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Born in the 50s

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Members: 751
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Camp Widow San Diego

Started by Kathy. Last reply by Dianne in Nevada Jul 9. 8 Replies

social security widow/widower benefits

Started by Lissa. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Jun 27. 16 Replies

Crazy - taxes

Started by KJPE. Last reply by cupspinner Apr 10. 4 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by CarLady 2 hours ago

My husband Bill passed September 2013; our daughter married July 2016 and wore a locket with his picture in it. Her brother and I walked her down the aisle and we all felt Bill’s presence that day. It was the first truly happy occasion after his passing.  

Comment by Nannie 2 hours ago

Melissa that is a lovely idea...my youngest married in Nov 2011, My husband passed March 2011...I don't know how either of us did it.....but we did...and her wedding was beautiful...I don't think I looked anything like me in pictures....and I would guess I put grief on hold....although he was her stepfather ..he was going to walk her down the aisle...her biological father did at the last minute...we did the best we could....and you will also....

Comment by Melissa 2 hours ago

Thank you all so much. Gilbert's picture will be on a little table at the reception - my son's idea. I know; I believe he will be there in some way if only through the love most of the guests felt for him.

It will be a good thing.

My love to you all.

Comment by Roxi 16 hours ago

Melissa you'll have a very emotional day..the wedding of your son...cry as you can...for the happiness for missing Gilbert for your pain...and i hope you'll feel better...i wish you all the best- riet there's no need to explain to all the people... Only 2 close friends know how i feel...people can't understand, i don't blame them 'cos i did the same before when some friends lose husband or wife...you can really understand when you live the loss on your skin...hugs to all ciao Roxi

Comment by riet 19 hours ago

Dear Melissa,

I could not say it better as LP: "See what we're doing?" You'd love this! We're carrying on as you'd want".  I feel the same about it. But miss him terribly every time of course.
But to stand alone on this occasion is so "lonely," while you and the two of you could have seen with satisfaction how life went on thanks to your common good care. How thanks to your "unity" something good came again. Even if it's Gilbert's stepson. I hope you feel his presence on this day.

Chef John and Shelley, here too "people" think that it is gradually becoming "normal" for me. I have to explain again and again that my life is still "full" with my dear husband. That it will stay that way and that I cannot and will not have room for someone else in my life. If I can't have my love, then nobody.

I  do want a lot of friends and acquaintances, but that "one" place is not and never available again. My husband is in my mind every moment of day and night. And that's what I want.
But why do I have to explain this over and over again?

Melissa, I hope you will have some joy and happiness on this day.  Hugs to all of you.

Comment by chef (John) yesterday

Hugs, Melissa.

Shelly, I'm almost envious. People were asking me when I was going to begin dating when I hit four months, because I was supposed "to get on with my life". I'm a few days short of hitting the eight-year mark--and am still single. Go figure... :-)

Comment by shelley yesterday

I know what you mean, Melissa.  Can't get away with the total indulgence in sadness anymore.  Almost 20 months now.  People are less sympathetic, less patient.  Can feel the judgment.  

Your son's wedding-  of course you have to go and it will be hard.  I'm sorry you'll be without Gilbert.  

Comment by LP yesterday

Nothing is too whiny for us..this is place to let it all out, because, honestly, where else can we?

a son’s wedding without your husband sounds really tough! With these kinds of family things, I find it helps to talk to my husband in my head- so time spent with my stepdaughter and grandkids, I’m saying to C “See what we’re doing? You’d love this! We’re carrying on as you’d want”. I can’t say it fixes everything, but it helps a bit. That’s what’ll be saying to C when I take the family on a holiday to “celebrate’ ( not sure that’s the right word) my sixtieth next month. I’ve rented a dog-friendly cottage by the beach for me, the dog, my stepdaughter, son in law and the grandkids. We’ll have C there in spirit.

Comment by Melissa yesterday

Hi riet,

I posted it here, but deleted it. It sounded too whiny.

My son is getting married on the 27th, and I just don't know how I'll get through the wedding without Gilbert.

Comment by riet yesterday

I got a message from Melissa in my  mail box, but it doesn't appear on this page if I click on the link.  What happened?

 

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