This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Born in the  70s

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Comment by tooyoungtobealone on January 19, 2018 at 10:51am

My husband passed away suddenly in November.  He was 40 years old and I found him unconscious and not breathing at home. We have two children (9&11) that I am now raising alone.  The grief is tremendous and comes in waves. I am desperately seeking normal, but normal does not exist for me anymore.  I can mostly manage to keep it together ok at home, but almost any little thing brings on the flow of tears.  Today it was our daughter receiving academic awards at school.  All I wanted to do was call/text him about it. To share this with the one person who would be as proud/happy/excited as I was for our daughter.  Things went further downhill when I had to list an emergency contact on the intake form for a grief therapist. My person is gone and I have no idea what life has in store for me anymore.  My vision for us raising the kids, watching them reach milestones, retiring and traveling together will never happen.  What does my future hold? Right now I feel like I will never truly smile again.

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:22am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

Comment by Lostmyeverything on November 25, 2017 at 5:34pm
I am sure this may have been posted here at some point in the past...but in case it never was, here it is- brought a little comfor to me this evening.
I stumbled upon it in a memorial section of a support group my husband and I turned to many times during his illness.

A letter sent from your angel in heaven-
To my dearest family,
Some things i'd like to say
But first of all to let you know
That i arrived OK.

Im writing this from Heaven,
Where i dwell with God above
Where theres no more tears or sadness.
There is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
Just because I'm out of sight;
Remember that I'm with you,
Every morning, noon and night.

That day i had to leave you
When my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me
And he said I welcome you.

Its good to have you back again
You were missed while you were gone
As for your dearest family
They'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly
As part of My big plan,
There's so much that we have to do,
To help our mortal man.

Then God gave me a list of things
He wished for me to do,
And foremost on that list of mine,
Is to watch and care for you.

And i will be beside you,
Every day, week and year,
And when your sad i'm standing there
To wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night,
The day's chores put to flight,
God and I closer to you
In the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth
And all those living years,
Because your only human
They are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry,
It dose relieve the pain;
Remember there would be no flowers
Unless there was some rain.

I wish that i could tell you
Of all that God has planned,
But if i were to tell you,
You wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain
Though my life on earth is over,
I'm closer to you now
Then i ever was before.

And to my very many friends
Trust God knows what is best
I'm still not far away from you
I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
And many hills to climb,
But together we can do it,
Taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
And i'd like it for you too
That as you give unto the World
So the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody
Who's in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to god at night
My day was not in vain.

And now i am contended
That my life it was worth while
Knowing that i passed along the way
I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody
Who is down and feeling low
Just lend a hand to pick him up
As on your way you go.

When you are walking down the street
And you've got me on your mind
I'm walking in your footsteps
Only half a step behind.

And when you feel that gentle breeze
Or the wind apon your face
Thats me giving you a great big hug
Or just a soft embrace

And when its time for you to go
From that body to be free
Remenber you are not going
You are coming here to me.

And i will always love you
From the land way up apove,
Will be in touch soon
P.S. God sends HIS LOVE
Comment by MenuFalls on June 15, 2017 at 4:53pm
Thanks Kellygreenstrat. Im thankful for the widows meetup and my group, Im sure even if someone was closer to my age, it would still be different. Like we all say, its a club no one wants to belong in. We have to take each day and live it as happily as we can. Our spouses wouldve wanted it that way!
Comment by kellygreenstrat (Colin) on June 15, 2017 at 3:28pm

Sorry MenuFalls, I understand where you're coming from.  It's tough being shortchanged by 40 or 50 years.  I have found a few groups close by me that have some younger widow/ers there, and it's been helpful.  Of course WV has been my go-to resource along with my counselor.  But being in this place so young feels unnatural, and it sucks.  I hope you find something close enough to try.

Comment by MenuFalls on June 15, 2017 at 1:04pm
I enjoy the meetup group here in Southern Nevada and my widows group,
But I find it hard as most of those people are in their 60-70s and
Had 20-40 years with their husbands. My husband passed away last Dec
At 34 and I will be 39 next month. Its a sadness no one knows and I appreciate having someone to speak to, but I often wish I had as much time with Ron as they had with their spouses.
Comment by too young to be this old on April 15, 2017 at 10:03pm

Lostmyeverything, lately I relate to you March 17 post. I am all over the map, but mostly angry. And `wanting more`. I want to just move on already, but that is not possible, I am still clearly and squarely in the middle of chaotic grieving - hard to move on from such a grey, void place. I feel time is wasting and life is slipping by- and then the cycle of grief goes back to anger and the most useless of questions - `why`.

Comment by guilloma (Joanna) on March 18, 2017 at 5:26pm

Thank you for the suggestion, Rob.  I keep flirting with Meetup, as a way to get out, but it feels too soon: I just don't care.  However, I did notice that in my area of far Northern California, there is no group for widowed people. It is a good suggestion to start up one.  

Comment by Rob-edmonton on March 18, 2017 at 2:40pm

p.s. I used to live near Detroit and I have to give credit to Sherry in Detroit who started the Detroit Widowed group there in meetup, as that was what helped me in the beginning.

Comment by Rob-edmonton on March 18, 2017 at 2:40pm

p.s. I used to live near Detroit and I have to give credit to Sherry in Detroit who started the Detroit Widowed group there in meetup, as that was what helped me in the beginning.


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