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Born in the  70s

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Members: 620
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Comment by Whitedoves9698 on August 12, 2018 at 9:30am

Anyone live near st Louis missouri ?

Comment by MidnightBear (Tony) on August 6, 2018 at 5:49am

beautifulbreeze - I can definitely recognize your pain in losing someone so close.  My wife and I had just 2 months before she passed been talking with our financial planner about retirement.  We were planning to retire in 10 years while we were still young and could enjoy the time.  Funny how life smacks you up side the head.  We never had kids or even pets, so my world is rather lonely these days.  Chatting on here from time to time, and posting against messages I have time to read through does help to pull me up a bit to take that next step forward.  I also try to do at least one thing a week that we would have done together.  Like going for a bike ride, taking out my kayak or hiking one of the local trails these were all things she would have wanted to do.  Me I would have been happy to sit on the couch and watch TV.  I drive myself to get out each weekend to do just something.  Try to find ways to stay in touch with who you were together and find some comfort in that as well.  

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on August 5, 2018 at 9:57am

Beautifulbreeze and Lifeunknown, I'm 8 months out and I can say it's still very painful but it's a more tolerable type of pain.  I only had five years with my wonderful man.  We never married because I wanted to wait until my youngest child (16) was in college.  My only regret is not marrying him.  I'm so sorry you've had to find us, but please don't lose hope for much brighter days ahead.

@Armelles, I am already thinking about when my baby leaves the nest.  Then the NOW what.  I have no plans to date or anything of the sort until she's out of the house at least.  (if ever) 

@Lostmyeverything, did you ever find a puppy?

Comment by Armelles on August 4, 2018 at 10:05am

Hi beautifulbreeze70, I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t post much, but your comment about your youngest turning 18 soon hits home. My youngest will be 18 in November. I lost Bryan 4 years ago. I’ve spent that time taking care of her and her older sister. It terrifies me that this time next year I will be helping her pack to move to college and then they will both be away for the school year. And I will be alone. Ugh. The “empty nest” comments already. And the overwhelming feeling of “now what”.  I got that feeling a minute after he died and it hasn’t gone away.  Now what?  You’re not alone and others share all those feelings. The wanting more time. The urge to scream at the universe.  It’s not easy, but you’ll make it. I tell myself, and the girls, it will be ok. Just not the ok we wanted or planned on.  Hang in there. 

And AJ—I totally get the unblocking the toilet thing. I’m proud to announce I took apart the kitchen sink plumbing, snaked the drain and put it back together this week.  Who would have thought becoming a widow would bring plumbing skills with it. 

Comment by Lifeunknown17 on August 4, 2018 at 6:12am

Hello beautifulbreeze70.  I too have just recently joined this group site.  I had to laugh, then cry, the other day when i 1st seen your screen name. My recently past princess, used to use the 70 on most of her names.  as she was born in 70. My Wife, had battled lung cancer for 10months. lost the fight just this past June. We had a very short 8yrs together.  I had just read your post in an email. I FEEL yer pain.  Too bad we cant give and receive hugs over the net.  dont know about any of you, but i could sure use a crying sobbing hug.  sucks being a guy dealing with this type of loss. well in my case it does anyhow.    

Comment by AJ on August 3, 2018 at 4:51pm

Hi beautifulbreeze70, I hear you. My husband went to the gym one morning at age 45 and never came home. He left me and our three kids aged just 7, 6 and 2 at the time. It’s been 5 years now and the success and happiness of our kids is what I focus on. I’ve just finished two Saturday morning games of field hockey for my eldest and youngest and even now I think of how dearly he would have loved to be cheering on from the sidelines and I know it would have been him not me that jumped in to ref today. And it would most definitely have been him that unblocked the toilet I discovered when we got home!! I’m different today than I was. I’m proud of the ‘manly’ things I now do without blinking an eye and I know it is teaching my kids resilience when they see me step in when their friends mothers squeal and back away from things that just need to be done because their husbands can do it. I used to be one of those women so I understand but it is a lonely path we walk now. I wish you all the best as you now learn to walk this path none of us chose. 

Comment by t2 on August 3, 2018 at 12:01pm

Hi beautifulbreeze70. I’m so sorry. There are no words. It is comforting to have this site to come to to vent. 

Comment by beautifulbreeze70 on August 3, 2018 at 11:48am

Hello Everyone,

I just joined.  My name is Laura and I am from Sacramento, Ca.  I lost my husband 3 months ago, he was only 49.  It was a heart attach.  He kissed me goodnight and the next morning he was gone.  I have struggled to find any type of group for people our age online or in person. I have the support of fiends and family but really need to connect with others who are going through the loss of a spouse.  At age 47, with our kids all grown and the last one about to turn 18 in September, I just can't believe that I won't be spending all my time finally with him.  I too just sit and think, how could this have happened, how can this be my life now.  I try to remain grateful for the time I had with him but there are more days than not that I find myself screaming inside "I want more time" and I don't understand how to process that overwhelming feeling of how can I go one more day without him.  But you do, you go on for your family, your kids, and hopefully yourself just to honor your lost love.  It is a comfort to read all your posts and know that I am not alone.  

Comment by Lostmyeverything on July 22, 2018 at 5:34pm


Hugs to all.

I was 45 when my husband passed 19 months ago. I relate to your comment, 'I can't believe this is my life', I hear myself saying that to myself often these days. When that pops into my mind, I try to think of my children and how grateful and blessed I am to have had  two loving children with the man I loved so dearly... and try to push the exhaustion aside, praying I will one day have energy again. Love to all, Denise

Comment by AML on July 22, 2018 at 4:13pm

Hi Linz, 

I'm not on here very much either but I saw your comment tonight and just wanted to let you know I understand.  I just turned 45, and lost my husband/best friend/everything almost 9 months ago.  I'm tired, too, and today I just miss him so much.  I'm just starting to be intentional about trying to take care of myself better.  I love that you try to remain grateful, I do too.  Wishing you peace and continued healing.  Amy


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