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Born in the  70s

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Members: 614
Latest Activity: Mar 9

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Comment by Krista W. (whoknows) on November 30, 2011 at 5:43pm

Hi, everyone. Just wanted to let everyone know about a new group here on Widowed Village for widows/widowers of partners who struggled with substance abuse/addiction issues (whether or not that was the cause of death). The group is private, so it's not Google-searchable and not visible to those not in the group, making it a safe space to share. If you would like an invite or more information, message me and I'll get you set up.

I have put the word out to those who have openly shared such concerns, but I know it's not always easy to talk about those things publicly, so I wanted to put the invite out there again in case there is anyone I may have missed.

-Krista

 

Comment by KitKat on November 29, 2011 at 6:44pm
And I really appreciate you all telling me you talk to them too!!! Thanks a million!
Comment by KitKat on November 29, 2011 at 6:44pm
I missed the hospice tree lighting ceremony tonight....I hate that I couldn't get there to light a stupid candle. I just wanted to have one nice reflective moment in my day of crazy motherhood. My son has a major ear infection and we are under construction to recover from a leak this summer. I am just so sick and tired of not having enough time to get everything done. I used to besotted efficient and effective. I need 6 more hous added to each day...who can I submit my request to for 30 hour days? But really...anyone else having a hard time getting things done that used to be easy?
Comment by jules on November 23, 2011 at 12:36pm

I talk to Tony all the time too.  He asked me before he died to read to him.  While he was sick we used to read together - one of my favorite memories.  So I honour my promise and I don't care how freaky it is!  Keep up the chatter because I know it helps me!

Comment by Booworks on November 23, 2011 at 8:17am
I still talk to Richard and I see him in so many little things. I saw a college student yesterday that looked so much like him and I wanted to go over and hug him. Richard never answers, but I feel his presence in so many things that I can't help but think he's still here.
Comment by Chris on November 23, 2011 at 6:12am

I talk to my late wife regularly.  There are times when I just know she had her hand in something - especially when it's something embarrassing for me or something to test my patience.  I just KNOW she's still testing me...

Comment by mscevinger on November 23, 2011 at 6:08am

I still talk to my husband every day...and like you, he doesn't answer back :)  I talk to his pictures (like he is there listening to me).  Although, I don't talk to him around my kids because I don't want them to be scared for me...like I am totally losing it and going CRAZY.  I know my husband is gone and he is not there but I try to tell him things happening with me or our kids.  I tell him how much I miss and love him.  I even kiss his pictures (sometimes).  If you are a freak, then we can be freaks together.

Comment by KitKat on November 23, 2011 at 5:14am
Hi everyone. My hubby has been gone for just over 1 year now and I am still completely talking to him all the time. No...he doesn't talk back (haha) but I just talk to him like he's still here. Our kids are 22 (my stepdaughter), 10, and 6. I just wanted to know if anyone else talks to them like I do. I'm starting to think I'm a freak. I miss him so much I think I like to pretend he's still here.
Comment by jules on November 14, 2011 at 3:22pm

A friend sent me this poem today - thought i'd share it

To mourn too long
for those we love
is self indulgent-
but to honour
their memory
with a promise
to live a little better
for having known
them,
gives purpose to their life-
and some reason
for their
death.......

i find sundays rough too - i try and keep busy on the weekends and my mind occupied - walking helps and being in nature and just breathing in and out - pushing through the pain.  Tony taught me so much about how to live and how to be - i know he would be so proud of me and that gives me the strength to do this.

 

Comment by Chris on November 14, 2011 at 4:44am

I hear you, Kim.  I remember filling out a form a week after my wife died & putting a check into the 'widowed' box.  It stung pretty bad - we're not supposed to be widowed until we're in our 70s, with the kids out of the house & with their families and us enjoying retirement.  But it is our unfortunate reality to be in the situations we're in.  But it is also our choice to make - whether we make the best of what we're left with, or focus on what will never be again.  

 

The former may be a tough path to travel, but the latter will break anyone that chooses it.

 

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