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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the  70s

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Members: 525
Latest Activity: Aug 2

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Comment by MenuFalls on June 15, 2017 at 4:53pm
Thanks Kellygreenstrat. Im thankful for the widows meetup and my group, Im sure even if someone was closer to my age, it would still be different. Like we all say, its a club no one wants to belong in. We have to take each day and live it as happily as we can. Our spouses wouldve wanted it that way!
Comment by kellygreenstrat (Colin) on June 15, 2017 at 3:28pm

Sorry MenuFalls, I understand where you're coming from.  It's tough being shortchanged by 40 or 50 years.  I have found a few groups close by me that have some younger widow/ers there, and it's been helpful.  Of course WV has been my go-to resource along with my counselor.  But being in this place so young feels unnatural, and it sucks.  I hope you find something close enough to try.

Comment by MenuFalls on June 15, 2017 at 1:04pm
I enjoy the meetup group here in Southern Nevada and my widows group,
But I find it hard as most of those people are in their 60-70s and
Had 20-40 years with their husbands. My husband passed away last Dec
At 34 and I will be 39 next month. Its a sadness no one knows and I appreciate having someone to speak to, but I often wish I had as much time with Ron as they had with their spouses.
Comment by too young to be this old on April 15, 2017 at 10:03pm

Lostmyeverything, lately I relate to you March 17 post. I am all over the map, but mostly angry. And `wanting more`. I want to just move on already, but that is not possible, I am still clearly and squarely in the middle of chaotic grieving - hard to move on from such a grey, void place. I feel time is wasting and life is slipping by- and then the cycle of grief goes back to anger and the most useless of questions - `why`.

Comment by guilloma on March 18, 2017 at 5:26pm

Thank you for the suggestion, Rob.  I keep flirting with Meetup, as a way to get out, but it feels too soon: I just don't care.  However, I did notice that in my area of far Northern California, there is no group for widowed people. It is a good suggestion to start up one.  

Comment by Rob-edmonton on March 18, 2017 at 2:40pm

p.s. I used to live near Detroit and I have to give credit to Sherry in Detroit who started the Detroit Widowed group there in meetup, as that was what helped me in the beginning.

Comment by Rob-edmonton on March 18, 2017 at 2:40pm

p.s. I used to live near Detroit and I have to give credit to Sherry in Detroit who started the Detroit Widowed group there in meetup, as that was what helped me in the beginning.

Comment by Rob-edmonton on March 18, 2017 at 2:39pm

What I did to help myself  ....  a know of lot of us here are very new and fresh, and perhaps not able to take on a bit of a challenge.  But if you are ready for a small but rewarding challenge, how is what I did and it might work out for you too.  I started a Widowed group for my city (Edmonton) on www.meetup.com.  It cost me $200 a year to do it but it was the best investment I could make.  I set the meetup for every friday at the same bar and over the last year, the group has grown to 90 members with about 16 regular folks coming.  It's a great source of support to have a beer or wine with some widowed people.  Feel free to check out my group and copy if if you like it.  https://www.meetup.com/Edmonton-Widows-Widowers-Meetup/

Comment by Lostmyeverything on March 17, 2017 at 4:47pm
Feeling many feelings. I am all over the place. I am feeling a little bit of anger and abandonment this week. He did not wish this illness upon himself so why did this feeling that he abandoned me creep up on me this week. According to grief pamphlet the grief counselor gave me, anger and abandonment are part of grieving process. The abandonment feeling was so strong this week....I love my children and remind myself when this feeling creeps up that they are a wonderful gift that were a created because of our union....then the why creeps in... Why....I was he taken so soon. Every day when my sons and I sit at the table for a meal and say prayers, I thank god for the 14 1/2 years I had with him, because I am suppose to be thankful. I have to remind myself to be thankful, every minute of every day. I am greedy, I wanted more. I feel childish by saying 'it's not fair'. I have been told that God does not give us what we can't handle. I keep rubbing my head with that one. I guess in time, when I can look back maybe I will agree with that but right now that is hard to swallow. Just rambling tonight....my thoughts are all over th map
Comment by BeStillAndKnow on March 13, 2017 at 2:22pm

Hi Kim, the Holidays were really tough on me too. Dec. 21st was the first anniversary of my husband's death. I thought I was handling everything with grace and doing well; I hosted Christmas for my bigger family at my home, cooked, wrapped made it look like I had it completely together. Then the night before New Year's I had a total panic attack, the worst I've ever had in my life (also found out I had hypertension). I spent 9 days in the hospital (psych). I'm not crazy but I sure felt like I was loosing my mind. The holidays are tough times and having a melt down does seem common. You are totally normal, and not alone.

 

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