Born in the 50s

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Comment by Drifting on April 1, 2013 at 10:35pm

Gordy's widow, that is very sad too - a hard road for all of us.  You have raised a valid topic and given good advice - it's sad that some will take advantage of the situation.

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 1, 2013 at 5:44pm

OH LUIzbeth, I am so sorry for your loss, my husband too passed from lung cancer but I had a little longer. Gordy lived a little over 3 mo. and his last trip to the hospital he had like a neumothorax, like his lung collapsed and made these funny squealing noises. The Dr said they would try chemo and maybe buy him a few months that was dec 1, he passed dec 7th 2011. I can relate to all you are feeling At first it seemed like the chemo was working it had shrunk all the secondary tumors, or they where gone, but alas not the primary one in his right lung., When he knew it was not good, and the tumors where closing off all the room and then had grown outside too, anyhow, He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "I don't  want to die" that will haunt me till the day I die, what do you say to a 53 year old man , that is the love of your life how do you make it ok? The one radiation treatment made things worse and he went into hospice care basically a morphine drip for a a night, a day and then he passes at 11:30 pm the next night.Then my dad passed the same day this past dec 12/7/12. Prayers are with you ((HUGS)). Don't be in a hurry to give stuff away. I let a "good" friend walk off with a couple hundred dollars worth of tools. because I was in a daze..... watch that stuff>   

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 1, 2013 at 5:32pm

hey wannabmartha would that be my idol the great MS? 

Comment by DrummerGroupie (Chris) on April 1, 2013 at 3:23pm

Oh Dear Lizbeth - Ready your words made me want to reach out to you and give you a hug.  I truly remember those first few weeks - the shock of everything - reliving every minute.  It was torture and I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.  I am glad that you have found the village because everyone here is on the same journey, just at different intervals.  We have experienced or are experiencing the same feelings, emotions, pain...and we truly 'get it'. 

It will be 3 years on May 4 since I lost my husband to a sudden cardiac arrest in his sleep.  He had just turned 52, 6 days before and I never imagined that I would be 'living' this life without him.  I miss him and love him more every day....that will never change but there are more smiles now than tears...and I can smile through tears at things that used to make me buckle at the knees.

Please be good to yourself - there is no right or wrong way to grieve - everyone is different and there is no timetable.  Take deep breaths and just take one babystep at a time.  Sleep when you can....eat when you can.....cry when you have to...drink lots of water to replace those tears and come here often.

We're here for you.  Big hugs,

Chris

Comment by Drifting on March 31, 2013 at 9:50pm

Hi Lizbeth, I too am so sorry, but welcome here.  I certainly feel your shock and pain reading your post, my heart goes out to you.  My husband also died at age 57, 2 1/2 years ago, we were together 31 years, and still, if i slow down to think about things, I can hardly believe he's gone.  I wish i had found this site way back then.  I hope you find some comfort and understanding here.

and Sue, those wheelchair memories sure are painful, but at least we still had our man.  My wheelchair memories are all from the two months in the cancer lodge, too sick and weak to walk for two months but they keep giving treatment, the days when we tried to keep strong and smiling, no matter what - just get thru treatment...

Comment by Old55 on March 31, 2013 at 7:46pm

Hi Lizbeth, I am so sorry for your loss, my husband too died at 57 following a short bout with lung cancer and associated trauma-:/ treatment - stick with this site - everyone genuinely understands and without fail there will be someone that resonates with how you feel at any given minute... My warmest thoughts and understanding are sent your way (((hugs)))

Comment by Trish on March 31, 2013 at 7:19pm

Hi Lizbeth:  I am so sorry for your loss & I remember all too well those days when you're numb & in shock & can't believe this is happening to you.  I kept thinking I was in a dream & I would wake up & my life would be back to normal again. What you're going through, unfortunately, is all too normal & for you it's all so fresh & new.  Allow yourself to cry & yell & grieve. It's OK & don't let anyone tell you when to stop grieving.  This is a good site to come to when you want to vent & talk to people who've been there.  HUGS to you & again I'm so sorry for your loss.

Comment by GG Rose on March 31, 2013 at 7:16pm

Karen,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I am 5+ years out and I can still feel your pain.  We all can becasue we've walked where you are walking. If you like to write than this is a good venue!  Reach out.  We will virtually walk with you.   I don't want to disappoint you, but you can't manage "these days".  It is the terror of grief.  At least that is what I called it.  I felt like I was being terrorized.  Somedays you get through it one breath at a time!  Don't expect more, acknowledge and know that tomorrow may be better.  Eventually, it does not hurt so much.  It seems like forever.  The tender scar of grief is being formed.  The pain for loving and caring.  Bless you and be gentle with yourself. 

Comment by lizbeth4 on March 31, 2013 at 7:09pm

Hi!  I lost my Husband 19days ago to lung cancer, he was 57 years old.  He was diagnoised in January of this year and made it 2 months before he passed. He tried chemo (2 rounds) to try to slow it down.  I still can't believe he is gone.  It happened soo fast. I can't seem to get the last hours of his life out of my head.  He collapsed on our patio and I called 911 and he was taken to the ER.  His blood pressure was 64/44 and his organs were shutting down.  The Doctor called hospice for me and I filled out the paperwork and he was transported to one of their facilties. When he was transferred from the ambulance gurney to the hospice bed he passed away.  When I walked into hospice they told me he had just passed, soo devastating.  The look in his eyes in the ER was like he was soo scared and frightened. He was trying to climb out of the hospital bed and all I could do was hold his hand and tell him that I loved him.  He never complained that he was in pain until the day he died.  He was give morphine. My Daughter and I sat with him at hospice for a long time. We were in shock, I didn't want to believe that he was gone already.  He looked soo old and sick, the cancer and chemo had kicked the crap out of him.  We were together for 29 years, I miss him everyday.  It seems like I am just trying to survive and trying to manuver over roadblocks all the time.  I just want some peace. 

Comment by Sherbear on March 31, 2013 at 4:49pm

Yep Su
I know what you mean. When the wheelchairs were picked up and the two portable ramps were sold it was the same feeling. A little more of him gone. I still have the permanent ramp. It's do solid font think it's going any where

(((Big Old Hugs)))

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