This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Born in the  70s

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Comment Wall


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Comment by Parsnip on September 28, 2016 at 6:56am

I'm attending Camp Widow in Toronto this weekend - my biggest hope for it is to meet other people in the same age group.  My support group is great, but I have those "you don't understand" moments a lot.  I feel like people get part of it because of various things that have happened to them, but not the entire impact.

Comment by Inafog213 on September 28, 2016 at 6:36am
Hi Angie8,
I totally understand what your going through. My husband passed on August 10th. He was 43, I'm 40. I'm glad I found this site and others who understand our pain.
Comment by BatteryParkWidower on September 13, 2016 at 8:11pm

Late night hugs and prayers to all of you... I had to fill in a lengthy form to transfer my late wife's brokerage account to the Estate account.  The checkboxes for marital status really got to me as well.  Checking of "Widowed" was brutal.

Comment by Parsnip on September 9, 2016 at 9:08pm

I had a similar experience - I lost my partner Peter on Aug 15 of this year.  I was filling out some paperwork since then and had to put my mother as my emergency contact person.  I've been living with my cousin and his wife since Peter died - I'm 44 and feel like I'm a child again.  

Comment by barsoom (Alex) on September 8, 2016 at 6:41am

Inafog213--I understand. I had to fill out paperwork for my son's Pre-K, and it hurt to write "deceased" for mother.

I am 43, and it breaks my heart to know that our kids grow up without their mom. I cannot go into the nursery in our house. Shelly decorated it for Anora. She SO looked forward to having a girl to dress up and do girly stuff with, but we never brought Anora home. She was still in NICU when Shelly was discharged.

Comment by t2 on September 7, 2016 at 3:27pm
I'm so sorry, Inafog213. Those early days, weeks, and months are full of those "surprises". Wishing you peace.
Comment by Inafog213 on September 7, 2016 at 3:10pm
Hi everyone, Today is 4 weeks since my dear husband passed away. I had a dermatologist appt today and had to complete paperwork, it really hit me when it asked for my marital status, spouses name and #, not to mention my emergency contact. I had to select "widow". It just broke my heart, still doesn't feel real, how can I be a widow, I'm 40 and have a 4 year old. I still can't believe my husband is gone.
School started yesterday and I feel like the "neighborhood moms" look at me differently now. I just want to scream, I'm still the same person, you can talk to me and not give me that look.
I'm glad I found this site and others in my age group who can relate.
Comment by sknj on September 5, 2016 at 4:56am
Hi Alex,
I can relate with so much of what you've written. I have done bereavement groups and it is so very hard to relate to others who have lost their spouses in their 60s, 70s and 80s. Their experiences as empty nesters and wondering how to fill their retirement years is something I cannot understand. Almost 10 months ago my husband died of brain cancer at 37 years old. I feel like I do not have enough time; time to grieve, time to raise two small children, run a house, prepare meals, wipe bums and now, for me, returning to work.

It is all so overwhelming. I know that people will tell you that you are doing great and you are not alone but it almost never feels that way (at least not right now). I feel like I am struggling and I feel very alone. I guess what I mean to say is that that's okay. We are doing our best and we are doing right by our children and that is something to be proud of. Take care.
Comment by barsoom (Alex) on September 4, 2016 at 8:30pm

Baby is in another state with my SIL. She was born with serious health problems at 37 weeks. We knew about some of the problems going in, but not all. Shelly (my wife) was the one who researched all of the treatmeht options, etc. I know very little, so I had to learn quickly and trust the doctors. She was born 6/24/16, and spent 3 about  weeks home, altogether. My family is overseas, friends are helping, but it is just me and the boys at the house.

My youngest has a cold and eat infection, and he is quick to say that he loves mom, and does not like me :-(. I am trying. Go to bed at 12 and get 7p at 5:30, to leave the house by 7. Everybody tells me how great I am doing. No one sees my frustration and tears. The are moments when I do not know what even to feed them....l

Comment by Gypsy J on September 4, 2016 at 8:21pm
Do you have family and friends to help when you need a break, Alex? Especially as you have a tiny one in the hospital? That alone is cause for stress and youngest was born at 26 weeks gestation and spent 129 days in the hospital and I can't even remember how I got through that time...I just remember the extreme fatigue and worry, but I had my husband to help me during that time. You are definitely under different circumstances and I can't even imagine how hard this all is for you. I'm so sorry. :(

Here's hoping you have family and friends to help carry that heavy load so you can take care of you as well.

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