This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Born in the 50s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Patience (Diane) is the group greeter.

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Discussion Forum

Camp Widow San Diego

Started by Kathy. Last reply by Dianne in Nevada Jul 9. 8 Replies

social security widow/widower benefits

Started by Lissa. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Jun 27. 16 Replies

Crazy - taxes

Started by KJPE. Last reply by cupspinner Apr 10. 4 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by dazed on June 21, 2011 at 1:11pm
I'm new on this website.  My husband passed away April 22, 2009 at the age of 59.  He had a heart attack during the night while away on a business trip.  His business collegues found him dead in his bed the next morning.   I was unable to find any type of a support group until I found this website.  It has helped me immensely to see how far I've come in 26 months.  Sometimes it doesn't seem like I have come very far, but I have.  I just want to thank all of you for your comments.  And I want all of you who are early in your grief to know that it does get easier with time.   
Comment by wannabmartha on June 16, 2011 at 4:26pm
Welcome newcomers! I hope you're finding your way around okay.
Comment by DrummerGroupie (Christine) on June 14, 2011 at 7:02am

Hi Nextstep -

I am fairly new here too - but I am glad that you have found this website.  It is so important to be able to interact with people who "get it" - who are moving along the same journey.  My husband passed away on May 4, 2010 unexpectedly in his sleep - he was only 52.  This past year has been the most difficult of my life.....but somehow, one baby step at a time, I am still here. 

Somedays are 2 steps forward and 3 steps back, but I guess that is part of this new "normal". 

Hope you have a peaceful week.

Comment by Kaye (Nextstep11) on June 14, 2011 at 6:30am

Thanks for the welcome Marly.

I am sorry for your loss, it must have been very difficult for you. 


Coincidentally, I was born in Chicago, but most of my growing up was on the East Coast.

How's your Tuesday going?


Comment by Kaye (Nextstep11) on June 14, 2011 at 5:58am

Hello all,

I'm a new member; saying hello!


My husband died 12/16/2010 of a Brain tumor metastisized from Lung Cancer.

Currently, I am taking a break from working but am beginning to think about back to work but hopefully, in a field that I feel makes a difference.

I can very much relate to not being the same person and having entirely different priorties. 


My area has very few ongoing grief support meetings and the 6 week programs are not enough for me. 

Luckily, I was pointed this way by a another widow.




Comment by wannabmartha on June 10, 2011 at 8:21am

Oh no! I'm not sorry at all. I like getting to know you a little better. I know what you mean when you say that you wish you had never encouraged him to take up hang gliding. Sometimes I wish that I never encouraged my husband to fly either. It would've been a miserable existence though because he loved it so much. Even though it wasn't my favorite thing to do, it allowed us to travel together which was a lot of fun.

You might be interested in a discussion out there (under forums) about losing your home after becoming a widow. I think there are several discussions out there about finances that you might find helpful. It's pretty expensive in New York isn't it? It is here in Southern California!

Comment by patsy on June 10, 2011 at 4:52am
Hi wannbmartha, yes, he was an "avid" hang glider pilot. He had been flying for 3 years, which is still considered a novice in that sport. He could fly great, but he always struggled with landing and had had a couple of serious landings before. He loved it so much that we became 'snowbirds' so he could practice flying in FL during the winter. We went down there for three winters. I work as an online tutor, so as long as I have my laptop and an Internet connection, I can still work wherever I am.  I took a couple of "lessons", and I loved it, but I knew absolutely that I do not have what it takes to learn (like skiing). The lessons are not cheap and the equipment is VERY expensive. So I was content to be a hang-glider's wife.  Nowadays I have NOTHING to do with the sport. I wish we  had never heard of it and that I had not encouraged him to try it in the first place, but then again I know that he would have missed out on finally finding a hobby that he loved. Because I lost his income, I have had to move away from our home in VT because I cannot afford to live there alone. My husband's family lives here in the Catskills-Hudson Valley region and I am very close to them, so I rent a small house in this area.  I spend most of my time at the computer with my tutoring work to try to make enough money to pay my monthly bills. I only have family to socialize with, but they all work out of the home and have families that keep them very busy. Besides, everything costs money I don't have to spend. So, I guess I just exist day-to-day. I am sorry I am so long-winded with this post. I'll bet you are sorry you asked. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Comment by wannabmartha on June 9, 2011 at 6:47pm
Hi Pattia, I'm the one that lost my husband and son in a plane crash. The accident that took your husband is related. Was he an avid hang glider pilot? Did you ever participate? How are you getting through your days?
Comment by patsy on June 6, 2011 at 5:17pm
Hello everyone, I am Pattia, and I am new here. I began to have stress-related health issues after being widowed 18 months ago. It is mostly under control now with medication to slow my heart rate down and lower my blood pressure, but I learned a lot during that time. I am not the same person, either mentally or physically. I am looking forward to sharing with others here, maybe meeting some if possible.
Comment by Abby on June 6, 2011 at 5:16pm

Thanks for helping me with that. I am sorry for your loss and agree with you about being around positive energy. That woman could not help herself as that is how she feels. It is my interpretation of that that matters. I hope to be in a better place 3 years out of this hell but I guess she is not, sadly.

Take care and stay positive



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