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Yesterday was my birthday. I am 2 1/2 years out and these dates still sting. The last 4 months I have noticed a shift in my grief. I have moved from a space of feeling stuck and hopeless into a space of possibility. I am beginning to see the possibilities in my life. I am beginning to want what is possible and am feeling more ready to begin to build what is possible. I started my podcast on grief (Tendrils of Grief) to honor my husband and channel my grief in a more positive way and that seemed to be the first shift that occurred for me. I know I am not over grief and understand it will always be a part of my life but this shift has brought me back to life and for the first time since my husband was diagnosed nearly 4 years ago, I feel hope for what my life could be. I finally feel ready to move forward and discover what is in store for this new version of me.
Everyone goes through this process on their own timeline but I just wanted to let everyone know that at some point the heaviness of grief does let up a bit. I will miss my sweet Paul every day for the rest of my life but I am finally choosing to live a meaningful life.

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Replies to This Discussion

Glad to see there will be a turning point. Happy to know you got there.

Glad to hear. Keep looking forward. How wonderful to find a place of peace. My Dan passed away June of 2018 and I try to be the way I know he would want me to be. I am still trying to put him first, but some days it is still difficult to keep positive. Most days are pretty good now.


1st, Happy Birthday I pray it was a good one. I'm so encouraged by you moving forward in your life. It's been 6 months since Harry transition and I have good and bad days.  I will definitely check out your podcast since it's always good to listen to someone who knows how I feel. 

God Bless you Good luck with your new venture 

Dear Finding Hope:

I am only 8 weeks into this and my birthday is in 2 weeks, his will be in 6 weeks.  I feel like I just go through the motions everyday and I am very sad.  I am not looking forward to my birthday. We usually go away for 5 days.  I cancelled it because I did not want to go and it will be the 1st week they are open with limitations.Thank you for posting that there is hope.  Happy Belated Birthday

Weemunk, Thanks so much for your post. It is so nice to hear when grief starts to transform for those of us dealing with our losses. Wishing you all the best as you create your New Life. Here's a quote that has helped me quite a bit "No one can go back and start a New Beginning, but anyone can start today and make a New Ending" Happy Belated Birthday and sending good thoughts as you move forward

The  most  important part  of grieving  is yielding  to  what  your  heart  feels  combined  with  what  you  know is  your  truth.  Every  person is different  and  it must  be understood  that  grief  at  losing  a  marital spouse  does  not  ever  follow  a set  time table!  You  are  not  "better"  or  "braver",  "smarter"  "  more in  touch with  reality",  "more aware  or " more religious"  etc.  if  you  grieve a short  time  nor  are  you  in  any  way any of those  things if  your  grief  takes  a  long  time.  All  of  us  are  uniquely  different!  Never  compare  yourself  and think  you  are  right  or wrong in  your  grief  journey  because  if  it  is  right  for  you than it is  right.  No one  can  ever  answer  for  another  how  long  grief  at  losing  your  marriage  partner  takes  because  they  do  not   and  can not know!

Reading your comment gives me hope.  Today is a good day, I am sad...yes, but I can manage and be more productive than just sitting around crying, feeling the world will swallow me.  This is something to look forward too.  I will always miss my honey bear.  He was the kindest man I’ve had ever known.  I owe him to keep on living, I promised him that much. For now, the grief is too fresh, but I have hope now.


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