Born in the 60s

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Comment by lorioc42 on August 29, 2012 at 12:11pm

My husbands birthday was on 8/26.  Even though I spent it alone, it was ok.

Comment by LifesAJourney on August 29, 2012 at 12:04pm

Hi RedSky, 

What I've done to commemorate my husband's birthday (dec. 26) was to organize a balloon release at the beach. My family members all joined together and we each wrote messages on the balloons, said a prayer and released them to the heavens. (I made sure the balloons were environmentally friendly) Afterward, we all went to a local coffee house and just sat and talked about our memories.  It warmed my heart to share the moment and the memories with those that loved him.

I hope this helps you

 

Comment by MissingRKK on August 29, 2012 at 11:58am

Hi Red Sky,

My husband's 48th birthday was last week. We are at the three month mark of his death.  The days leading up to it were excrutiating and awful but the day itself was lovely.  I just tried to let things unfold in advance about what we were going to do. I was lucky enough to be near the ocean and to be able to go to a special beach where we once rented a house. My kids are 7 and 9. I asked them how they wanted to celebrate their daddy's birthday and they baked him a cake.  Didn't sing happy birthday before we ate it because that was too sad. We did various things on the beach to send messages to Ron. We collected shells and they wrote I love Daddy with them and built a sand heart frame around it.  In the evening, my older daughter wanted to write on shells with markers and send those shells back to the sea.  We did that at low tide and arranged the shells near a jetty so they could be washed back out to the ocean. Ron was radiant when we were at the beach.  He was always beautiful to me but even more so when he was surrounded by water.

My only advice is to do something that feels natural, feels right and to ask your kids what they want to do.

Huge hugs to you!

Comment by RedSkyMT on August 29, 2012 at 11:29am

Hi everyone, this is one of my very first posts.  Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with your husband's birthday?  My husband was born on 9-11.  I'm not looking forward to that day.. I have two kids - 18 year old and 28 year old... would like advice to help them to with the day...  THANKS!!!

Comment by celestia (Suzanne) on August 26, 2012 at 10:40pm

your daughter sounds like good medicine for the blues. That was how my youngest was after LH died. But it's bittersweet. 

Comment by MissingRKK on August 26, 2012 at 10:31pm

Thanks, Nuge. Weddings seem to be on her mind. She told me out of the blue that she wanted a Daddy but did not want me to get remarried. My husband has only been gone a short while. I haven't even considered the idea of dating yet.  She also has been grilling me on who is divorced, who is has been married more than once, etc.  She is a character.

Comment by Nuge on August 26, 2012 at 10:14pm

hard to believe that 7 year olds talk about their weddings. Easy for me to say since I have two boys. I would tell her that her wedding will be unique and different. Good luck with your journey

Comment by MissingRKK on August 26, 2012 at 9:01pm

Rough night tonight. Girls start school tomorrow. 2nd and 4th grade. Last spring I wondered if 1st and 3rd grades would be the year of their Daddy's death or would it be this year.  My rising 2nd (7 year old) grader talked to me tonight about her wedding and who would/could walk her down the isle....  I hate that Ron isn't here to witness this milestone and I just miss him so much. I just want him to come back.

Comment by Singledadof9 on August 17, 2012 at 5:36pm

Mammalee, thanks for that!

Comment by mammalee5 on August 17, 2012 at 5:20pm

Singledad - You and I have an uncannily similar journey.  You've been a mirror and a voice for me more times than I can count, so I'm glad I can return the favor! :)  

MissingRKK - love the bill of rights.  I would add the following:

"You have the right to check out on occassion: to sleep 15 hours (or longer), to read only fiction, to play insane amounts of solitaire, to indulge in trash TV/movie marathons.  It doesn't mean your avoiding your grief.  For goodness sake, you live with it every minute of every day!  Sometimes you just need break."

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