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Born in the 50s

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Latest Activity: Oct 15

Discussion Forum


Started by Dianne in Nevada. Last reply by Roxi Sep 13. 112 Replies

2 years today

Started by jlsrdh. Last reply by Estragon Sep 9. 7 Replies


Started by Mike. Last reply by Ultra2015 Aug 22. 35 Replies

Misery loves company

Started by Tess. Last reply by Roxi Aug 21. 31 Replies

having a hard time

Started by drgayle. Last reply by Angie Aug 18. 6 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by riet on March 31, 2020 at 11:30pm

Dear Ultra and friends,
April has  become a sad month for me. On April 20 it is 2 years ago that my love had to die. I seem to remember every day of the month in 2018. Even if I don't want to. I want to remember beautiful days and not this terrible collapse and suffering. We always looked forward to the month of April. Everything started all over again. Often we just left on a short camping holiday because the sun was shining so beautifully. It was always a happy month. And always: we together. Now ... the other way around. This lockdown does not help. I see him wherever I go.  I want him to complete me. But he is not there anymore.
It's so hard he had to die when spring really started. Now there is a hard band around my heart that almost suffocates me sometimes.
In the last few months I had finally regained a little energy. This is now completely gone.
I miss him so much.

Comment by Ultra2015 on March 31, 2020 at 12:21pm

Tomorrow starts Sandi's birthday month.  Her actual birthday is April 28 but she celebrated all month, and it happens that this is the 28th month since I lost her.  She just loved feeling that April was her month and a perfect day on the 28th. 

The past couple of weeks I have been having very intense, intimate dreams about/with Sandi.  Not sexual.  I don't know how to explain it and I can't get it off my mind.  It just feels like she is melting into me and I often wake with a start.  I don't feel upset or more emotional, but, idk, bewildered. I think of her everyday, miss her everyday and this continual segregation is not helping.  I can't even keep up the routine I had worked myself into after months of nothing.  The homeless program where I spend 3-4 days a week is closed and I wonder how the group we serve will get through. 

Random thoughts.  

Thanks for listening. 


Comment by Sander on March 29, 2020 at 7:25pm

Thx KJPE....sometimes I feel like  I can't do this, but then I think about my wonderful daughter and my precious I also have the Widowed Village which is very comforting...Thx to all of you and sending virtual hugs!

Comment by KJPE on March 29, 2020 at 6:50pm

Sander9 and Book Girl - my heart goes out to you.  It is hard enough to be just a few months beyond the loss of one's beloved spouse, but having this crazy pandemic & being shut in surely intensifies it all.  Please do visit us here often, we have all been through it & know just how intense it is.  xxxooooSending hugs & good wishes to you, stay healthy.

Comment by chef (John) on March 29, 2020 at 2:54pm

book girl,

Sorry you're here, but glad you found us. As others have said, please read and post.

We get it.

Comment by Melissa on March 29, 2020 at 10:32am

Book Girl, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

You have come to the right place. We are all walking the same road you find yourself on, and there is nothing you can say here that we won't understand.

My heart is with you.

Comment by sadderbytheday on March 29, 2020 at 9:51am

Hi Book Girl.  It helps to read other posts I think.  I don't have any advice as my best friend's husband could tell you.  He called me about a week after she died,crying his heart out, asking me if it got any better? I started crying and told him I was sooo sorry,but, he called the wrong person.  I said that Jim had been gone for three years and I am still having a really hard time.  We talked for a few minutes, shared some stories from our school days   I did tell him that ,maybe, it would be different for him (doubt it) They were married for 60 years.

On the three year date, which was this month, I planted a Gardenia plant for my husband.  It was his favorite.

Comment by Sander on March 29, 2020 at 9:15am

Book Girl...sorry for your loss...this is a great site for sharing your feelings...we do know your pain....this isolation is so much harder when your already alone because of the loss of your Wisconsin were suppose to stay home till April I too will be alone for my birthday....sure would be helpful to see family and friends...the last 4 months since my husband passed have been hard on helped to see friends or visit my chats are helpful but just want to hug them....missing so much as the are only 3 yrs and 1yr old....they don't understand why Grandma can't come and just really sucks....

Comment by Tess on March 29, 2020 at 7:18am

book girl, I am so very sorry for your loss. You two had a long, rich lifetime together. That is a treasure but creates such a lonely void, especially at this time of quarantine. Maybe write a heartfelt message to him for his birthday. 
My husband’s birthday was this past Wednesday. I just wished him a happy birthday. I have a picture of us on my nightstand so I say goodnight to him nightly. 
Please post often as these times are isolating us even more than we have been. 
Sending you lots of virtual hugs. 

Comment by Barzan on March 29, 2020 at 6:49am

Book Girl, 

You will kinship and kindness at this site.  My birthday is on Easter and will also spend it alone.  I hope you get to celebrate yours once this virus has settled down.  

Peace and hugs to you,



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