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Born in the 50s

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Discussion Forum

Anyone experiencing loneliness?

Started by bblue5. Last reply by Don 8 hours ago. 13 Replies

Anniversary Today

Started by jlsrdh. Last reply by jlsrdh Oct 5. 7 Replies

social security widow/widower benefits

Started by Lissa. Last reply by booktime (Susan) Sep 10. 17 Replies

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Comment by mahagen on October 19, 2011 at 6:19am
1mrypp, we have all been there.  I too wonder where I will find joy again.  That is part of my daily prayer, "please help me find joy"  Nine months isn't very long.  Don't think you should be over it by now, and ready to quit crying.  I'm so sorry you had to find this place, but hopefully, we can all help each other.
Comment by 1mrypp on October 19, 2011 at 6:10am
Hi. I am a new member. In an attempt to find comfort ...to meet a kindred soul who can relate...I stumbled into this website. My darling has been gone 9 months. I miss him so much I don't think I can stand it. My guts are twisted up constantly, I cry hard whenever I am alone. I have cried more since january 21st than I have in my whole life put together - actually, that is the biggest understatement of a all time. I see no more joy in life. The thought of a future without him brings me to tears and despair. I apologize for my selfishness. I know all of you are grieving and am very so sorry for your loss.
Comment by mahagen on October 19, 2011 at 5:05am
 It's a gray, rainy day here.  October....didn't think about this being a hard month, but it is.  Mike loved October.  We usually took a couple Fridays off to play: go to apple orchards and pumpkin patches, maybe start Christmas shopping.  And there is FOOTBALL!   

 

And then, Oct 14 is my service anniversary at work.  Last Friday marked 20 years with the company.  That day was never supposed to happen.  I was supposed to retire in 2008, but instead, I had to become the sole support of us, the us that doesn't exist anymore.  My boss got me a cake, most everyone came over and said, "Congratulations, that's great!", but it wasn't something I wanted to celebrate, as it was never supposed to happen.  The fact that it did happen emphasized that our plans didn't work out. Today is the Service Anniversary Luncheon.  The company bigwigs will be there to tell us how great it is that we made these milestones of 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 years.  I will paste a fake smile on my face, and try to look down when the tears start to well in my eyes. 

And I will get through Sunday, which will mark 18 months since Mike was called Home.

Comment by tink on October 18, 2011 at 1:04pm

hi there yes I think the second year is harder than the first . The first everyone

is still in touch  and it is all new, The second year it seems everyone stays away

they think you should be over it. And some even think you should be dating again

Well for those who have never been there they can not phantom the life of widowhood so they say stupid things.  When my first husband died almost

25 years ago I was 35  I had people say your young you will remarry and have

children. I did not have children and still don't.  Things like this are said more

often in the second year and you want to punch the person in the nose.. Things even out towards the end of the second year and you start to be comfortable if there is a way to be comfortable with widowhood,  Anyway

I am now almost at my 7 year mark the second time around. Poppy Girl

it does get easier   but you never forget. take care and keep smiling

 

Comment by Mary99 on October 18, 2011 at 12:48pm

Poppys Girl - Hang in there.  I too figured that the second year should be better since I'd been through all the holidays and anniversaries before.  But, lo and behold, it wasn't instantly better just because I had reached the one year mark.  That added another whole layer of depression - "how long before I feel like living again?"

Now I am ending my third year - and it's definitely an improvement over ending my first year or even my second year. You never forget, but you can build a new life, a good life even.  Just keep taking it one day at a time.

Comment by wannabmartha on October 16, 2011 at 8:36pm
oops......."that" I feel  ;-)
Comment by wannabmartha on October 16, 2011 at 8:35pm

I've been preoccupied with my daughter-in-laws remarriage. What a hurdle for me emotionally! Anyway, I've been reading how much you all are supporting each other and I'm so blessed and inspired! You are all AMAZING! The words you all post are exactly the ones the I feel so much of the time. Thank you!

I thought I remember reading about someone who had to continue running a business that their husband had run.........are you out there? I'd love to talk (email I mean)

Comment by shirley on October 16, 2011 at 1:05pm

@ Poppys Girl-

Know exactly how you feel and I imagine I'm not the only one. I'll send big virtual (((hugs))) to you and hope you find inner strength to continue on this most difficult journey. 

Comment by Poppys Girl on October 15, 2011 at 12:26pm

Hello,

My husband & I were both born in 1955, He passed away September 2010 at the age of 55. We were married for 36 years, more than half my lifetime. I am finding it very hard to go on, adjust to this horrible change my life has taken. I feel like I have been dropped into a different place that is no longer famillar. Living in the twlight zone watching people go by. It has been a year and this second year feels worse. We were suppose to grow old together...did not happen. Going on God's strength as I have none.  His love and blessings to all of you.

Comment by Drewlady on October 1, 2011 at 8:43pm

Hello everyone. Just posted my blog, tonight it's Widow In Transition/Drewlady.  

I've been away for a while.

                                                                      Take care!!

 

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