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Born in the  70s

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Comment by KitKat on November 29, 2011 at 6:44pm
I missed the hospice tree lighting ceremony tonight....I hate that I couldn't get there to light a stupid candle. I just wanted to have one nice reflective moment in my day of crazy motherhood. My son has a major ear infection and we are under construction to recover from a leak this summer. I am just so sick and tired of not having enough time to get everything done. I used to besotted efficient and effective. I need 6 more hous added to each day...who can I submit my request to for 30 hour days? But really...anyone else having a hard time getting things done that used to be easy?
Comment by jules on November 23, 2011 at 12:36pm

I talk to Tony all the time too.  He asked me before he died to read to him.  While he was sick we used to read together - one of my favorite memories.  So I honour my promise and I don't care how freaky it is!  Keep up the chatter because I know it helps me!

Comment by Booworks on November 23, 2011 at 8:17am
I still talk to Richard and I see him in so many little things. I saw a college student yesterday that looked so much like him and I wanted to go over and hug him. Richard never answers, but I feel his presence in so many things that I can't help but think he's still here.
Comment by Chris on November 23, 2011 at 6:12am

I talk to my late wife regularly.  There are times when I just know she had her hand in something - especially when it's something embarrassing for me or something to test my patience.  I just KNOW she's still testing me...

Comment by mscevinger on November 23, 2011 at 6:08am

I still talk to my husband every day...and like you, he doesn't answer back :)  I talk to his pictures (like he is there listening to me).  Although, I don't talk to him around my kids because I don't want them to be scared for me...like I am totally losing it and going CRAZY.  I know my husband is gone and he is not there but I try to tell him things happening with me or our kids.  I tell him how much I miss and love him.  I even kiss his pictures (sometimes).  If you are a freak, then we can be freaks together.

Comment by KitKat on November 23, 2011 at 5:14am
Hi everyone. My hubby has been gone for just over 1 year now and I am still completely talking to him all the time. No...he doesn't talk back (haha) but I just talk to him like he's still here. Our kids are 22 (my stepdaughter), 10, and 6. I just wanted to know if anyone else talks to them like I do. I'm starting to think I'm a freak. I miss him so much I think I like to pretend he's still here.
Comment by jules on November 14, 2011 at 3:22pm

A friend sent me this poem today - thought i'd share it

To mourn too long
for those we love
is self indulgent-
but to honour
their memory
with a promise
to live a little better
for having known
them,
gives purpose to their life-
and some reason
for their
death.......

i find sundays rough too - i try and keep busy on the weekends and my mind occupied - walking helps and being in nature and just breathing in and out - pushing through the pain.  Tony taught me so much about how to live and how to be - i know he would be so proud of me and that gives me the strength to do this.

 

Comment by Chris on November 14, 2011 at 4:44am

I hear you, Kim.  I remember filling out a form a week after my wife died & putting a check into the 'widowed' box.  It stung pretty bad - we're not supposed to be widowed until we're in our 70s, with the kids out of the house & with their families and us enjoying retirement.  But it is our unfortunate reality to be in the situations we're in.  But it is also our choice to make - whether we make the best of what we're left with, or focus on what will never be again.  

 

The former may be a tough path to travel, but the latter will break anyone that chooses it.

Comment by trucker's wife on November 13, 2011 at 8:27pm

Heather-I do dread the weekends altogether too.  I can always start to see my mood drop (as if it could get worse...but yes it does) on Thursday evenings.  I would get very anxious because I could not stand to sit around the house.  I needed to keep us (my son and I) busy.  But no matter how busy I kept us, the Sunday nights just make me ache.  My husband was gone during the week so our weekends were so precious for our family.  I have recently started going out to try and have fun*  but note the asterisk...I feel like everything I do now has to include an asterisk so no one can mistake my current fun to my old fun...nothing is the same, nothing.  Thanks for the comments, it helps when I feel so alone. -Kim (trucker's wife)

Comment by cutie on November 13, 2011 at 8:06pm

Trucker's wife...weekends are the worst for me.Friday night's were family night and then our time after the kids were in bed so I find myself dreading the weekend.Once I found some friends to go out with I almost started going out every weekend and then the reality got hold of me before I hurt my children. I try to escape one night every other weekend but still stay home and go crazy most Fri,Sat and Sun nights.I hope some day it won't be this way but it has been almost five months and I am still lost,sad,mad,lonely,devastated....etc,etc. My father in law keeps talking about us working on figuring out our "new normal"----well I do not want the new normal,like that will change it or something(haha) Nobody really understands the hurt except us,I cannot pretend to understand the hurt those aroound me feel because mine is so wretched and I can only hope that others are not as tortured in their heart as I am.Love and hugs to you,Heather(cutie)

 

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