A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
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Welcome to this group's coordinator, Wannabmartha!
Latest Activity: 10 hours ago
Thanks for the replies. I am waiting for at least 9 months before I make a decision. I haven't given away anything of his besides his truck which I had to sell because I needed the money. That was heartbreaking!!! I haven't even gone through his personal things yet. Every time I open one of his drawers, I just look and touch the items and then close the drawer. I am not ready yet. I have the watch he was wearing when he died, and I would never give it away. This is really hard!!!
Liz conventional wisdom on this front says NOT to do anything like this until after the first year......actually no major decisions for the first year...... I had always heard that now I know why..... brain fog...... move slowly so you don't make mistakes. I gave away some valuable tolls and rolling tool box to Gordy's "best friend" who promised to detail my car in return I go nothing.... think twice and move slowly
It has been 69 days since my Husband's death. I haven't decided whether I will stay in the condo we lived in for 20 years or sell it and buy another one. There are a lot of good memories here and a lot a bad memories, his pain and death. I kind of feel like I can't move on living in this condo. I am not going to make a decision until the end of the year. I can't face it right now!
Dear Puddy, I feel you , I am in my dream house and it is killing to do stuff I never did before..... but as long as my sainted MIL is living I will not move from here, it took till I was 51 to get here and it is wonderful and torture at the same time.....blessings in your move.... chin up girl
Pray you find your peace and joy again. It is so hard. I too left the home I had with my husband, (36 years there) and felt exactly what you are feeling now....wanting to stay yet wanting to run. I moved also into a maintenance free place as I just could not keep up the house, money wise, maintenance wise and most of all emotions....he was the presence that made it a home. Even though I have moved Chuck is with me always as I carry him in my heart. This September will be three years he has been gone.
The ache is still with me but I am able to get through the days without totally losing it. As you know, some days are better than others. Everyone must do what they feel is best.
@ Gordy's widow...this second year was the pits! I will start into my 3rd year on the 21st of May...it has got to get easier...
@Juls...the house is up for sale and I feel your pain. I want to stay and want to leave at the same time. I know moving is moving my life forward but I hope I am moving to the right area. I did a maintenance free...one level villa. I will miss our beautiful home...this was Ron's dream house. But it just hurts being here and will hurt leaving. I sit and cry on the front porch when people come to see the house. I am hoping this last move with finally bring some peace and serentity to my life. These last two years have been like living in hell!
Gordy's Widow: I did the same. I did it many more times. Then one day, I was home alone ... and I yelled at his picture and cried really hard; why are you never coming back!; YOU ARE never coming back; YOU ARE NEVER EVER COMING BACK, kind of over and over. I was really sad and angry at the same time. It really really (REALLY) hurt. You all know that deep down heart stopping wrenching feeling. But I think it did help over time. Now I can calmly say to his picture or in my heart I know you can't come back, and you are NOT supposed to. But, I want to be with you; when my time comes. I will be with you when the time is right. I miss you and I always will." I am trying to use that montra to keep me going. It's just one one more thing we have to do to keep going forward.
I hear you.. my dream was for us to go together so neither one of us had to live without the other.of course that did not happen... I am misserable..
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