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Born in the  70s

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Comment by Clare on May 16, 2019 at 9:08pm

SFbay

I feel this way all the time. I was born in 79 and he was born in 76. He walked out the door and I went looking for him when he didn't come back. I found him gone (heart related) on my front door step. My youngest has the same thing wrong with him but now we know and can monitor it. Still scares me though. That I could lose him too.

Comment by SFbay on May 16, 2019 at 8:55pm

I was born in 1977 and he was in 1976...

I really wish when I wake up tomorrow morning, I am 70 years old/ 80 years old....

I am 41 and what if I live another 40-50 years... I am scared....

Comment by Sad in Milton Keynes on May 15, 2019 at 4:54am

Born in 1972, he was born in '70..

Comment by Sad in Milton Keynes on May 15, 2019 at 3:26am

Hi Manjo, my email address is [email protected] Please contact me. It would be wonderful to connect with you.

Comment by Sad in Milton Keynes on May 15, 2019 at 3:11am

Hi Manjo, please contact me directly if you can. I too am an African, from Kenya, but live in England, we moved here from America 2 years before my husband got leukaemia. He passed away 2 years later, and left me with a now 9 year old. It's tough and lonely, and I have not met many Africans who's husbands have died in their 40s, esp from cancer. So I would love to chat and connect with you:)

Comment by Manjo on May 14, 2019 at 5:24am
  1. Lusaka Zambia, Africa. I lost my husband in December 2012 after losing the battle to prostate cancer that had spread, it was a very difficult time but I give thanks to God who cares for us. The past 6 years have been very lonely because I had to move to my country where I had not lived for many years and everyone has their own thing going on with their families. We never had any children, and sometimes you just need someone to talk to and I doesn't matter what the subject is because it just gets too quiet at times. Its not easy making new friends at a certain age but I still smile every time I think of something good.
Comment by AMA on December 16, 2018 at 8:53pm

NYC Widow 71.....I’m so sorry to hear about what is going on. My husband passed away almost 6 years ago.  I have 3 children who keep me very busy. My youngest (8) is a very athletic little boy. I find myself having to “hang out” with the Dads at football, baseball, soccer etc.  I always felt that they bent over backwards to make me feel comfortable. Lately it’s clear that I am the only woman...and no longer welcome in boy world. In addition my girl friends (all married like yours) simply talk about all the fun vacations they are taking to celebrate anniversaries, how they are remodeling their houses etc. There are at least 3 Holiday parties I was not invited to this season as well. I’m struggling to figure out where I fit in.  Not married but not single (I’m not ready to date). Trying to be a Mom and a Dad but not included in the Dads group. Not able to engage in conversation with my girl friends!  

So I feel your loneliness and understand too well what you are facing. Sadly I am not anywhere near NYC as I live in Southern California but hopefully knowing that you are not alone will help a little. I hope you are able to plug into a good group someday soon. Until then stay strong.  

Comment by NYC Widow 71 on December 14, 2018 at 5:54am

Hi all. Is there anyone here who lives in or near New York City?

I'm 47 and my husband died 3 years ago. Losing him has led to a cascade of additional losses. Since he died, most of our friends have disappeared, especially the couples. I think they just don't know what to do with me. No one wants a sad third (or fifth) wheel tagging along. At least that's how they've made me feel.

Most of my girlfriends are married, some with kids. Many have left NYC for suburbs or cities farther away. I love my friends and I am glad they're happy in their lives, but I have no peers, no one who understands the unimaginable loneliness of losing a partner.

I've tried so hard to make new friends and I'm not giving up, but I'm angry that I have to start over at my age. I have a good job and find comfort in support groups. Still, the loneliness eats at me and doesn't let me rest.

Comment by Rollercoaster on December 8, 2018 at 2:36am

You are doing everything right. With grief we share but do not compare. Follow your heart. If it feels right do it, do it.

Most widows need to continue to work and get out. I was different. I needed rest. I simplified. I am a stay at home parent of 4 involved athletic and band students.  I choose to volunteer as I find time and energy.

Fulfill the dreams you shared with you husband, but do not expect the same timeline. Be kind to yourself.

Comment by SandyKay on December 8, 2018 at 1:13am

I've heard 4 & 6 months & that scares me if I'm being honest. 4 months will be right after the new year. I delayed my school a semester due to the stress load and not functioning well in the first 2 months. I went back to school for my BA in Ele Ed. Mark was my biggest cheerleader & he wanted me to have something more in case something ever happened to him. I was set to graduate in May 19'. I'm still completing my fall classes with an incomplete student teach in the fall. I have a HUGE church family support & my neighbors, fellow band parents are there when needed. My neighbor came down & finished the drive & a band dad fixed my door. I have churches across this country that pray, message me, give me a place to go visit when the walls are closing in on me.

 

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