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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Born in the 50s

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Comment by pumpkin on September 25, 2011 at 10:41am

Hello Everyone,

On Sept 30th my husband will have been gone for 26 months. I have to tell those who are newer to the widow world that I think that things are getting a little easier. Instead of 1 step forward 2 steps back it seems as though some days it's 2 steps forward and only 1 step back. But beware, that also goes in phases. I talk to myself every day saying that how we deal with terrible things in life is a choice- we either become bitter or we make a conscious decision to push forward, do the best that we can and see what happens. It sucks sometimes but we are in control of how we deal with tragedy. Believe me, I could never have said this just 1 year ago. Now, let's see me walk the walk.

Comment by Marsha on September 24, 2011 at 5:27pm
Welcome Debbie. Glad you found WV- just sorry for the reason you are here. The one club none of us want to be a part of. It's a good site to find support and people who truly understand. ((((HUGS))))
Comment by Debbie on September 24, 2011 at 5:13pm
Hi, I lost my husband to suicide on 12-22-2008 and it's been downhill since then. I'm glad I found this site and I'm sorry for everyone's loss.
Comment by SallyStarre on September 22, 2011 at 4:46am
Thank you all for the good wishes. It was a difficult day. I did meet some friends after work for a bit but all the time my heart was with my Russ. Do not like this journey we are on. Peace to you all.
Comment by Marsha on September 21, 2011 at 2:11pm
Happy birthday Sally. Even though this is the first one without your husband physically here, know he is with you. I planned my vacation to visit my daughter and granddaughters around my birthday. Intend to do it again next year for my 60th. Like flamingt's suggestion of throwing your own birthday party too. Believe we have to find ways to move on with our lives. It will take time but I know we will all get there. Thinking of you today. ((((Sally)))))
Comment by shirley on September 21, 2011 at 10:50am
To flamingt- question. How do you make NEW friends?? It took 30+ years to get my OLD friends and I'm finding it very difficult to find people who are not in relationships and want to put energy into becoming friends.
Comment by Kaye (Nextstep11) on September 21, 2011 at 10:22am
You're in my thoughts Sally. Sending you a big hug. You're doing the best you can and I am so proud of you!
Comment by flamingt on September 21, 2011 at 9:52am
Happy Birthday Sally.  I'm also sorry you are by yourself on your birthday.  It took me a couple of years to get over my loss.  This year, when I turned 60, I decided to throw my own birthday party.  You know what?  People came and I had fun for the first time in many decades!  You see....I always prepared the birthday parties for everyone else, do the organizing, did the inviting, hosted it....but no one (even my sweet late husband) ever did that for me!  So...here'a goal you....go make NEW friends, and on your 62nd birthday hold one big party for yourself!!!  It's okay to do that.  For some reason, I had to let go of that feeling of "not worthy" and move it to "damn, I'm good and I'm celebrating!"  It took awhile...but I'm certainly smiling more now!
Comment by shirley on September 21, 2011 at 9:07am
Happy Birthday Sally. I know how hard these birthdays/holidays, etc can be and my heart is with you. I think it's pretty telling that you had your first dream about your LH on your birthday, perhaps his way of visiting you. I know it's so sad and lonely feeling. ((Hugs))
Comment by jerseygirl22 on September 21, 2011 at 9:05am

good morning sallystare,

first of all i'm sorry you are alone on your birthday. i'm sorry for your loss of your husband. haven't had any dreams of my husband yet he's been gone for nine years now. hugs to you jerseygirl  (vikki)

 

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