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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the 80s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to widville@gmail.com.

Members: 290
Latest Activity: on Wednesday

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Comment by CrazyWidow on Wednesday
Welcome everyone. Your stories all tough my heart. I honored 8 years since my husband passed on 10/28. It does get easier but everyone has their own timeline and we all need to honor and respect that. Hugs and love.
Comment by CGPandMe on Monday

Hi Ana,

I just happened to see your post, and wanted to reach out.  I lost my boyfriend of 4 years (and the man to whom I was about to get engaged) very suddenly two and a half years ago. My heart breaks for your loss...there simply are no words for what you are experiencing.

I also wanted to let you know that we have a Soaring Spirits Regional Group here in San Diego that gets together twice a month for dinner or some other activity.  Feel free to message me for more information whenever you feel up to it - there's definitely a community here in San Diego that is available to you if and when you decide you need us.

Sending love to you and everyone else on this board.  Being widowed in our 30's was definitely not in our plans, but at least we have each other.

-Jenny

Comment by Ana on Monday

Hi everyone.

I'm new to the site and decided to join as many groups that apply to my situation as possible. I am 36 years-old and lost my husband of 13 years on 10/27. He battled colon cancer for a year and a half. We have two kids (6 and 9) and live in San Diego. 

Just wanted to say hi and see who's around that has gone through a similar experience. 

Hope to hear from someone soon.

Comment by kg4343 on November 22, 2016 at 4:08pm

Hello Darrel, I am very sorry for your loss as well as all the others.  I know how hard it is, I lost my husband when I was pregnant with twins and they never got to meet their father.  just know it will get easier.  Some days I don't want to live and other days I remember I am living for my girls and you just force your self to function for your children.  I almost killed myself when my husband died but I didnt want to kill the babies inside me and I am so thankful I did not.  It is so hard but sometimes you have to just get up and function like a machine.  I talked to a therapist and that helped me.  I still see her 1x a week and it has been a year for me.  All of his clothes are still in his drawers and hung up in the closet.  His bathroom toiletries are all on his side of the bathroom, its like I expect him to come home still.  I am so sorry you and anyone that has a recent death near the Holidays, last year I skipped them.. (My husband died on OCT. 1 2015)  The only advice I can give is don't let anyone tell you how to feel or to move on, you need to take 1 hour at a time.  I cry all the time still when I think of things that remind me of him, or things I wish I could tell him.  I cried when Tony Romo was demoted bc I knew my husband would of laughed and said finally!!  All I know life is not a fair place but eventually little by little things will get easier.  I keep my self so busy that I exhaust my self but if i don't, i will go insane.  

Regards,

Katie 

Comment by Explorer7 on November 22, 2016 at 3:27pm

Hello everyone,

My name is Darrel, I am so glad I found this site.  I feel so alone but I know other are out there so I am glad I can now reach out to others who have lost.

I lost my loving wife last month on Oct 14th to a horrible single car accident.  She was only 34 and we have a 23 month old baby at home. I just thank god that our baby wasn't in the car as well. Since her passing I have been very busy with everything as you all know very well. Especially taking care of the little guy who probably is very confused as to what happened. He started getting sick that day and actually was throwing up in bed right before the coroner came to my door to tell me what happened.  I was devastated and I still do not know what to do.  My parents have been basically living with me since it happened. Thank god for them as I would have no time to grieve on my own. Our son is a good distraction for me but I cannot get over the thought that she is actually gone.  Everything I do I think about her and I no longer have any joy.  Only our son makes me smile and keeps me going.  He is the sweetest child and finally feeling better.  He was sick off an on since recently this week we went to the Dr 3 times during all of this.  Looking back just the past month I don't know how I went through this so far.  I guess it is our natural ability as humans to go on.  Feelings of sadness, loneliness, anger, exhaustion, fear, are always flowing through my mind.  How do you guys go through this? This is the worst feeling I have ever had in my life, I would rather have died myself than to feel this.  I miss her so much, I cannot describe it. My mind still thinks that she is coming back but I know she is not.  

This seems like the group to be in for young widowers.  If anyone would like to chat I could use talking to someone who is similar to me.

Best,

Darrel

Comment by Joshswife on November 9, 2016 at 9:09pm
Hey everyone, I'm recently widowed (09/07/16) from my husband of 10 years (several years of dating and before that friendship because neither had a clue that the other was so crazily crushing too!) that I had 6 beautiful children with ages 4,5,8,11,13,&15. He died in my arms on our bathroom floor. I still can't believe he is gone. He was my world and the love of my life. I've never in my entire life been so intimately connected to another person. It was so unexpected that I really think I'm still in shock. The tears just stream down my face hour after hour, day after miserable day. This pain is so devastating it's destroying me more and more each day. I miss him so much and I'd give anything to have him back here with me. He was so much a part of me that I cannot even find a way to function now. He was my partner in everything and I loved that feeling. The one that makes you feel like its you and your loved one against the world, fighting for what you want in life for each other, and for our children. I miss the looks he gave me, and even more so the way he looked at me like he was amazed to be with me still after almost 15 years in each others lives. It was the same look he gave me in the middle of the night when he followed by telling me that he was just in shock and couldn't believe that he was actually there with me, finally, after years of dreaming about being with me. He honestly thought he would never have any chance with me. I miss the way he looked at me while we made love, that same night, when just before that statement he made to me I had written above. How he looked at me with that same amazement and love every time we were together. I miss the intimacy we shared, in and out of the bedroom, without even having to make an effort. I miss falling asleep on his cheat while I twirled his beard in my fingers. I miss knowing that he was the one and that he would always be the one to me... No matter what happened he would always be there for me and our babies. I need him here so badly. I feel so weak and alone now. It's like part of me has been ripped from my chest and died with him that early morning. I cannot get the image of his face beneath me, lips blue, and completely limp, out of my mind. It haunts me. I loved him so much and I can't stand this. I feel so empty without him by my side. This is officially the longest we have ever been apart even with him working a job that took him out of state for weeks at a time. It's still just getting harder every day. On top of that, I'm losing people I thought I could trust, that were true friends... Oh how I was wrong. I think that they have some sick pool going on who can be the first to get in my pants. Shame it will be none of them because I think that if you're sleazy enough to hit on or try to get laid with your dead friends wife within 2 weeks of his death and then continue to try even after you've been repeatedly told no, I probably won't be coming around you. I've sadly lost quite a few friends thank to that behavior. I know I'm rambling but this is how my mind works at least for the moment.
Comment by Kasiopeja on October 17, 2016 at 4:14am

