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Born in the 80s

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Members: 283
Latest Activity: Oct 17

Comment Wall


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Comment by Kasiopeja on October 17, 2016 at 4:14am

Ok, I need to correct myself after receiving tips how to use this website. So, I am 30 years old and I have a 2 year old son. I lost my life-partner, my soulmate, my best friend, love of my life in January 2016. He disappeared in 10 days due to  inflammatory cardiomyopathy. Was perfectly healthy one day and in 10 days died. He was my age and it is a huge loss. For all this time I have been thinking how great lost it is for my son who will not have him around and from the day it happened I put myself in the mission of making memories for my son, when he grows up to have something to hold and keep about his father so I am preparing him a movie about my husband and me since we were together for 9 years and lived every single day to the fullest, therefore many memories. Our friends already gave us a memory book with shared photos and stories about him, and I made few photo albums of my husband and my son and we are "reading" it from time to time. I dont; want to overburden him with some image of perfection of his father as I want him to develop into himself (not his father) one day... So, I lot of struggle because still after 10 motnhs I am not really able to take time and look at all the videos for making the movie for my son as I really need time for all of that. In all those happenings I was avoiding really thinking about how I feel. My feelings range from enormous gratitude of having had him in my life to enormous sadness when I start drinking my tea and not being able to speak with him anymore. He was my best friend in all possible way and we were working together and literary spending every day together, and we never had enough talking.  We planned to have another child very soon and also to start making next 10-year life plan and to develop our own project for helping development of small-scale producers and we were always saying that two of us together are worth of 100 people. When our son joined we were saying: Ok, now we worth for 1000. Now, there is me and my son. 

Comment by Nessiebear on October 16, 2016 at 7:04pm

Hello,  I lost my soulmate 16 days ago to heart failure.  We were finally going to fulfill our mutual dream of having a food truck together in the spring.  Since we bonded over cooking and trying out new recipes, I can't even manage to get food in me until very late in the afternoon. even then its only because I am too dizzy and weak to keep going through the day.   I can't even get through washing dishes without breaking down.  Does anyone have any suggestions on how to rally myself to eat?  Everyone says "take care of yourself" and cooks a ton of food for me, but i just can't stomach eating food before I am faced with the risk of falling from dizziness. 

Comment by Kasiopeja on October 16, 2016 at 3:55pm

Hi everybody. I just joined this group as I realized that I don;t have actually anybody to talk about my lost. I have so great family, both mine and my husband's who are supporting me, taking care of me and giving me all possible love. I have such a huge group of amazing friends who done remarkable things for me, who are supporting me in the most beautiful ways and I love them all so much. When I lost my husband almost 10 months ago I realized how many friends I have. They all loved us so much - both separately, but much more us as a couple. We married in 2013 and had our baby in 2014. All these people are amazing in loving my 2-year old and me and I am truly grateful for that. But with all of that there is one huge problem that I am personally facing - and that is actually being alone and not being able to talk with anybody about how I truly feel. I made a mistake of acting very brave and proud and I was thinking about my child's lost and what kind of a single parent I am going to be and taking care of the grief of everybody else except of screaming outloud and crying for days when this all happened. Not to enter too deeply into everything I just have such a huge urge to tell someone about every day I spent with my late husband. We were together for 9 years and we lived every single day fully aware and grateful of everything we had - so many memories. And I apologize for writing this long post, unfortunately I feel "I dont know", that is how I feel. I dont know if how I feel is sadness, grief, sorrow, or what... I just know that I am smiling almost every day, enjoying with my child and then some person who I met via my husband, or some song, or some text brings burst of tears and.. I am sorry.I realize that this is classical case of not dealing with this on time and not sure what is my point with this post. I guess just to put these words out of my heart... I am trying to figure it out how is it possible that I feel at the same time such a happiness and sadness - I feel I am full of life and that I am ready to go on with my life, and then I realize that I dont know what I am doing. I know I havent lost myself when he died so I dont need to find myself, because I was so free besides him and independent... and yet, I dont have inspiration to get through my work, I get blocked when I need to do some serious work, like I am waiting for him to just tell me: yes, you can do it. Oh... Thanks everybody who read this post and again sorry for it being too long. Thank you.

Comment by Judie on September 17, 2016 at 5:33pm
Hey Christina,so sorry for your loss..i think the pain never goes away, we just learn to deal better with our loss as each day goes by..
Comment by Christina on September 17, 2016 at 4:32pm

Hey Judie, I'm just about 3 months out now. It was 3 months on the 15th. I think there's always a little part that probably won't heal, but I sure as hell hope that it gets better!!!! I wish this was just a bad dream that we could wake up from. Hang in there, girl. 

Comment by Judie on September 17, 2016 at 2:23pm


i am 31, i just lost my beloved husband of 9 years to a heart attack, we have no children , we weren't able because he has a rare medical condition, so i accepted the painful reality of not being able to have children, and now i lost him,i lost my friend my soulmate my rock..everyday i cry my heart out and pray that everything is just a bad dream and i will wake up any minuet .. its been 5 months now .. they say time heals everything..

Comment by victoria8 on August 15, 2016 at 7:20am
Sburnie81 I lost my husband in December 2014. Another widower with a child told me that his biggest lesson was to ask for help when he needed it and to accept it from those who offered. Fund out about subsidies or help with care that you may qualify for and also take care of yourself. The better you take care of yourself the better you will be able to care for your kids. Big hugs
Comment by SBurnie81 on August 15, 2016 at 5:24am
Thank you Christina. I really like the photo album idea for my two year old especially. I'm glad I found this group too. The idea of being able to talk to people who can relate is comforting, sad but comforting.
Comment by Christina on August 14, 2016 at 10:06pm

Hey SBurnie81, I am 35, and have 5 little ones ranging in age from 3-12. I just lost my husband in June.... Actually 2 months ago today. It is one of those things where it does give us something to focus on YET our heart breaks for each one of our kids as well so the sadness and grief is compounded. I've been showing my kids pics and videos of their dad. Every night at bedtime they all say good night to me and to him. The youngest 2 say good night to him out loud... Good night, daddy. I love you. I miss you.    I tell them that daddy loves them and misses them too. I also always tell them how proud of them he would be/is. My best friend bought all the kids journals....for my two youngest, ages almost 4 and 6, I have them dictate whatever they want to say in a letter to their dad and write if for them. A good friend made them each beautiful photo albums that they can keep to look at any time. I know that I cry more than my kids do. I don't hide my emotions from them, and I would never want them to hide theirs from me. Good luck and glad you found us!!! 

Comment by SBurnie81 on August 14, 2016 at 8:06pm
Hello, I am a 34yr old father of a 4yr and 2yr olds. My wife, best friend, and children's mother passed away at the beginning of August, on our 8 year anniversary. I am so thankful that I have my children because it gives me something to focus on, but I'm crushed every time my 4yr old daughter asks me where mom is at. After her mom died I sat her down and talked to her. My wife battled cancer for the last two years, so I told my daughter mom is no longer sick and is in heaven looking over us. She is definitely old enough to remember her mom, so every night at bed I've been telling her story's about her mom so she won't forget about her. I'll probably do the same to my 2yr old son when he gets older. Any words of advise for a single father? Anything to look out for?

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