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Born in the 50s

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Comment by Claire on Tuesday

For the Thanksgiving holiday I'm going to volunteer at a mission that provides dinner for homeless. Christmas, I'm not sure about that yet. 

Comment by booktime (Susan) on Tuesday

I know what I am doing for Thanksgiving - going to my sister's in Maine. I've done this since my mother died so it's the third time.

As to Christmas? i have no clue. I haven't been invited anywhere tho I know the same sister welcomes me - it's just a bit of a drive in winter.

I don't really want to do what I did last year. I felt really uncomfortable when my brother's ex showed up and showered her daughters and grandchild with gifts for hours. I didn't know she was coming. I remember going upstairs to my room for a bit of a cry.

So I am hoping for more joy this year.

Hugs to all!

Comment by DrummerGroupie (Christine) on Tuesday

Whew - the holidays!  I know that they are just around the corner, and as much as I enjoy the weather and the time off work - the holidays are still daunting.  My friends always include me - but I feel like I'm infringing on their family time.  My step kids are great - but they both are married and have their in-laws etc....

I decorate very sparsely at my house - cuz it's only me and my fur babies.  I haven't put up a tree in several years.  Somehow, we'll get through it all, once again. 


Comment by Tess on Tuesday

I hear you Jules and LP. I get along doing what is expected of me on holidays and special events, but it’s a facade. There really is no genuine joy involved. I love my daughter and grandson to the ends of the earth, but they are not a substitute for my lost love. 

I recently posted a picture of me with them at the beach. Of course we were all smiling. An acquaintance commented that I looked so happy. Of course I let that one go but I wanted so desperately to say looks deceive. 

Hang in there. 

Comment by Barzan on Tuesday

Oh the dreaded holidays!  While my husband was still alive, we hosted some Thanksgiving dinners but we didn't care if we had an invitation to other family member's houses because we were quite happy to just spend it by ourselves.  Now, it's sitting around wondering if I get an invite because it feels like I'm an afterthought.  If air travel wasn't so expensive during holidays, I'd fly somewhere I haven't been before and take in the sights.

I have good friends who would include me if the knew how I felt but I don't want to intrude on their celebrations with their families.  So like many here, I dread the holidays.  


Comment by LP on Tuesday

Yes, the season when we have to swat away the dreaded question “are you ready for the holidays?”   People don’t realise that losing a spouse is not like losing a parent. The latter is sad of course, but losing my husband was like having half of me torn  off. I haven’t felt like celebrating anything since he died. I nap a lot too, like many of you. It allows me a break from a world that doesn’t have Chris in it anymore. 

Comment by Jules on Tuesday

Tech writer: The holidays!! Yikes! Since my Mom passed away 2 1/2 years ago I’ve taken on the Christmas morning brunch. I’ve already let some family member know I’m not doing it this year. One response was, “oh, what are you doing instead? Are you going on a trip?” I was a little dumb founded at that response. My thought was, not sure I’m even getting out of bed.  The same person also suggested I “ fake being happy until I’m happy???!! I have to keep in mind she’s younger and has never gone through something like this. She thinks it should be like when my mom died. NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!

Comment by shelley on October 7, 2019 at 10:55am

Wish I had some advice about biting.  My Bailey became aggressive with other dogs as she aged and felt insecure.  But I've never had a dog aggressive toward humans.   I've seen food/treat-related aggression in friends' dogs.  How does he do at feeding time?  Does he eat with the other dogs?  Hopefully your other dogs will help you with your efforts.  

Comment by Claire on October 7, 2019 at 10:28am

Playing and romping are great for puppies.  But a structured walk also teaches them how to behave in a human led activity.  I fully expect dogs to interact differently with other dogs in comparison to how they interact with their humans.  

Comment by Tekwriter on October 7, 2019 at 10:20am

We live on 2 acres and he has 4 older dogs to romp with. I will talk to my son about the walk you suggest. He plays hard from the time he gets up till he goes to bed. I will be following up on the other suggestions also.


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