Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Born in the 80s

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Members: 174
Latest Activity: Sep 18

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Comment by Thabi on September 18, 2014 at 2:21am

@neverwasnorwillbe.  I know you have probably heard all this before and it probable doesnt make sense but It does get a little less harder with time.  I too read alot of books and spoke to many young people who had walked my walk.  Alot of the stuff was a little annoying for me at the time but Im glad I read the books because im using that information I read back then a little more now.  What also helped was imagining if I had died, and left my husband behind, how would I have wanted him to live his life.  I would have wanted him to live his life to the fullest....

Comment by tairba on September 18, 2014 at 1:02am

It's been a while since I posted on here, but I thought I would share.  I just made it past my one year mark.  And even though I love and miss my husband, life is good. A year ago, I never would have believed that, that somehow I would be able to find joy in things.  I remember hearing fellow widows tell me all the time, "time is on your side."  I couldn't believe it.  How could time be on my side if, with each passing minute I was further from the last moment I held my husband in my arms?  But, I have learned that time really is on my side.  I have begun to feel alive again and today, I am so grateful for that.  If you just lost your spouse, please know that you won't always feel the way you feel today.  It does get better.  There is light, and not just at the end of the tunnel, it's in the middle too! Cling to whatever you have left.  Be it children, your faith, your family, your friends; they will help you through this.  Hugs to you all.

Comment by NeverWasNorWillBe on September 18, 2014 at 12:47am

Thank you for the warm welcome, I appreciate it.  This is exactly why I was reaching out to something like this.  I will definitely check that book out.  In fact, I'll probably buy it tomorrow.  I just finished a book that helped a lot, now you've given me a new one to rely on.  Thank you!  And thank you for the kind words about my wife, she was the love of my life.  She appreciates it.

Comment by theac1 on September 18, 2014 at 12:22am
I'm sorry you are here with us all under these circumstances. It's so sad to here that your beautiful wife was so young. It has not even been two months for me so I'm not the best at telling you what this journey will be like, but I can tell you that writing and reading are two powerful tools to help guide you in the right direction. I have been doing the same thing. I wanted to recommend a book to you since I saw you had an interest. The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (Author). The beginning of the book is a little slow, but wait until you get to the later half. It gave me a lot of hope and drive to continue with life and continue to do the things I love and what my husband would have been doing with me. I cried and read at the same time. I can't tell you things will get better, but please know that you are not alone.
Comment by NeverWasNorWillBe on September 17, 2014 at 11:26pm

Hi all.  I lost my 24 yo wife on September 1st.  Probably a little early to be doing this kind of thing, but I don't really know what else to do with myself.  I miss her so much.  I'm happy to be a part of this group, friends and family help, but to be honest I don't really care much for whatever they tend to talk about.

Comment by Thabi on September 17, 2014 at 1:41am
hi everyone, I am also new here. I lost my husband on the 10th of July 2014 in a car accident. we had 2 boys, 9 and 5 years old. I too feel sad that my husband is not here to raise the boys the way he had always wanted to. Nothing ever prepares you for loosing your husband, or for helping your children mourn for their father. They say it will get easier with time.... I hope it will....
Comment by theac1 on September 12, 2014 at 4:28pm

@Kiki8

I'm new here. I'm 27 and my husband passed on July 30, 2014. I had just given birth to our first son a week prior to my husband's death. I also have a 2 year old (daddy's girl). One of the hardest things to grasp through this is knowing that my children will not have their daddy to show them and teach them everything he wanted to. My husband's life was taken on a motorcycle after a lady failed to stop at a stop sign. I'm so sorry what has happened to Chris. Your story touches me because you think mostly of your daughter and that's how I feel. I hate knowing they will never get to know the TJ that I knew.

Comment by Kiki8 on September 12, 2014 at 1:40pm

It's been quite awhile since I have been here and posted... life with a 2 year old has kept me very busy.  It has been 2 years 2 months and 18 days since my fiance Chris was killed in a work accident.  I think about him 24/7... I miss everything about him and our life together.  I see so much of him in our daughter which is bittersweet in many ways but I am so thankful for her.  I hope you all are doing ok... my days have gotten easier to get through but that emptiness still remains in my heart.

Comment by CaseyLea7 on August 25, 2014 at 1:30pm

Kaitlin,

Make sure to save any voice messages and text messages.  Sometimes I read them or listen to them for comfort.  I know it's hard, no way around it.  Hugs to you.

Comment by kaitlin1983 on August 19, 2014 at 7:02pm

I lost my husband 14 months ago to brain cancer. He was 30 yrs old. So thankful I have our daughter who is 4 yrs old. I miss him so much and have kept his cell phone on this whole time. Just wanting others input on shutting off his phone. It is such a hard decision.

 

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