about

my Dad who died 20 years ago then there is my first husband that has been

24 years.  so  grief goes for each individual person  a different way.  I am over the grief but the missing never goes away  even when  I married the 2 nd

time I still has moments about my first husband  The man I married the second time was very kind and understanding  now I am going on a different

career line  and am a little scared  so no matter what happens life still goes on

but we survive and we are stronger because of it take care everyone and

have a good week 

Comment by puddy on July 17, 2011 at 9:14am
BOBURLY,   I liked your posting...I am going to keep that...maybe that will give me courage and drive to get through this.  Grief is the most unpleasant feeling in life right now.  But gotta go through it to get to the other side whereever the heck that is.  This has been a bad day....kudos to all those kayakers and canoe...folks...I cannot swim..so not comfortable in those type of boats.  I do a lot of walking to get outdoors...it does seem to help.  I do not want to even think about this winter ---- in a lonely house.  YUCKY!   SallyStarre hang in there...I have been crying today too...just missing him.  It is crazy what causes us to cry.....but I believe it cleanses the soul and is good to get out!
Comment by mahagen on July 17, 2011 at 7:53am

I used to say that ketchup was Mike's favorite vegitable!  I don't buy it nearly as often now! 

Comment by North54 on July 17, 2011 at 7:10am
SallyStarre...Am hoping you enjoyed the kayaking...my husband and I canoed and kayaked alot....starting to get back into those things and agree it is helping me deal with my life as it is today. Wanting to get outdoors but am wondering if just avoiding housework, lol.
 

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