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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the 50s

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Members: 743
Latest Activity: 21 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Dating

Started by Mike. Last reply by Alysoun Nov 30, 2018. 24 Replies

Buying A House

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter Oct 6, 2018. 13 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by tink on October 18, 2011 at 1:04pm

hi there yes I think the second year is harder than the first . The first everyone

is still in touch  and it is all new, The second year it seems everyone stays away

they think you should be over it. And some even think you should be dating again

Well for those who have never been there they can not phantom the life of widowhood so they say stupid things.  When my first husband died almost

25 years ago I was 35  I had people say your young you will remarry and have

children. I did not have children and still don't.  Things like this are said more

often in the second year and you want to punch the person in the nose.. Things even out towards the end of the second year and you start to be comfortable if there is a way to be comfortable with widowhood,  Anyway

I am now almost at my 7 year mark the second time around. Poppy Girl

it does get easier   but you never forget. take care and keep smiling

 

Comment by Mary99 on October 18, 2011 at 12:48pm

Poppys Girl - Hang in there.  I too figured that the second year should be better since I'd been through all the holidays and anniversaries before.  But, lo and behold, it wasn't instantly better just because I had reached the one year mark.  That added another whole layer of depression - "how long before I feel like living again?"

Now I am ending my third year - and it's definitely an improvement over ending my first year or even my second year. You never forget, but you can build a new life, a good life even.  Just keep taking it one day at a time.

Comment by wannabmartha on October 16, 2011 at 8:36pm
oops......."that" I feel  ;-)
Comment by wannabmartha on October 16, 2011 at 8:35pm

I've been preoccupied with my daughter-in-laws remarriage. What a hurdle for me emotionally! Anyway, I've been reading how much you all are supporting each other and I'm so blessed and inspired! You are all AMAZING! The words you all post are exactly the ones the I feel so much of the time. Thank you!

I thought I remember reading about someone who had to continue running a business that their husband had run.........are you out there? I'd love to talk (email I mean)

Comment by shirley on October 16, 2011 at 1:05pm

@ Poppys Girl-

Know exactly how you feel and I imagine I'm not the only one. I'll send big virtual (((hugs))) to you and hope you find inner strength to continue on this most difficult journey. 

Comment by Poppys Girl on October 15, 2011 at 12:26pm

Hello,

My husband & I were both born in 1955, He passed away September 2010 at the age of 55. We were married for 36 years, more than half my lifetime. I am finding it very hard to go on, adjust to this horrible change my life has taken. I feel like I have been dropped into a different place that is no longer famillar. Living in the twlight zone watching people go by. It has been a year and this second year feels worse. We were suppose to grow old together...did not happen. Going on God's strength as I have none.  His love and blessings to all of you.

Comment by Drewlady on October 1, 2011 at 8:43pm

Hello everyone. Just posted my blog, tonight it's Widow In Transition/Drewlady.  

I've been away for a while.

                                                                      Take care!!

Comment by Lisa on October 1, 2011 at 2:06pm

My Michael's been gone more almost 3 years and tomorrow is his birthday.

I've been sitting, sad and angry.  It's still lonesome, I don't get me sometimes.  I push so hard to process and progress and today it's dark,  I knew it would be.  I just wanted to open up .  It gets better but some days it's a big hurt.

Comment by Patricia on October 1, 2011 at 11:35am

Abby, it was Supa and all of her friends that saved me.  I was so lost and I felt everyone had given up on me.  I was so afraid of living and afraid of dying.  Someone mentioned this page to my sister who in turn told me and it was amazing. 

Just to find out I wasn't alone and that my feelings were "normal"  helped me so much.  I thought I was the only person who had ever grieved for so long.  People were saying such cruel things to me that just broke my heart. 

They all thought I should be OVER it and I wasn't even close.  When I think now that it had only been about 2 years then and I had also lost my sister, and my job (which was stolen by my best friend while I was on bereavement leave) I get so angry at them all.  I swear I could have been dead in my bed for a week and noone would have noticed.

If I am helping just one person it means the world to me because I love this page and these people and know how important it is to have people to talk to that understand.

I still have lots of emotion and venting to do as you can see from my previous comments but I know I can come here and just pour my heart out and I always feel better.  The comments from all of you are icing on the cake.

Thanks and hugs to everyone.  You have lots of friends here. xo

Comment by Patricia on October 1, 2011 at 11:20am
Pumpkin, you are right.  Just try not to beat yourself up if you're not ready.  You will get there eventually and only when you are ready.  There is no magic number of days, months or years.  Be really kind to yourself. xo
 

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