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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the 80s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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Members: 304
Latest Activity: Feb 14

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Comment by BabushkaD (Debbie) on February 12, 2017 at 2:52pm

Hi Rachel,

   I am so sorry to hear about your fiance. I am glad you have found this website. It is a great support, whether you are chatting with someone during the day or searching for others with common experience in the middle of the night.
   What will probably keep you going right now is your son. You are at a murky place in the journey of loss. The shock of losing your fiance is wearing off, and his loss is hitting you in a new way, hence the depth of your depression. I lost my husband 3 1/2 months ago, and I can only recognize it because I've been going through it myself. There are ebbs and flows in this journey, and they are different for everyone.
    If you have anyone to rely on nearby, please do reach out to them. But know this group is always here. And we know what you're going through. We're in the throes of it ourselves. That doesn't mean we're going to be down all the time. Everyone here is at different places in their journey. Hope you find the support you need here. -Debbie

Comment by Rachel on February 12, 2017 at 12:35pm
I am 29 and my 36 year old fiancé, and the father to my 1 year old son, passed away suddenly on January 7th. The cause of deAth is unknown. We will probably never know. We were going to get married on June 2nd. We bought our first house last may. He was renovating it himself.
Comment by Rachel on February 12, 2017 at 12:31pm
I am new here. Trying to figure out what to do to not sink into a deep depression that there is no coming back from.
Comment by Misty on February 6, 2017 at 9:28am

I know this is horrible but knowing that there are people my age here helps.I wasn't married for 30 or 40 years help some but as much I I wish this hardened happens to you I pray we can support and encourage each other.

Comment by LJC on February 6, 2017 at 7:52am
I don't really post either, but this is EXACTLY how I've been feeling lately. It's been 20 months and now the shock and busy-nes of making life changes have subsided I have so much time to feel the lonely. My husband passed away suddenly when we were 26 and I was pregnant with our first child. Since then Our son was born, I moved back to my hometown to be closer to family support, bought a house, and then have been getting used to motherhood and working to provide for my son and I. Now things have gotten routine and my life has settled down I have less to occupy my mind and distract me from the loneliness. All my friends are getting engaged and married, and I'm not 29 and have already lost my best friend and love of my life. It's so hard not having your person to share life with anymore, especially when everyone around you has what you've lost. my son brings me so much joy and company; I really don't know what I'd do without him. It's hard to admit that I feel this way. I put on a happier face than I feel to everyone I know since they really can't fathom how I feel or remotely even relate to what I'm going through.
Comment by ForEm on February 6, 2017 at 7:01am

Hi Misty, I don't post here much, I'm more of a wallflower, and check here infrequently for commiseration, and to get the sense that I'm not alone, but your story resonated with me. I lost my wife very suddenly, and this weekend will mark three years. It has taken an ugly toll, I had hoped that things would start to get better before this point, but have since given up on that hope, and am finally trying to force my life back into order for a future that's uncertain at best. There's support to be found here, seeing that I'm not alone in this unmatched tragedy gives me a melancholic comfort sometimes.  

Comment by Misty on February 5, 2017 at 11:20pm

My husband of 10 years dies suddenly while driving. I'm not ashamed to admit that the first three years following his death took a major toll on me my young children and my parents. I suffered from a complete nervous and mental breakdown and suffer from bi polar disorder. I could go on about how I still feel him behind me or that I would give all I have for just one more hug but I know that you all know how I feel (which is a first for me). Is it pathetic to say that I am so lonely for friendship it hurts to my bones. I seem to run people off because they don't know how to act around me. I know this isn't a great introduction so I'll say Hi, my name is Misty and I was widowed 4 days before I turned 30. I have two beautiful children, a girl Nena who is almost 13 and my son Elijah who is almost 11. They are my only reason for living but I pray with support they won't have to carry that burden much longer. Thanks for listening. Misty


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Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 31, 2016 at 10:56am

Don't be alone this evening ... we'll be in the Widowed Village chat room tonight to keep each other company. 

Event post:   http://widowedvillage.org/events/new-year-s-eve-in-the-chat-room

If you haven't tried it yet, here's a direct link to the chat room: http://widowedvillage.org/chat

Comment by Stuckinbetween on December 22, 2016 at 5:48pm
That's where my sister (best friend of 20 years) comes in. Her 4 kids have always been my heart, and when Luis passed, I moved from our home there in Florida, back to my family and friends in Indiana. Her and the kids decided it was high time for me to have Christmas eve and day at their house because I haven't been here for Christmas in 3 years. That will probably be our new tradition. As for his birthday, I have no idea about that one. One at a time is probably best right now.
Comment by BabushkaD (Debbie) on December 22, 2016 at 5:35pm

Stuckinbetween, it sounds like you have had a lot of hard dates to think through. What would have been your wedding, now the holidays, and his birthday coming up. I know the bit of advice I've heard again and again is to make plans for the days you know will be hard. I've also heard it's a good idea to come up with new traditions when old ones seem too hard. Some people end up celebrating Christmas, even if it was a big holiday with their loved one, because they know their loved one would want them to celebrate it. Grasp for what comfort you can, and it's okay to grieve your way through this.

 

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