Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Born in the 80s

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Members: 175
Latest Activity: Oct 17

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Comment by 7greatyears on October 17, 2014 at 11:25pm

Thanks CaseyLea - I've emailed you!

Comment by CaseyLea7 on October 17, 2014 at 11:08pm

Wow, 6 years, that must have been an emotionally exhausting journey.  Even under control, cancer treatments take their toll.  He was lucky to have you by his side.

My Chris was sick for 13 months, but the last 3 months were the worst for us.  His was very advanced at diagnosis, so we knew what we were dealing with to some degree, but still wasn't ready for that with a 32 year old husband.

For me at the end there was an odd sense of relief of the constant stress, caring for and worrying about how he was doing mixed with painful loneliness in missing my best friend.  Wish I could give you advice on what has made it easier, but I don't have anything profound.

I assume you were married for seven years?  So sorry you missed out the decades you deserved.  My email is kcwickham7@yahoo.com if you need a friend or someone to listen.

Comment by 7greatyears on October 17, 2014 at 10:39pm

My husband's name is Chris too. He had cancer for 6 years but it was always very manageable. Earlier this year it got into his brain and treatment just stopped working so the past 6 months were intense. I feel very lonely. I have a lot of support but I feel like nobody gets it...but how would they, right?
How long was your Chris sick for?

Comment by CaseyLea7 on October 17, 2014 at 10:00pm

I lost Chris to cancer 4 months ago.  I have personally found that people have trouble with how to be supportive or how to handle a loss of someone young and can be lonely.  If you ever feel that way, feel free to reach out.

How long was your husband sick?  How are you doing?

Comment by 7greatyears on October 17, 2014 at 9:33pm

Thanks CaseyLea7 - you as well. How long ago did your husband pass away?

Comment by CaseyLea7 on October 17, 2014 at 9:29pm
Thinking of you 7great years. My husband was 32. Wish you didn't have to suffer this kind of loss.
Comment by 7greatyears on October 17, 2014 at 9:00pm

I lost my husband to cancer a couple of weeks ago. He was 30. We don't have any kids so it's just me and our dog....

Comment by Foreverandever on October 5, 2014 at 8:29pm
Last Saturday marked the one year anniversary of my beloved husband. The days leading up to it were terrible. It felt like I was reliving the days that ultimately led to his death. Luckily I had people I could vent with, and the day before I balled my eyes out talking about how much I missed him and how he will never be forgotten with two of my best friends. The actual day of his anniversary we went out to his grave site, prayed a rosary on his behalf, then did a balloon release. It was beautiful...there were about 40 out of us there. Afterwards, most of us went to a mass in his honor and then my family came over to our home and we hung out the way we used to when my husband was here. It was a bitter sweet feeling...glad the one year was over and then it hit me. He is never coming back, and despite how hard I try to recreate moments or keep things as the were before; he will never come back to me. When everyone left I felt emotionally exhausted. I know deep down that I shouldn't dwell on the things that I cannot change, but I can't stop dwelling on how my 3 year old will not have her daddy around to experience things with her. He would have been the greatest daddy in the world, just like he was the greatest husband in my eyes! I've had a lot of ups and downs this last week. Somehow, I had imagined that after the one year anniversary things would automatically get better.
Comment by Thabi on September 18, 2014 at 2:21am

@neverwasnorwillbe.  I know you have probably heard all this before and it probable doesnt make sense but It does get a little less harder with time.  I too read alot of books and spoke to many young people who had walked my walk.  Alot of the stuff was a little annoying for me at the time but Im glad I read the books because im using that information I read back then a little more now.  What also helped was imagining if I had died, and left my husband behind, how would I have wanted him to live his life.  I would have wanted him to live his life to the fullest....

Comment by tairba on September 18, 2014 at 1:02am

It's been a while since I posted on here, but I thought I would share.  I just made it past my one year mark.  And even though I love and miss my husband, life is good. A year ago, I never would have believed that, that somehow I would be able to find joy in things.  I remember hearing fellow widows tell me all the time, "time is on your side."  I couldn't believe it.  How could time be on my side if, with each passing minute I was further from the last moment I held my husband in my arms?  But, I have learned that time really is on my side.  I have begun to feel alive again and today, I am so grateful for that.  If you just lost your spouse, please know that you won't always feel the way you feel today.  It does get better.  There is light, and not just at the end of the tunnel, it's in the middle too! Cling to whatever you have left.  Be it children, your faith, your family, your friends; they will help you through this.  Hugs to you all.


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