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Born in the 50s

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Members: 790
Latest Activity: 12 hours ago

Discussion Forum

How old was he?

Started by sadderbytheday. Last reply by DIVA70 12 hours ago. 6 Replies

Ugh...Christmas.

Started by Lark. Last reply by Maggiepie on Saturday. 14 Replies

Keeping a journal sometimes helps

Started by sadderbytheday. Last reply by sadderbytheday Dec 31. 9 Replies

Little Family?

Started by Hope. Last reply by Freebird Nov 29, 2019. 18 Replies

Anyone experiencing loneliness?

Started by bblue5. Last reply by Freebird Nov 27, 2019. 16 Replies

Comment Wall

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Comment by booktime (Susan) on November 2, 2019 at 11:28am

Hi Melissa,

I'm doing just about everything you listed! I go to two Meet up groups, I'm signing up for classes (origami, making jewelry), one book club, a couple of committees (local and church), my weaving guilds, and seeing friends in between. I feel busy. Plus my own weaving and spinning. I don't have many full days at home. Of course in the winter that can change.

It is hard to get out there on one's own. Many is the time I have almost talked myself out of going somewhere but went and generally have a good time. I'm slowly making new friends. I wouldn't say any are "besties" but I like the women I do see.

And yes we can do anything! Hugs.

Comment by Melissa on November 2, 2019 at 10:47am

Thank you, Lee.

On November 6, it will be two years for me. I am amazed at how far I've come in terms of getting through the day, but I know I need to make new friends and get out more. I've survived for two years. It's time to start living again.

I'm looking for classes to take, Meet Ups that look interesting, book clubs, that sort of thing. I've always had a bit of social anxiety, so it's difficult, but I just tell myself that if lived through my husband's death, I can do anything.

I wish us all friends and love and comfort.

Comment by Lee on November 2, 2019 at 9:21am

It’s been 14 mos. for me now without my soulmate and I too still cry everyday, just not for as long as I used to. I’m working hard to get used to the idea that he’s gone forever, my brain has trouble with that concept. I too dread the holidays. We did not have children, I have very little family, so holidays are spent with friends and my wonderful god family who comes to my house for Christmas each year. This year I’m spending Thanksgiving with a friend I met in recent years, and her brother. She just lost her husband this summer after caring for him for several years with Alzheimer’s. Mine passed away of pneumonia after 5 rollercoaster weeks in ICU. Not sure I’d trade with her.

I remind myself that I was lucky to have 36 good years with my husband, not so many can say that. I miss him terribly, but I know it is now up to me to make my “new life” so I have reached out to friends and we have become much closer and we see each other at least weekly, our own little support group I suppose (yes, most of my friends are now widows as well). If I depended on family, I’d be alone 99% of the time. So, I would encourage those that are lonely to reach out to friends (maybe make some new ones?), make it happen. We all need other people in our lives. Hugs to all at this especially emotional time of year.

Comment by chef (John) on November 1, 2019 at 3:44pm

Tekwriter,

It's good to know that my experience as a business librarian is finally useful to someone here. :-)

Comment by Tekwriter on October 31, 2019 at 4:21am

chef(John) Your input is greatly appreciated.

Comment by Mary on October 29, 2019 at 3:39pm

Diva,

I'm with you.  I can't even picture Thanksgiving or Christmas here now.  It is heartbreaking.

Comment by DIVA70 on October 28, 2019 at 7:39pm

Mary, you are so right. We had so many wonderful holidays together. It is so hard even thinking about the holidays now. It actually is heartbreaking. I think that's why I have to go away or do something different. 

Comment by Mary on October 28, 2019 at 3:22pm

Diva,

Love the picture!  That sounds like a wonderful, fun day with your family.  In some ways, probably makes things even harder now.  The cruise sounds like a great idea.  That's so nice that you will have your daughter with you.  I guess somehow we will all make it thru the holidays, but it's sure not anything I'm looking forward to.  The other day, I walked into a Hallmark store to pick up a card and when I saw all of the beautiful Christmas decorations, I just wanted to turn around and walk out.  My husband would have been looking for a new ornament or something for the tree or one of those animated stuffed animals for our granddaughter.  It's all so different now.

Comment by DIVA70 on October 28, 2019 at 1:22pm

Mary, I feel exactly the same.....I cant wait for Jan 2 to get here. The holidays always represented family for me and the best part of that was having our patriarch of the family with us. He too cared for the outside decorations and I took care of the inside. When we finished we would put logs on the fireplace and I would have hot cocoa while he had his favorite eggnog. The past ten years we have been empty nesters so a lot of our activities were centered around each other. The last Christmas of his life we celebrated at our youngest son and daughter-in-law's house. There was about 25 family and friends gathered together. Everyone wore "ugly" Christmas sweaters. We had a ball! Last year my daughter and I went on a cruise. This year I plan on doing the same. I just haven't been able to muster up the same joyous feelings as before. Its just not the same without him. Maybe that will change in the future. I wish us all the very best as we prepare for the next two months.IMG_3504.JPG

Comment by shelley on October 28, 2019 at 12:15pm

I'm so sorry, Tek.  Recently lost my Bailey, my husband's favorite.  I've been very fortunate over the years to have had the funds for very expensive vet bills.  Drove my husband crazy how much I would spend.  

Setting up a nonprofit is pretty easy.  A friend of mine did one herself.  I've done two- but hired attorneys for both because I didn't have the time.  Lots of info on line and there are also books- Nolo Press has a book with instructions/forms.  Good luck.  Good cause.   

 

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