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Born in the 60s

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Members: 816
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Discussion Forum

Finding Hope

Started by Weemunk. Last reply by laurajay on Saturday. 6 Replies

Yesterday was my birthday. I am 2 1/2 years out and these dates still sting. The last 4 months I have noticed a shift in my grief. I have moved from a space of feeling stuck and hopeless into a space…Continue

This hurts so bad

Started by CatCo. Last reply by SewCraftiMT May 20. 9 Replies

Just lost my husband 2 days ago. May 16, 2020. It happened so fast. Diagnosed with a brain tumor in April. Gone a month later. The pain, brain fog, confusion...it is all so overwhelming. I want to go…Continue

No one I know is a widow

Started by Anne. Last reply by CatCo May 19. 32 Replies

I lost my husband Dan on April 1st to aggressive metastatic cancer. No one in my age group (in my late 50’s) is a widow/widower. No one comprehends my new world. My needs are different than being…Continue

Dating Again for those Born in the 60s

Started by Mary H. Last reply by CatCo May 19. 282 Replies

We can all understand the heartbreak others feel on losing their spouse, regardless of their age.  We know that the youngest, still overcome by the overwhelming rush of new love, feel keenly cheated…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Nance63 on September 11, 2019 at 5:29pm

pvtess….  Ugh I'm sorry to hear you're sort of lost, lonely and shell shocked.  We make plans and moves thinking the next day will be the same as today, and life throws us a wicked curve...  I can't imagine how it must be to have left your comfort zone WITH your husband, expectations being normal.... and now you are stuck in a life that was not at all what you envisioned if you even took time to envision it at all. We don't... we just live... and then find ourselves shaken and poured out. 

Have you ever taken a look at Meetup.com to see if there might be some groups meeting nearby that would interest you and get you out there, doing things, meeting people, maybe making another bestie? 

for me, my life didn't change a WHOLE lot.... there were many practical things I relied upon my husband to just do and it's hard to be going it alone.... 3 years for me and I"m 56.  I have five kids, seven grands.My youngest child is special needs and so a lot of my time and energy is spent making HER life fulfilling.... sometimes I really wish I could 'vent' or discuss or bounce ideas off of someone other than my (willing) kids...it's lonely.  I feel for you. 

Comment by pvtess on September 11, 2019 at 12:48pm

I'm almost at the 5 year mark and turned 50 earlier this year. I look at myself and where I am at in my life now. I don't recognize any of it. Moved away in the year before my husband passed - so no family or friends nearby. I'm slowly trying to rebuild my life and my career but it's so difficult. Got a dog to help me meet other dog people through dog training classes. That's helped some. But there are days where I wish I could meet my bestie for lunch, see a movie, etc. Long distance phone calls help, but it's not the same as having them here. 

Comment by Thankfulheart on August 23, 2019 at 8:47pm

I’m sorry for your loss . Hi I’m new to this group . My husband Rafael passed away 9 years ago . It gets easier but he’s never forgotten. 

Comment by Sad One on September 1, 2018 at 5:18pm

Hi Idaho,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this with the move. I am in California, and am at 7 years out, and still living in same house i shared with my passed away Hubby. I wish I had your courage to make such a move. I've often wondered what it would be like if I moved East or North of here. As "here"  has become so expensive to continue. But somehow manage to get by, just barely. As for other widows in the area, surely there is a group nearby. Have you tried reaching out through live message forum here? Maybe they can connect you with others nearby. Again, you are very courageous! Hugs your way*****

Liz

Comment by idaho on August 31, 2018 at 8:07pm

So I have made a huge mistake. I was excited to move..after 20 years..to a new place so my daughter could try a new school. So withy thinking it through..I quit my good job, left my comfort zone, friends etc and moved 6 hours away to a different state! Well...it's not at all like I fantasized in my head. I can't seem to find a job and might run out of money soon. People here are not as friedly as where I came from. We went from 3 bdrm house to tiney and more expensive apartment. Dogs are ok but cats are miserable. I wish my husband was here..then I never wouldvwo done something sooo dumb. Anyone out there..near bend oregon? That's where I am right now and I sure could use a friend. My husband has been gone four years but it feels like yesterday.

Comment by designguy on February 6, 2018 at 10:30am

God has a plan and a purpose and we are just minute parts of it. We are still left here for a purpose, let's make it happen.


VOLUNTEER
Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:22am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

http://widowedvillage.org/chat

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on December 11, 2017 at 10:05am

Today 1 year ago we had a big BBQ for my husband.  I am so glad we did; it was kind of like a early birthday party; his birthday was 12/29. He was diagnosed with Stage IV Kidney cancer and didn't make it 5 months.  The holidays were his favorite time of year.  I miss him so much.  It really sucks having to go through this one with the kids and g-kids alone.  He loved watching them open gifts and the lights.  I want to crawl into a hole and not come out until this is over.  Each day brings more anxiety.

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on December 11, 2017 at 6:18am

H2017 and Terry, I can surely relate to all of these feelings that I have been desperately trying to bury somewhere.  Like you H2017 my husband symptoms were showing around Halloween of last year, after many visits to the hospital for tests, upon test they finally found cancer on 12/15/16.  Christmas last year was so hard I could barely stand the thought of Christmas music, wrapping presents, shopping, baking etc.  I was so focused with some hope and still knowing in the back of my mind it was really bad.  They wanted to take his right kidney, piece of his bladder on the 24th of December; he said no.  Last year was his last Christmas with us.  He had the surgery on December 28th the day before his 61st birthday, stayed in the hospital until New Years Day.  On January 23rd we given the final diagnosis Stage IV Kidney cancer with 3-6 months to live with chemo and if we were lucky he would make it through October.  I won't go into all the details of the struggle and pain with the Pallative care which I have decided is just hospice in a nice way.  He passed away May 2, 2017 at home.  I miss him so much.  Like you I think back to all the things we were doing this time last year.  Christmas was his favorite time of year.  To complicate things for me it's a blessing and a challenge I have 4 grandkids, 3 live with me;  their mother as well in the process of a divorce, they are 8, 14, 15 and the other grandchild is 6 (my son's daughter) nope can't skip Christmas.  I wasn't going to put up a tree as it wasn't until last week did the kids come back to live with me. In addition to my 4 grandkids my son's girlfriend has 3 kids, 8, 10, 12.  We are celebrating with all the kids at my son's house on the 24th. This is so painful to write, didn't realize how hard it was going to be.  On December 29th would have been my husbands 62d birthday.  In summary I can totally relate to both of you about the holidays.

Comment by Nieta on October 27, 2017 at 4:40pm
What a beautiful experience Cindy! And, yes, I believe.
 

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