Born in the 60s

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Comment by Sandy Webb on May 1, 2011 at 11:22am

I guess we are all in our 40's here and as if it isn't bad enough being a widow/er I think we are at an awkward age as far as dating/finding a new love goes.  I am 45 years old and pretty much set in my ways.  I also feel that I am a little too old to change.  But, on the other hand, I still feel young enough to want to find someone else to spend the rest of my life with.  I am hoping to have many years left (we never know for sure as we all know too well) and would like to share those years with someone.  I just keep thinking that if I was younger I would be more open to change and if I was older then maybe I wouldn't care so much about wanting to start a new life with someone.  My other issue is I don't have children and many men my age have fairly young children.  I don't want to be a step mom at this age either. Widowed in my 40's is not how I thought my life would be at all and yes, it pretty much sucks!

VOLUNTEER Comment by Supa Dupa Fresh on April 27, 2011 at 9:38pm

Bettboop, I think your feelings are TOTALLY normal and most of us HATE being nudged to date. The only time I personally liked it...was when the daycare provider offered to do free babysitting whenever I had a date. THAT practical assistance actually made me get out there a tiny bit earlier than I would have!

When my hubby was diagnosed (2 yrs before he died) I told him I'd remarry, and after he died I somehow had this confidence that I would, but I had no idea in hell how I would get from A to B.

If you're anything like me, you'll be darn good and ready when you are, and tough doody for anyone who wants to see it happen sooner.

 

Comment by mrossman on April 27, 2011 at 8:13am

I am sorry for your loss and pain.  I too am a nurse and have a lot of anger and frustration about my husband's care.  I must work so I went back to labor and delivery where most things are not related. It is the only way I can support my family.  Just wanted to share I sympathize with your anger at the profession and wish you the best.

Comment by faymeister on April 27, 2011 at 7:39am

My husband passed in October last year and it seams unreal.We where married for 22 years and this was suspose to be forever.Now I found out there is not such thing.I have grown a lot true all this and it has chainged my life for ever.

Once I was a nurse loving my Job more then you can imagine and after seeing what he went true and all the mistakes that was done ,I could not return to that at all.I don not even know if I ever will.My Girlffriend lost her husband 2 years ago and is not yet ready to get into a relationship .She was married for 18 years.I think it depends on you and the relationship you had with you husband.I do not think there is a timeframe on when to go back to life everyone is diffrent and deals with this diffrent.You are not wrong because you do what you feel is right.For me it will take a long time because when you had the greates you can never go back to soso.I may never be ready but I trust what ever it is God will lead me there.

Comment by bettboop on April 26, 2011 at 8:43pm

Yep I'm 42 and a widow, also. It will be a year on July 31 and I am dreading the day. Tired of ppl telling me I'm so young and pretty, I can find someone else. I don't WANT to find anyone else! Is anyone else here dealing with this? I mean, it hasn't even been a year yet!

Comment by MsKris12 on April 25, 2011 at 3:52pm

Had lunch with another widow today.  She is 5 years out.  I am 3 mos out and between the tears, the only feeling I could convey is this just sucks.  No other word for it.  Seems to be the general feeling here to.  Yep, sucks to be 42 and a widow. 

Comment by faymeister on April 25, 2011 at 3:22pm

Yep it sucks big big time was 45 when widowed now 46 and missing my best Friend every single day.This was suspose to be forever but he had to go.Where do I go now?

 

Comment by Boo on April 23, 2011 at 7:11pm

yep I was 44 when widowed, and am 46 in a couple of weeks ... this sucks big time.

Comment by bettboop on April 15, 2011 at 8:39pm

Me too Missy, on July 31 of 2010. Do you realize we make up only 1.4% of the adult population? It sux so bad:
(

Comment by Missystitch on April 8, 2011 at 3:26pm

I became a widow Aug 2010, at the age of 42. It sucks out loud. I feel like a foreigner everywhere I go.

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