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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the 80s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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Comment by Hopeful30 on August 12, 2015 at 12:13am
Thank you peace&love2u. I've been feeling like a yo-yo the past 2 days. I unpacked some of my husband's clothes from storage and I didn't think the tears were going to stop. Reading your comments gives me renewed strength. Onmyown2014, you've made it this far. 8 months is still so fresh. I hope being here in this mini online family gives you some comfort. We are here for you.
Comment by Carol K on August 10, 2015 at 3:00pm
Bunny, our papillon has finally let me pick up Alan's clothes from the floor bother times I tried she would hop on then. She is still sleeping on his pillow at night and lays on his jacket in the car when we go for drives.
As for friends, I just had a conversation about that same topic. My Dr tells me not to make friendship decisions for the next 6 months. People that I have always been there for have been too wrapped up in their own lives to check on me. Other friends that I've had for years that I didn't have a lot of contact with have continued to check on me. I've really found out who my friends are through this.
I feel like I'm starting to come out of a fog with the help of friends that are here when I need them but don't push when I say I need to be alone.
I was fortunate to have Alan for 6-7 months after his cancer diagnosis. We had time to do what we could together and prepare for the inevitable. To me it was easier. I was with him when he passed. Our last words to each other were words of love. I'll always have that gift from him.
Comment by onmyown2014 on August 10, 2015 at 2:08pm

Hope everyone's doing pretty well today.  Yesterday was the eight-month mark for me since Amy passed away.  It's still hard to wrap my head around everything on some days.  I know I'm not the same as I was when she died in December, but I still don't feel like I've had a good day.  Still very hard to be motivated about things, or do something without forcing myself.

Hopeful - you're right about friends being "a mixed bag."  I've had a few friends that I used to depend on, but they've disappeared.  Other friends I hadn't talked to in a while, but have reconnected with them after December.  And none of them are widowed, but I've still had one or two say that they "know how I feel." 

Jennifer - if you don't mind me asking, did you have any luck finding groups or other resources through your therapist?

Carol - how are you and your papillon holding up?

Peace - I hope you and your son are doing OK.

Comment by peace&love2u on August 7, 2015 at 1:33am
My heart is heavy for you Hopeful30... I am lucky enough to have family around, so I just hate that you feel alone. Bless you for working so hard AND going to school on top of it. You are a woman warrior and an amazing mamma to your son. What a strong person he can look up to. I believe with my whole heart you will get there to be by him. I hope that his little loving arms wrap around you with a big hug and take some of the pain away. I know it seems impossible, but you CAN do this. You are right, you are not alone here. We GET it!
Comment by Hopeful30 on August 5, 2015 at 12:46pm
I don't have any family around me. My 8 year old son loves in 1.5 hours away with his biological father and my family lives out of state. The plan was to move back near my son after my husband graduated from college and I could have more financial freedom (I work 50-80 hour work weeks) to go to school and finally be there for my son. I realize I can still accomplish that goal on my own in the future, but right now I need a roommate to make ends meet. My friends are a mixed bag, some helpful, many not. None are widowed, so I found much comfort here in knowing I'm not the only one going through all these crazy ups and downs.
Comment by peace&love2u on August 5, 2015 at 11:45am
Thank you so much Hopeful30. Do you have any family or friends around who have been able to support you in your tragedy? My mom has been living with me for a while, and I see on there that you have a roommate moving in soon. I was possibly thinking about getting a roommate to move in to help with expenses. Do you feel good about someone else coming in? I hope you do!
Comment by Hopeful30 on August 5, 2015 at 3:41am
Welcome peace&love2u. That's a pretty screen name. I'm sorry for the passing of your husband. Congratulations on the birth of your child. Please make sure you are taking good care of yourself as you embark on this journey.
Comment by peace&love2u on August 5, 2015 at 2:49am
Hi Everyone.. So sad that we are all on this journey together, but am thankful for each and everyone of you.. My husband of 4 years died on July 1st after being in a coma for 3 months... He died from bacterial endocarditis that came from a random staph infection... Meanwhile in all of this, I gave birth to our first son, so I now have a 4 month old along with coping with the loss... I know we are all hurting, but I am just hoping to connect with people a little closer to my age (late twenties.) I am having a hard time finding support groups in my town, as the only ones available don't have younger widows like myself.. So I thought I'd come here. Just looking for some friends so I don't feel so alone :.(
Comment by Hopeful30 on August 5, 2015 at 12:17am
Coming home to an empty home is a nightmare, but at least I can cry in peace. I have a roommate moving in soon. As much as I want someone around, it just makes his death more real. It's only been 1.5 months since my husband passed suddenly. I haven't moved any of his things. I wish us all peace as we navigate this difficult journey.
Comment by Tinker0025 (Jennifer) on July 27, 2015 at 1:53pm

Carol K-  My dogs do the same thing. I have two of his smelliest shirt with me and the puppies in the bed and we all snuggle them. Its good for the dogs too. I would just let her be unless its a problem for you. My dogs look for him too. We got completely uprooted and I'm living with my family now 68 miles away from the home I shared with David. Its been a huge change for my dogs too. But we just go day by day and if they want to lay on daddies shirts I let them.

 

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