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Born in the 60s

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Members: 699
Latest Activity: on Tuesday

Discussion Forum

Dating Again for those Born in the 60s

Started by Mary H. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 on Tuesday. 152 Replies

We can all understand the heartbreak others feel on losing their spouse, regardless of their age.  We know that the youngest, still overcome by the overwhelming rush of new love, feel keenly cheated…Continue

Learning to do the things that my Husband always took care of

Started by HillbillyWitchDr. Last reply by Rkay Mar 18. 12 Replies

It has been nearly two years since my Husband died suddenly, and I find myself putting off doing simple things that I need to take care of. There are so many things, like going through his model…Continue

Brain fog?

Started by Liss. Last reply by Nance63 Mar 18, 2017. 11 Replies

At 56, my brain has enough mileage to wear off some of the tread, even before the loss of my husband this August. After his death, though, I find it so much harder to remember details, make decisions…Continue

MOVIE WEEKEND ON THE COUCH

Started by bobmac. Last reply by Pelican Aug 30, 2016. 76 Replies

ok,  nothing ventured,  nothing gained.    if you're interested in getting together for a weekend of 'movies on the couch',  add your forum name, your location, your ability/desire to travel…Continue

Tags: couch, the, on, weekend, movie

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Comment by designguy on February 6, 2018 at 10:30am

God has a plan and a purpose and we are just minute parts of it. We are still left here for a purpose, let's make it happen.


VOLUNTEER
Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:22am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

http://widowedvillage.org/chat

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on December 11, 2017 at 10:05am

Today 1 year ago we had a big BBQ for my husband.  I am so glad we did; it was kind of like a early birthday party; his birthday was 12/29. He was diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney cancer and didn't make it 5 months.  The holidays were his favorite time of year.  I miss him so much.  It really sucks having to go through this one with the kids and g-kids alone.  He loved watching them open gifts and the lights.  I want to crawl into a hole and not come out until this is over.  Each day brings more anxiety.

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on December 11, 2017 at 6:18am

H2017 and Terry, I can surely relate to all of these feelings that I have been desperately trying to bury somewhere.  Like you H2017 my husband symptoms were showing around Halloween of last year, after many visits to the hospital for tests, upon test they finally found cancer on 12/15/16.  Christmas last year was so hard I could barely stand the thought of Christmas music, wrapping presents, shopping, baking etc.  I was so focused with some hope and still knowing in the back of my mind it was really bad.  They wanted to take his right kidney, piece of his bladder on the 24th of December; he said no.  Last year was his last Christmas with us.  He had the surgery on December 28th the day before his 61st birthday, stayed in the hospital until New Years Day.  On January 23rd we given the final diagnosis Stage IV Kidney cancer with 3-6 months to live with chemo and if we were lucky he would make it through October.  I won't go into all the details of the struggle and pain with the Pallative care which I have decided is just hospice in a nice way.  He passed away May 2, 2017 at home.  I miss him so much.  Like you I think back to all the things we were doing this time last year.  Christmas was his favorite time of year.  To complicate things for me it's a blessing and a challenge I have 4 grandkids, 3 live with me;  their mother as well in the process of a divorce, they are 8, 14, 15 and the other grandchild is 6 (my son's daughter) nope can't skip Christmas.  I wasn't going to put up a tree as it wasn't until last week did the kids come back to live with me. In addition to my 4 grandkids my son's girlfriend has 3 kids, 8, 10, 12.  We are celebrating with all the kids at my son's house on the 24th. This is so painful to write, didn't realize how hard it was going to be.  On December 29th would have been my husbands 62d birthday.  In summary I can totally relate to both of you about the holidays.

Comment by Terry on December 10, 2017 at 2:31pm

H2017...this is definitely a difficult time of year and it does not seem to matter if one has had the benefit of a few Christmases since the loss.  Like you, this time of year has the added stress for me of reliving the whole process that began the final decline.  My wife was admitted to the hospital on December 19, 2014.  I bothered the nurses and doctors daily to see if she was going to be released in time for Christmas.  She was eventually discharged on January 2, 2015 and then readmitted to intensive care on the 6th with heart failure.  Released again on the 21st she managed to get 5 weeks at home before going back in near the end of February, to be released and readmitted all in the same day on March 3 and passed away in ICU the morning of the 6th.  This is such a hard time of year thinking about everything that she went through to try and get her health back.  In our house, I was always the Christmas nut and to some extent continue to be so.  She was like a kid at Christmas and could not take the idea of wrapped gifts under the tree without begging to be allowed to unwrap them early.  I guess this came from the fact that during her entire first marriage, her husband never bought her one gift so I guess I can say that I really had the pleasure of making Christmas magical for her.  Her grown children from her previous marriage will spend the holiday with me as they don't really have any contact with their birth father.  In some ways it is nice having them around and in others it serves as a reminder that we are desperately missing someone.  This is still very new for you and I am truly sorry that you are experiencing your first Christmas without your wife.  You have found a great support group here.  Many come and go over time as the need arises but trust that whenever you need someone to be there for you, we are only a few keystrokes away.  Take care.

Comment by Nieta on October 27, 2017 at 4:40pm
What a beautiful experience Cindy! And, yes, I believe.
Comment by IBelieveInYou on October 26, 2017 at 5:48pm

KMA  (CIndy) - THanks for sharing this. Regardless of what each of us believes, we've all been thru a terrible experience and so we respect one another on that level. I've had several experiences that have been meaningful. I'm glad that you have also had one. 

Comment by KMA2106 on October 26, 2017 at 5:31pm
I’m unsure who believes but I definitely believe in God/Heaven/Angels among us/ that some are able to communicate with those that have past. with that being said, I’m happy to say I had a visit a few nights ago while I was sleeping. It was a beautiful white, it took my breath away how peaceful and mesmerizing it was.I am unable to describe what it was, I saw no one there but I know it was my husband telling me it was ok, he is proud of how myself and my daughters are doing. Knowing I’m constantly questioning if he is proud of me? Am I doing anything to dishonorable him? This was such a unbelievable experience that I wanted to share. I hope everyone gets a chance to experience this....Cindy
Comment by Tracy on October 26, 2017 at 7:44am

Thank you Believe, I am having a not too bad of a day. I think I will leave the cell message as is. 

Comment by IBelieveInYou on October 26, 2017 at 7:37am

Tracy isn't it odd what people say. Interestingly my son took it as his responsibility to change our outgoing greeting on the home phone the day his mom, my wife passed. It seemed like the right thing to do. Shortly thereafter, we recorded her outgoing message from her cell phone when we deactivated it. Those little details of life can bring up terrible waves of grief. I hope that you have a good day.

 

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