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Born in the 80s

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Members: 264
Latest Activity: May 3

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Comment by Coral on April 1, 2016 at 10:13pm

Sosie03, It's not fair! I see his parents cry for him, I cry for him, it hurts so much to think he should be here. Its hard to make sense of it all and try to figure out or even think of life, without him. I feel for you and am sorry I am not alone. What keeps me going is the day I give birth to our baby, feeling I'll be able to see him in his eyes.

Comment by sosie03 on March 17, 2016 at 2:13am
I am so sorry for your loss coral!!! I lost my husband December 4th 2015 and was 5 months pregnant at the time. We found out 2 days before he got sick that we were having a boy he was so excited. I too find myself happy and sad when baby kicks. I feel completely lost without him but somehow we manage to pick up the pieces and take one step at a time. This journey is not fair!!
Comment by Coral on March 16, 2016 at 6:33pm
Hi... I am 23, and just lost my partner. He was my everything... After trying to start a family, we had a previous miscarriage and were so excited when we found out we were expecting again with a healthy baby boy... He had talked about all the things he'd do with and for him. He would read about pregnancy and ways to be there for me and support me throughout... He passed away in this past Feb, at the age of 25... we had out whole life planned out together... We were so excited for our future... I'm now 6months pregnant and find it so hard, because I'll smile when the baby kicks...and cry because I know how excited he was when he first felt him,.. And how excited he was for his coming....
Comment by MEBSY3483 on March 16, 2016 at 4:31am

I was 32 when I lost my husband who was 39. He was my best friend my rock my everything. I would say that the first three months are the hardest. You find a little more strength as time goes by.Finding a support system is going to be your best asset. I felt like I was alone that no one understood what I was going through so I reached out got some counseling and have attended some grief counseling groups and it's helped make me feel a bit stronger. Hugs to you!!

Comment by SassyMama on February 24, 2016 at 1:06am

Hi all. I am new to this experience of life. My sweet husband Christopher past away unexpectedly January 23, 2016. We had three children together in our 10.5 years together, our son 9 who watched his father pass away in front of him while here at home. I had run to the grocery store to pick up much needed supplies since my husband had been sick with pneumonia for a couple of weeks at that point. Apparently, proved to be too much strain on his heart and triggered a heart attack. He was 39 years old, I am 31. I feel so completely lost, and scared by this great big world I suddenly find myself thrust into. So, completely unlike myself. My husband was not only my best friend but also my soulmate. Yesterday, was my hardest day yet as it was his 1 month since his passing. And I was trying to clear out the messages on our answering machine and came across a message he had left me to tell me to wake up, it had been time to get the kids up. At that time he was in the hospital. He had come home for about two weeks before he past. I lost it, screamed and cried. Wanted to join him. I am currently a stay-at-home mom, I am having to move in with my in-laws to try and establish a support structure in another state then where I currently live in; in able to go back to school and get back to work. How does one get past this in their life? I feel like I have lost who I was, part of me died that day to. I have never felt so miserable in my entire life.

Comment by KayeL on February 21, 2016 at 12:29pm
Lisa864, I feel the same. My husband died 1.5 month ago and I feel miserable. We used to plan things to do with baby, now he's dead, I just don't feel like doing anything. I see that we live close, maybe we should meet up! Write me, Lisa 864.
Comment by Lisa864 on February 21, 2016 at 7:45am

I have those days a lot too. They are awful. The nights and weekends are the worst, because instead of being excited to do things with my husband as I was before, I dread the loneliness and chores and exhaustion of being a single parent to a baby. It's a terrible thing to lose your husband and partner and that fact that we are all surviving however we can is an accomplishment, I think. 

Comment by danteprayer14 on February 21, 2016 at 6:46am

I'm having one of those intensely depressed days where I can't see much positiveness in my future.  I realize that's kinda dumb - because even when Tom was alive, it wasn't like my future was set in stone.  My future is and always will be unknown.  But on days like this, I just feel the overwhelming sense that I do not want to live like this -  essentially alone, with no one to plan things with or plan around.  It's freeing to do what I want, I guess in a way, but it's also lonely and miserable.  Even when I do things with friends or family, he or she always "goes back" to their life - either with their partners, their kids.  I lost my primary family member.  And being with Tom, it somehow made that "unknown" future bearable - I believed I could weather anything if he was around.   But Tom's death was not something I considered.  And I really need my best friend around - Tom - to help me with his own death!   This whole thing just sucks and it's incredibly unfair - for us all. 

Comment by Hopeful30 on February 17, 2016 at 5:24am
Danteprayer14, I don't feel my husband's presence like I thought I would, but I trust that he or some greater power is out there. Whenever I get really depressed and think I can't possibly go on, something reminds me of him, a song or a some sign, or I get a worried text message from a friend. I was writing my will a few weeks back and I got this panicked message from a friend asking if I was ok. I believe we are all connected, but our human senses just aren't strong enough to pick up on their presence all the time.
Comment by danteprayer14 on February 17, 2016 at 4:53am

Adulting does seem to take up a lot of time - I work and thank god for that, as it's super distracting and the people there are supportive.  Coming home at night is the worst - it's when I realize Tom is really gone and gone permanently.  I try to stay busy too - I run, I read, I cook things that take time.  We couldn't have kids - so sometimes I'm happy about that.  Other times I think that kids would have been the only way he might have lived on.   Do you feel your partner's presence at all?   Sometimes, I get these glimpses, but I don't feel him like I imagined I would.  I was so certain before his death in my beliefs, but I have to say I'm doubting things more.

 

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