Ok, I need to correct myself after receiving tips how to use this website. So, I am 30 years old and I have a 2 year old son. I lost my life-partner, my soulmate, my best friend, love of my life in January 2016. He disappeared in 10 days due to  inflammatory cardiomyopathy. Was perfectly healthy one day and in 10 days died. He was my age and it is a huge loss. For all this time I have been thinking how great lost it is for my son who will not have him around and from the day it happened I put myself in the mission of making memories for my son, when he grows up to have something to hold and keep about his father so I am preparing him a movie about my husband and me since we were together for 9 years and lived every single day to the fullest, therefore many memories. Our friends already gave us a memory book with shared photos and stories about him, and I made few photo albums of my husband and my son and we are "reading" it from time to time. I dont; want to overburden him with some image of perfection of his father as I want him to develop into himself (not his father) one day... So, I lot of struggle because still after 10 motnhs I am not really able to take time and look at all the videos for making the movie for my son as I really need time for all of that. In all those happenings I was avoiding really thinking about how I feel. My feelings range from enormous gratitude of having had him in my life to enormous sadness when I start drinking my tea and not being able to speak with him anymore. He was my best friend in all possible way and we were working together and literary spending every day together, and we never had enough talking.  We planned to have another child very soon and also to start making next 10-year life plan and to develop our own project for helping development of small-scale producers and we were always saying that two of us together are worth of 100 people. When our son joined we were saying: Ok, now we worth for 1000. Now, there is me and my son. 

Comment by Nessiebear on October 16, 2016 at 7:04pm

Hello,  I lost my soulmate 16 days ago to heart failure.  We were finally going to fulfill our mutual dream of having a food truck together in the spring.  Since we bonded over cooking and trying out new recipes, I can't even manage to get food in me until very late in the afternoon. even then its only because I am too dizzy and weak to keep going through the day.   I can't even get through washing dishes without breaking down.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to rally myself to eat?  Everyone says "take care of yourself" and cooks a ton of food for me, but i just can't stomach eating food before I am faced with the risk of falling from dizziness. 

Comment by Kasiopeja on October 16, 2016 at 3:55pm

Hi everybody. I just joined this group as I realized that I don;t have actually anybody to talk about my lost. I have so great family, both mine and my husband's who are supporting me, taking care of me and giving me all possible love. I have such a huge group of amazing friends who done remarkable things for me, who are supporting me in the most beautiful ways and I love them all so much. When I lost my husband almost 10 months ago I realized how many friends I have. They all loved us so much - both separately, but much more us as a couple. We married in 2013 and had our baby in 2014. All these people are amazing in loving my 2-year old and me and I am truly grateful for that. But with all of that there is one huge problem that I am personally facing - and that is actually being alone and not being able to talk with anybody about how I truly feel. I made a mistake of acting very brave and proud and I was thinking about my child's lost and what kind of a single parent I am going to be and taking care of the grief of everybody else except of screaming outloud and crying for days when this all happened. Not to enter too deeply into everything I just have such a huge urge to tell someone about every day I spent with my late husband. We were together for 9 years and we lived every single day fully aware and grateful of everything we had - so many memories. And I apologize for writing this long post, unfortunately I feel "I dont know", that is how I feel. I dont know if how I feel is sadness, grief, sorrow, or what... I just know that I am smiling almost every day, enjoying with my child and then some person who I met via my husband, or some song, or some text brings burst of tears and.. I am sorry.I realize that this is classical case of not dealing with this on time and not sure what is my point with this post. I guess just to put these words out of my heart... I am trying to figure it out how is it possible that I feel at the same time such a happiness and sadness - I feel I am full of life and that I am ready to go on with my life, and then I realize that I dont know what I am doing. I know I havent lost myself when he died so I dont need to find myself, because I was so free besides him and independent... and yet, I dont have inspiration to get through my work, I get blocked when I need to do some serious work, like I am waiting for him to just tell me: yes, you can do it. Oh... Thanks everybody who read this post and again sorry for it being too long. Thank you.

Comment by Judie on September 17, 2016 at 5:33pm
Hey Christina,so sorry for your loss..i think the pain never goes away, we just learn to deal better with our loss as each day goes by..
 

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