Born in the 50s

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Comment by missinghugs (fran) on April 13, 2013 at 2:40pm

I had a terrible evening and today feel done in. Ive lost my best friend over an argument with her boyfriend who said some hurtful things to me. Told me that i am not the only person who lost someone important to them and i should just move on. He was going on and on...saying poor Fran. Guess what...there are others worse off than you, Fran. I never denied that. Losing your soulmate and spouse changes everything . What hurts the most is my friend let him go on and said there was some truth to what he was saying. I dont go around with widow written on my back and join friends when i am having an ok day...but there are times i find comfort at home away from other couples. Im 17 mos out and feel so alone.

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 13, 2013 at 11:56am

today is a strange day, one of those days that the record in my head keeps playing why , Lord why. He's be getting his boat ready to launch next month. An old girl like me but still ran like a top. It was our only sanctuary where we could get away from it all out on the big lake. why Lord why... now I am alone and lately always afraid.....  

Comment by lizbeth4 on April 13, 2013 at 10:12am

Thanks Gordy's widow!   I am hanging in there.  I have been reading "Widow to Widow", I don't know if you've read that book.  There are a lot of useful things in it.  I will get by till I get the life insurance and I think it will be this month.  His vacation time, even though it is upsetting as he earned it, I think some companies just take their sweet time paying out.  I am just tired of the sadness and lonliness, the pain.  I am taking baby steps everyday!

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 13, 2013 at 9:39am

dear lizbeth, it has been 15 mo and I still have problems with everything, I have read allot of books on grieving but no two journeys are alike, (hugs) know that you are not alone and I will meet you to chat any night we can't sleep,K? I  have to say that no one has really helped me,  they say they are supportive but it just seems empty maybe because I feel empty. but it does get better, baby steps, reread that post I put on here about the tines you want to stop I reread it everyday. even though i don't think any one would give a fig it I was gone too, you just don't know....... I have nieces and nephews that I love dearly and 3 fur children.  That is BS for the vacation  pay, I'd consult a lawyer, he earned it. Life ins I got  pretty quick, I had it buy the time I got his funeral bill. But a lawyer really helped me. most of the first 12 mo I was in a fog I know Ive said this before but it's worth having someone to look out for you. (hugs) hang in there babe remember fake it till you make it! 

Comment by Debbie0423 on April 12, 2013 at 11:27pm

Its been over 4 years for me, did not allow myself to grieve when I should have, those who "did not get it" would not allow me to.. thought I should get over it and move on. Well they are no longer a part of my life and I am moving  on finally. The not sleeping gets better at least it did for me. Finally downsizing my life, you do what you have to in order to survive.

Comment by Thewidahz on April 12, 2013 at 11:05pm

Lizbeth4, I am 18months out now, and I can tell you things do get better, but life is never the same. I also miss cooking for my meat and potatoes guy. The money thing is big and ugly too. I'm finding that so many of us are suffering in that way. Hang in there. I can finally sleep again, but it took a while. My doctor finally prescribed an anti anxiety medication that has really helped with sleep. So sorry for your loss.

Comment by lizbeth4 on April 12, 2013 at 10:50pm

The nights are the worse for me also.  Not sleeping well.  I am trying just to get through this nightmare (31 days since my Husband died).  Plus I'm playing the waiting game on his employer benefits.  It will take 12 weeks for his vacation pay, that he earned and didn't take, $3,000.  I want to scream.  I am barely surviving.  Waiting on life insurance and 401k money also.  I know I am being impatient.  It just seems like everything just stinks right now.  I am fixing a frozen meal for dinner, I don't have anyone to cook for anymore.  My Husband was a meat and potato man, and I loved making dinner for him.  What to do?  I just feel soo lost and lonely. I don't have many family members and a few friends.  I think everyone is getting tired of me.  Today, I cried part of the day and felt soo alone.  I want things to get better.  Will they ever???

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 12, 2013 at 10:34pm

oh the nights are worst aren't  they, can't sleep. no one to talk to, when the heart aches the most. will I ever feel normal or whole again?    

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 12, 2013 at 8:55am

it is sometHing I have read almost everyday. Gordy was my world, and now it is empty so I NEED TO READ THAT EVERY DAY! I found is some where on this beautiful village.......(hugs ) to all the rain doesn't make one feel too perky here in the east :(  COME ON SUN! 

Comment by Debbie0423 on April 11, 2013 at 7:11pm

Dear Gordy's Widow ~ Thank You for "For The Times That You Want To Stop ......"

Try and stay Warm ~ Spring is Coming!!!

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