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Born in the 60s

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Members: 649
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

Learning to do the things that my Husband always took care of

Started by HillbillyWitchDr. Last reply by happylilycat on Wednesday. 9 Replies

It has been nearly two years since my Husband died suddenly, and I find myself putting off doing simple things that I need to take care of. There are so many things, like going through his model…Continue

Dating Again for those Born in the 60s

Started by Mary H. Last reply by Leslie Dianne Apr 6. 82 Replies

We can all understand the heartbreak others feel on losing their spouse, regardless of their age.  We know that the youngest, still overcome by the overwhelming rush of new love, feel keenly cheated…Continue

Moved this weekend

Started by Therese. Last reply by sus Mar 20. 12 Replies

Moved into a 420 foot apartment this weekend. I have mixed emotions on this to say the least. If anyone were to congratulate me or even try to console me I think I might bite their head off. I never…Continue

Brain fog?

Started by Liss. Last reply by Nance63 Mar 18. 11 Replies

At 56, my brain has enough mileage to wear off some of the tread, even before the loss of my husband this August. After his death, though, I find it so much harder to remember details, make decisions…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by idaho on October 8, 2016 at 10:27am

Mary...I totally get it. my daughter and I too are in a huge house! however, we are moving this week to a 650 sq foot home. Its still in our town so I figured it was a good baby step to ..well...we are also looking to Oregon. (we are in Idaho). We were excited..all new stuff...new beginning. However, now that the move is upon us, I am overwhelmed and scared and thinking I am crazy!!! Im crying when I should be packing! - but not in front of her. I dont know..once we are there and settled I guess itll be a good start to "a new life"

Comment by IBelieveInYou on October 7, 2016 at 6:51am

Hi mary h - I hope you were able to zone out last night. It's a tough place to be - wanting to start anew yet wanting to honor the past and your own kids. There are times I want to leave my little city where Tam grew up and where, a year ago I was running for city council. Now - I go to council meetings and I think, "I'd rather be in the mountains." But then I go home and my kids are happy and would feel awful about leaving the only home they have ever known. You are not alone. Hang in there. 

Comment by Mary H on October 6, 2016 at 7:39pm

I found this great house on the Oregon coast, and I went up there with my 12 year old daughter to see if she was up for a big change, and she seemed completely on board.  We were driving around marveling at how beautiful it was, and imaging ourselves there.  I have this big 5 bedroom house, and its emptying.  There used to be 6 of us in it.  First my stepson left, which was normal and fine, but then I lost my husband, and now my oldest daughter has gone off to college, and my 16 year old son, he'll be following out soon enough, and I just feel like a leftover here.  I thought, I'll buy this perfect smaller house in Oregon and rent it out until my son leaves for college, and then I'll move up there with my daughter who would just be starting high school then.  I wanted this new life, but just as I was figuring out how to qualify for a mortgage on my own (not easy when the mortgage for this house is still in my husband's name), my daughter decided she really didn't want to leave.  I was so happy all week, so excited, and now I am tired and restless and vaguely wondering if it might not be a good idea to tune out for the evening with some kind of mood aid.  Back to no answers and no fun.  And I was so close, I almost made it into a new life.  And I know I could force her, but I just can't.  She's been through a lot too.

Comment by Patience (Diane) on July 28, 2016 at 11:41am
Nieta, the cherub statue is beautiful! I love that this is a special project for you!
Comment by Nieta on June 27, 2016 at 3:03am

I thought about putting it on our terrace/balcony but I've recently moved everything out of there due to pigeons making a home for themselves.  The cherubs now reside in front of a small seasonal cabin across from two Adirondack chairs.  I'm trying to find some shady plants that will properly frame it.  I've got a few projects to keep me busy but that is one of my favorite ones.

Comment by Flower on June 26, 2016 at 6:16pm
I love it when you hear something they said and it can still make you smile or even laugh out loud.
Where have you put your cherubs Nieta? I am in the process of making a small memory garden for my husband on the balcony of the apartment I have recently moved in to.
We always enjoyed our big yard together and spent many happy hours out there working but the house was just too big and the yard too once I was on my own! We had talked about downsizing in the spring so I decided to go ahead with the plan. For now I am renting as I have no idea where I want to end up and making a mistake is costly when buying.
Comment by Nieta on June 26, 2016 at 5:08pm

Hi jldogmother,

My husband didn't like it when I let my hair go too long between colorings and it gives me a chuckle now because he'd refer to my white streak as "Pepe Le Pew."  I now call that prominent streak Patrick.  Through the years he'd seen me with several hair colors and cuts and I suspect he liked some better than others.

I remember coming out of the bathroom once with a shade that was a little too dark for my taste and he commented that I matched the furniture.  He's not even physically at my side any longer and he still makes me laugh.

I can certainly relate to simplifying things in your life where you can.  We have to do what's best for us now.  When I was first growing my hair out, a friend asked me when I was going to color the white streak out of my hair because she knew that my husband didn't care for it.  I replied that if he had that much of a problem with it now, he could come and get me.  She never asked me again.

Comment by Nieta on June 26, 2016 at 4:53pm

Thank you Flower,

The beauty you possess within shines through in your writing. 

My husband's hair was very curly and he had a cherubic face, which I've always loved. 

I bought this little statue, which struck me as a cherubic version of my husband and I.  It makes me smile and I take my smiles where I can get them.

Comment by pvtess on June 26, 2016 at 4:01pm

Maria (Nieta) and Flower, I stopped bottle coloring my hair at the end of 2012 just before my husband's diagnosis. I had been trying to grow my hair out to figure out my natural hair color. My gray was sort of blondish and sort of looked like highlights with my light brown hair. At the beginning of June I decided to get my hair professionally colored and cut right before my most recent birthday. My husband strongly disliked me with short hair, so I doubt he would have liked it. But I need something simple for me.

Comment by Flower on June 26, 2016 at 3:15pm
Nieta
I love your comment about being grateful - it is so true for me too but I could never have said it so beautifully.
I went grey very young (and gave in gracefully at about 44), my husband had just started getting a little bit of silver in his hair in the last two years. It made him look even more handsome I think and yet no older (I am not sure the same can be said of mine). We were only three months apart in age and it was a source of amusement to my son that his Dad at 47 found his first grey hair while his Mum had too many to count by then!
 

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