This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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Born in the 50s

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Discussion Forum

Camp Widow San Diego

Started by Kathy. Last reply by Dianne in Nevada Jul 9. 8 Replies

social security widow/widower benefits

Started by Lissa. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Jun 27. 16 Replies

Crazy - taxes

Started by KJPE. Last reply by cupspinner Apr 10. 4 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Abby on June 2, 2011 at 4:16pm

Hi Lin:

I found one on one counselling coupled with good friends and this site a tremendous help for me. I lost my husband on January 20th of this year and while I will say that the intensity of the grief has subsided somewhat, I still have some very low and dark moments.  Having an outlet to cry in and feel supported has been a huge help to me and I hope you consider this option if getting into a group is too long a wait.  We all know your pain and sadly we all have had to go through some excruciating times. I cannot believe I am saying this, but after just over 4 months, I now have the ability to not cry every time someone tells me how sorry they are for my loss.  I feel myself starting to cry but have only recently been able to hold it together. Baby steps, what everyone told me in the beginning that I never believed, DO happen. If they can happen to me they will happen for you. My husband was my best friend, my everything and I miss him so terribly that the pain is palpable. I am at the stage in my grief that I must make the decision to start to rebuild a life without him and I am just not there yet.  There is something about rebuilding my life that makes me feel that I am leaving my love behind. That is where I am having my struggle.

This group is a life saver and I know you will find great comfort here.


Comment by Lin on June 1, 2011 at 4:22pm
thanks for your support ladies, I know you know exactly what it's like, wish we could all sit in a room together and just talk :(  I am so so sorry about the loss of your husband AND your son, oh my gosh, you are still walking and talking.  I can't imagine losing a child, that is the only thing worse than losing your husband.  I am back to work too, I went back 2 weeks after he died, part time for one week and then back to FT.  I know I was a bit crazy but I just could not imagine sitting here all day feeling sorry for myself because that is exactly what I would have done.  I did take a lot of time off to meet with insurance co's, banks, all that garbage.  I'm a social worker so it was a lot easier to deal with others problems than my own.  I still come home and crash...I think it's all I can do to hold it together during the day but when I walk through the door to come home to an empty quiet house it's all right there waiting for me.  Wish those groups would open soon!  I'm definitely ready.
Comment by wannabmartha on May 22, 2011 at 6:39pm
Hi Lin, It seems like you're on the right track with a support group of some kind. My husband and oldest son died in a plane crash in 2009. I found that a particular group didn't meet my needs. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a multiple loss group. I'm not sure if there is such thing. I see a counselor one on one and it's been my lifeline. I'm so glad that you're seeking like minded people. Take care of yourself!
Comment by SallyStarre on May 22, 2011 at 6:25am
Hi Lin - know how you feel.  My husband and best friend died 10 weeks and 1 day ago.  I go from hour to hour as far as feelings go  I went back to work and that seems to help most of the time. I also golf a lot.  I find it helpful to be around my golf friends who knew Russ.  I also have my alone time where I grieve freely. I hope you get into your sessions soon.
Comment by Lin on May 21, 2011 at 8:34pm
Hi folks!  My husband died 9 weeks ago, am waiting to get into a grief support group.  Has anyone done this?  I think it would be more helpful to be with others going through similar feelings rather than seeing a therapist 1:1.  Hope I can start in the next 2-3 weeks, waiting for it to "open."  Seems like one week I am doing "okay" and the next I am so deep into a black hole I can't see any future for myself anywhere.  Not sure where I belong, feel like I belong no where.  My adult sons have been wonderful but it seems like suddenly I have nothing in common with my friends.  Surprises me I guess!
Comment by Abby on May 15, 2011 at 5:54pm


That show is exactly what I thought of when I saw your name. Wow, you two were destined to be together.  We must all be part of the born in the 50's group if we remember!


Comment by wannabmartha on May 15, 2011 at 9:11am
I remember the Donna Reed show! I wish we could bring back those happy days. Awww 39 years together.........I know how hard it is without him. Reruns would be great!
Comment by Dianne in Nevada on May 15, 2011 at 7:55am
When I wrote a welcome to you on your profile page last week, I almost made a comment about the Donna Reed show. But then I figured you might not be old enough to remember it - or might have grown weary of having it brought up. I do so wish we could each have a 'rerun'.
Comment by DonnaReid on May 14, 2011 at 9:51pm

Does anyone remember the Donna Reed show? Well, what are the odds that someone named Donna (me) would meet someone named Reid (my deceased husband) and that they would marry and be together for 39 years?? ...once in a lifetime.


it's over


Wish I could bring him back like they do with the Donna Reed show reruns :(

Comment by Patty D on May 8, 2011 at 4:50pm


I am new here. Born in 1951. My husband 8 years my senior passed away this past Feb 8th of sudden unexpected heart attack. Married 7 and half years and thought I was going to have at least 20 years with him. He was retired and treated me like a queen. He cooked ( Italian ), cleaned, laundry , helped all his friends. We loved each other deeply. I miss stroking his cheek and telling him how handsome he was. I actually had a good weekend. Did not cry as much. I ventured out to a car show and visited with our friends and today had lunch with my daughter and tonight went to the pool. It is finally sinking in that he is not coming back and it seems the more I keep busy the easier it is for me. I hate that he is gone. He was my second marriage after being divorced for 23 years and I still love him.


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