Born in the 50s

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Comment by lizbeth4 on April 9, 2013 at 6:13pm

It has been 28 days since I lost my Husband.  I was born in the late 50's and my Husband and I were married for 29 years.  I am finding my way and trying to focus on the positives of my life. Sometimes I have to force myself to get out of bed and do something.  My Husband wouldn't want me to be sad all the time.  I am thinking already what I want to do with my life now.  It isn't going to be the life that we had planned together (retireing and rving).  I need to find my own path without my Husband.  I need to find peace.

Comment by missincin (Dan) on April 9, 2013 at 3:02pm

Been out the siet for a couple month but not in your group. I like the rest of you was born in the great 50's lost my wife of 35 yrs almost 3 months ago and going through everything that goes with it. Your here, you know what I mean. Thank you for allowing me to jion your group I look forward to do some readind on this site.......

Comment by bogie77 (Donna) on April 9, 2013 at 2:47pm

I find peace in knowing that Andy wouldn't want me to be sad and crying the rest of my life.  Is it difficult?  Oh, yeah!  I'm at 2+ years.  I still have moments where I think, "how the heck did I get this life?"  But mostly, I have decided that Andy would want me to move forward and enjoy my life.  If things were reserved and I died first, I'd certainly want him to find some peace and happiness again.  I feel like I'm selling him short if I sit around and cry about the hand I've been dealt.  He would encourage me to figure out what I want to do now.  Kids and grandkids are certainly a blessing, but there are other things in life, too.  Volunteering is a great way to get out of your own life for a little while.  Even if you can't do physical stuff, maybe you can sort books at the library or read to kids at the local elementary school.  Organizations are always looking for volunteers.  I think we're great candidates!

Comment by Janice on April 9, 2013 at 11:54am

gordy's widow, bless you.  i am at 27 months (as of yesterday).  i can't say that i am happy, but i have moments of happiness and friendship and fun.  sometimes it takes looking back at someone else's journey for me to see this.  i struggle most with the house, with the fact that he died here, that he built this house as his special project and then died 7 months after we moved in.  i know i can't sell it without losing $$$$ so i try to make peace with the house.  maybe what you can do is volunteer for something.  (this is great advice coming from someone who when stressed still gets that diarrhea of the mouth i'm-a-widow thing.) 

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 9, 2013 at 11:40am

Joy, way off, contentment probably never. Mostly I feel nothing...... that is on the days I am not sad! I have nothing in m y life to bring me joy, now work, ( on ssd) no kids, grand kids, it is very hard to come back from this place literally alone! I will be joyful when I get my license to DRIVE that blur hog in the picture..... 

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 9, 2013 at 11:33am

Joy out of live again that is easier said than done ..... 

Comment by Janice on April 9, 2013 at 7:44am

my goal is that my life will not be defined by his death.  easier said than done:  sometimes it is one step forward, two steps back.  in griefshare they said that someday our joy would return.  i have had moments of real joy, but peace is still elusive.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on April 9, 2013 at 6:56am

Karla Dornacher wrote this - Even though I would never have chosen to be a widow, this will help me heal:

"Choose your own path in life and follow it freely, walking gently, lightly, and joyfully toward your goal."

My goal is to get some enjoyment out of life again...

Comment by shaderun on April 7, 2013 at 11:09pm

Good for you Karen!

I have silver streaks at both temples and I love the color. I'm keeping it and can't wait to see what the rest of my hair does.

Comment by Gordy's widow on April 7, 2013 at 3:01pm

NOPE not this girl NO GRAY EVER, I started going gray in my teens, I buy my loving care on sale for 5.99 a box. Gray is not how I see myself, and It's not that pretty brilliant white gray. Its wiry and coarse, and makes me look OLD! Bravo to you brave souls but not this gal. I have a cousin that did this and also stopped cutting her hair or wearing make up she looks like a witch from a scary movie....... no thanks   

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