This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Born in the 80s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 31, 2016 at 10:56am

Don't be alone this evening ... we'll be in the Widowed Village chat room tonight to keep each other company. 

Event post:

If you haven't tried it yet, here's a direct link to the chat room:

Comment by Stuckinbetween on December 22, 2016 at 5:48pm
That's where my sister (best friend of 20 years) comes in. Her 4 kids have always been my heart, and when Luis passed, I moved from our home there in Florida, back to my family and friends in Indiana. Her and the kids decided it was high time for me to have Christmas eve and day at their house because I haven't been here for Christmas in 3 years. That will probably be our new tradition. As for his birthday, I have no idea about that one. One at a time is probably best right now.
Comment by BabushkaD (Debbie) on December 22, 2016 at 5:35pm

Stuckinbetween, it sounds like you have had a lot of hard dates to think through. What would have been your wedding, now the holidays, and his birthday coming up. I know the bit of advice I've heard again and again is to make plans for the days you know will be hard. I've also heard it's a good idea to come up with new traditions when old ones seem too hard. Some people end up celebrating Christmas, even if it was a big holiday with their loved one, because they know their loved one would want them to celebrate it. Grasp for what comfort you can, and it's okay to grieve your way through this.

Comment by Stuckinbetween on December 22, 2016 at 5:26pm
Thank you babushkaD, I haven't been in the chat yet, but I definitely will. I know what you mean about still being in shock. It's been almost 5 months, and I still think throughout the day I can't wait to see his face, then I remember. The holidays are compounded a little with me too as my fiances birthday is New Years day too.
Comment by BabushkaD (Debbie) on December 22, 2016 at 5:09pm

Hi Stuckinbetween. I can't say that I have any great tips for you, other than I've found the chatroom to be very helpful to me. I have made new friends there, and they have offered recommendations for books, but mainly just have been there for me. I lost my husband Oct. 30th, so this is my first Christmas without him too. I am probably still in a bit of shock in some ways. Feel free to reach out to me if you'd like someone to talk to.

Comment by Stuckinbetween on December 22, 2016 at 3:09pm
Hi all, I'm 33, and I lost my fiancé of 5 years in August. We were to be married this past November. I was having a particularly dark evening and found this organization. This will be my first Christmas without him, and I have no idea how to begin to function through it. The closer it gets, the more the tears just burst out of me. I'm reaching out for any kind of support. My friendson are great, and super supportive, but a lot of times don't know what to say, which is ok of course, I just feel so incredibly lost.
Comment by CrazyWidow on December 7, 2016 at 6:21am
Welcome everyone. Your stories all tough my heart. I honored 8 years since my husband passed on 10/28. It does get easier but everyone has their own timeline and we all need to honor and respect that. Hugs and love.
Comment by CGPandMe on December 5, 2016 at 11:19am

Hi Ana,

I just happened to see your post, and wanted to reach out.  I lost my boyfriend of 4 years (and the man to whom I was about to get engaged) very suddenly two and a half years ago. My heart breaks for your loss...there simply are no words for what you are experiencing.

I also wanted to let you know that we have a Soaring Spirits Regional Group here in San Diego that gets together twice a month for dinner or some other activity.  Feel free to message me for more information whenever you feel up to it - there's definitely a community here in San Diego that is available to you if and when you decide you need us.

Sending love to you and everyone else on this board.  Being widowed in our 30's was definitely not in our plans, but at least we have each other.


Comment by Ana on December 5, 2016 at 10:07am

Hi everyone.

I'm new to the site and decided to join as many groups that apply to my situation as possible. I am 36 years-old and lost my husband of 13 years on 10/27. He battled colon cancer for a year and a half. We have two kids (6 and 9) and live in San Diego. 

Just wanted to say hi and see who's around that has gone through a similar experience. 

Hope to hear from someone soon.

Comment by kg4343 on November 22, 2016 at 4:08pm

Hello Darrel, I am very sorry for your loss as well as all the others.  I know how hard it is, I lost my husband when I was pregnant with twins and they never got to meet their father.  just know it will get easier.  Some days I don't want to live and other days I remember I am living for my girls and you just force your self to function for your children.  I almost killed myself when my husband died but I didnt want to kill the babies inside me and I am so thankful I did not.  It is so hard but sometimes you have to just get up and function like a machine.  I talked to a therapist and that helped me.  I still see her 1x a week and it has been a year for me.  All of his clothes are still in his drawers and hung up in the closet.  His bathroom toiletries are all on his side of the bathroom, its like I expect him to come home still.  I am so sorry you and anyone that has a recent death near the Holidays, last year I skipped them.. (My husband died on OCT. 1 2015)  The only advice I can give is don't let anyone tell you how to feel or to move on, you need to take 1 hour at a time.  I cry all the time still when I think of things that remind me of him, or things I wish I could tell him.  I cried when Tony Romo was demoted bc I knew my husband would of laughed and said finally!!  All I know life is not a fair place but eventually little by little things will get easier.  I keep my self so busy that I exhaust my self but if i don't, i will go insane.  




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